Saturday, May 23, 2009

Comment for K.P.

I wanted to leave a really long comment on K.P. blog at/, she just cracks me up! But this subject is something I have a problem go and read her post about Pretty Woman 'cause it is too funny. Go and read it before you read this...GO!
Are you back? Did you leave a comment? She is a comment whore you know! GO!
NOW are you back? Heeelarious huh? Now enough about her 'cause we all know that it is all about me! ME ME ME!!!
So...a couple of years ago we went to Lake Tahoe for a week, guys golfed, we shopped, and of course. Well my Shoe Girl, (my SIL) and I were shopping and she smiled at a guy. Needless to say...he followed us around, first the store, then from shop to shop. At first it was funny, then it started to get kind of scary. Finally we got in the car, and we lost him, we thought! We went into a store to get a diet coke and he followed us in. Well HER in!
By this point I was way creeped out and had the guy at the counter call the cops. They came and hand cuffed the guy, questioned him, blah, blah, blah. She Girl was pretty scared.
While the officer was talking to us, I asked him why I didn't get a stalker. I never get a stalker unless it is a bill collector or repo man! That darn cop did not even offer to frisk me! What does a girl have to do to get frisked?!
At the airport? No, just take your shoes off. Pulled over for speeding? No...just your license! Do I look that homely and molly that cops don't even feel the need to pat me down?
Now granted, Shoe Girl is hot, 'course she is WAY younger than I, like about 2 or 3 years...but seriously? I can't even get the valet guy at the mall to frisk me!
So must be tough to be super hot, your stalkers and all. The only males that follow me around are related and just want money.
Do I have to take a sharp object to the airport? Sewing scissors? Crochet hook?
Not having Superhotism is not as fun as you think! We may get all the movie roles of homely mothers and stuff, but we can't even get frisked for smuggling candy into the theater!
What is wrong here?
Now don't get me wrong...I don't WANT to be stalked, I just want to be hot enough to BE stalked...without the creepy guy. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and for all of you that went/read/heard conference...I have to teach Jeffery R. Holland's talk. Any thoughts? Before tomorrow? E-mail me...thanks.

Friday, May 15, 2009

All Hail the Writers!

I have noticed a reoccurring theme the last couple of weeks on several posts that I have been stalking...mainly about how bloggers love to write! Some majored in journalism, some do it for a hobby, others do it as journal entries...and then there is me.

I was trying to figure out why I do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah...kind of a journal entry I guess, I did want to share photos with friends and relatives far way. (not you Crash...unless you have been in will just have to stay on the friends side and stay off the deadbeat fence!) Well, I have found that I am really not very funny, not like K.P. or quirky like Crash or hot like Shelle...and I could go on and on. However, I did realize that I do do an awful lot of b---hing, complaining, moaning, whining, and just plain venting. Am I a downer? Am I as depressing and pathetic as I seem? I have no talent at this writing thing...but I do enjoy it, and I love to read all of your stuff!

Do I really have to find a lost puppy? Can I trade in one of my kids for a puppy? I don't even get a good vacay! Our vaycays consist of BYU football games (go cougars!) but sad is that? Don't make me start being all spiritual and faking like I could do a post like that!

Well...I guess I will continue to write about Homer and McFly...and no she has no clue where her nick name comes from, she is way too blonde to figure that out! Oh, by the way Inmate #666 wasn't even offended about his nickname, he was ticked about his lousy photo! He thought maybe some hot blogger would want to look him up and he didn't like his smile...oh...the naive-ness of non-bloggers! I told him that was the least of his worries!

So guys, keep making me laugh, keep humoring me and fake like ya'll like me!! And I will try and get a picture of Scary Shorts Guy, who walks his dogs up my street everyday! THAT will make you laugh...

Friday, May 8, 2009

Welcome Home Jail Bird!

This is my BIL...let's call him...Inmate #666, got out of prison on Tuesday. He had only been in about 18 months, (second stint) but to my MIL, he is the chosen one! Now, he is a lot of fun, loves my kids immensely, used to be a crack head, and is only 47 yrs old!!!

Don't cha just love the white beard?

The lady at Von's grocery store made this...we didn't have much to work with.

We only get together as a Rader family when we have to, so he was grateful!
This is so my life...

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day everyone, hope it is all you desire, except my mom...who wrote an anonymous message on my last post! She eludes to the fact that I inherited my "bad mother" qualities from her! Oh please! I earned those qualities all on my own thank-you-very-much! I have the gray hairs and the He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named to prove it! Hey I bought you a cake now be nice!!!
Jules...for you!

P.S. Parenting from the Trenches
Do you have a child who lies, steals, sneaks, stalks, hordes, chatters non-stop, or urinates in places other than the potty, etc?! Check out this blog!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Do they love me in spite of me?

First of all...let's get the blackmail off my back. I keep getting threatened about our little Easter tragedy. So let's just put all the cards on the table. I KNOW that I am not a good mother so don't threaten me!
This is McFlys' Easter basket.

And this is McFly just as happy as can be! I bought the candy and crap, I just forgot to put it in the baskets with the cute grass and stuff the you vacuum up for months afterward. A cardboard box? Seriously? It didn't look that bad at the moment, but I will admit...not so good now.
I told her that I forgot to put them in baskets (as she was sitting there all dressed and ready for church) and she just rolled her eyes at me. Rolled her eyes? Where does she get this stuff?

At least Wheelchair Boy got a Tupperware bowl. A big one too...just sayin'...

This photo is just funny. He falls asleep everyday watching T.V. Here he is asleep with his only working finger still on the remote! Gotta love that sweet boy!
I can't keep going on about all my motherly sins, so back to the reason for this post. Now...I KNOW my one and only Homer loves me more than anything (except maybe golf...oh...and football...oh!...and the kids!) BUT! He committed the very worst of sins. Worse than cheating on me! The hurt from this is too deep to even explain!

See this?
This is probably THE LAST box of Sugar Free Snackwell's Shortbread Cookies in the U.S. of A.!
I order some from my friendly neighborhood Albertson's and got the last 3 cases from Nabisco that there was. They don't make them anymore...and this is my last box! I have been savoring these puppies sloooooowly!
My second to the last box was opened, and I was partaking in long intervals, and then it happened! One of Wheelchair Boy's friends came over to visit and brought his girlfriend. (This is a great 21yr old kid that lives down the street). Now please note that I love him to death. He comes and plays Madden with the Boy, takes him to the movies and just hangs out with him in between classes and work when he has time. So sweet and caring...I just love him...BUT...NOT enough to share my second-to-the-last box of cookies!
They were watching a movie and Homer gave them my cookies! I didn't know till the next day! I don't know that I can forgive him! And he rolled his eyes at me! Where do they get this? Is nothing sacred anymore? He won't even say he is sorry...he thinks I am petty! Hummp! Whatever. I can be petty if I want. I have not had sugar in over 5 years. I love those cookies and I am bitter that they quit making them. I need them. I love them. I want more!
OK, I feel better. So look at this cute baby quilt I made for the cutest little redheaded boy in our ward!
So easy! It is a Thimble Blossoms pattern.

How cute and squishy is he! His 2 brothers and sister call me Grandma Carrot. I just love them!
Which brings me to the point that I miss my grandbabies somethin' fierce. Maybe if they were here, I would have made better Easter baskets!
Just sayin'...

Friday, May 1, 2009

It's Friday!

I have spent the last couple of days in St. George trying to be a good mormon and quilt with my friends, because I have no talent and am not a "crafty" little mormon girl. It was good to have girl time and relax and not have anyone call me mom...except Wheelchair Boy did call me 17 times yesterday. At least one of my spawn likes me! He is the good child you know.

While I was there, I figures since I was the only one in the world not reading Miss Delacourt or anything by David Sedaris, I bought them. And yes, I did buy the book "Naked" just for the name of it. I'm only a couple of chapters in but it is hilarious! Does this mean I'm in with the the cool people?

Also, check out my BFF (whether she likes it our not) Shelle at BlokThoughts, her post on Dirty Little Secrets is too fun, and you can leave your secrets anonymously! But go ahead and leave your name...we won't judge...maybe laugh, but not judge!

OK, enough about the hot girl, 'cause it's all about me don't cha know! I wanted to show you a photo of a quilt I did for Wheelchair Boys' Neurosurgeon Dr. Peoples. I call him "Peeps" 'cause he has saved the boys' life so many times, I feel I have earned the right to call him names! OK, history...Peeps is a Einstein fanatic and has been collecting tee shirts since college and I took them all a made a quilt!

Yeah, yeah, only took me two years but at least I finished it which is more than I can say for anything else I ever do.

This is Peeps and his Assistant Khyla, whom I love ssssooooo much 'cause she always laughs at my jokes!

For all you quilters, PLEASE don't enlarge this and look at all my mistakes cause it was done completely out of love, and I mean love! He is the greatest surgeon ever, an honest and upstanding guy, and dang cute on top of that! Oh, and he makes me laugh...