Raders Out Loud

What Happens In Vegas...

2011-01-12T11:28:00.000-08:00

I have been reading the local news on the internet. I don't watch it at night because I can't sleep when I do. I can't watch Hoarders right before bed either. Scary stuff.

So this is what is happening in our small town...

The CES show. Lots of drunk people, stay away from the strip.

Near drowning of a 3 year old. This is why I can't sleep.

Marijuana controversy. Although it is medical marijuana is legal here, they are closing down dispensaries right and left. You can legally grow it...you just can't buy it.

Is it just me or does this make you giggle? In Nevada? HAHAHAHA!!!

You can have a prostitute, and a myriad of other things that go on here and you can't legally buy weed but you can smoke it? I don't get it. Does this mean the little old lady with cancer that buys from a dispensary is going to get arrested?

We also have some of the toughest adoption laws in the country yet a sexual predator that has worked in day care for years was just caught. Ummm...back ground checks?

You know, this was a safer and cleaner town when the mob was running it. Just ask Charlie Sheen.

A Brand New Year!!?

2011-01-09T11:52:00.000-08:00

I have not posted since the beginning of November so this is going to be it in a nut shell.

November...well that was a trippy month. WB has been so sick this year I am at a loss. What do you do if there is nothing you can do? He is so miserable. We went back in the hospital with the usual shunt problems and then found the Mersa. Like he doesn't have enough to deal with? And his port-a-cath clogged up. The boy already has no veins!

My FIL passed away on December 1st. WB and I were in the hospital so we missed the funeral. Bummer. Although Grandpa did not like me anyways. Go figure. How could you not like me? I can see it if you are a normal person, but he HAS to like me. He is the only father I have had for the last 20 years. He was 86 years old and a great man and I tried to take care of him the best I could and he did appreciate that. He was always very polite and nice to me but...oh well. Bummer.

Because of WB being so sick I didn't do Christmas shopping until 3 days before Christmas. Thank goodness for internet shopping and BFF's that come for the day and put up my pathetic amount of Christmas decorations! I am getting rid of at least half of it this year. And yes it is still up in the house and will probably be up on 4th of July. Don't judge. Unless you all want to come and take it down with me. I'll even cook for you!

Christmas was crappy. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named has a b-day on Christmas Eve. Who gets arrested on Christmas Eve for ALLEGEDLY stealing a car? Who does that? On Christmas?!

I had to tell his kids the reason he wasn't with them was because he was feeding the homeless at a soup kitchen. Yes I am going to hell for lying to them but...oh well. They are only 4 and 6. They have their whole lives to find out about him.

I got some hate mail today asking me if I was still blogging. (JK Sissy!) I have wanted to but have been a little down lately. You know, the thing I love about getting old is that you don't have to have crappy friends. You get to weed out the high maintenance people in your life. I am so afraid that I am turning into THAT friend. YOu know the one with the black cloud over their head?

I am trying to be like KP. Always happy. I am very good about living in denial and popping the happy pills but after 133 surgeries on WB, it gets a little hard. I had to teach a RS lesson at church about gratitude. I am thankful for lots of things...a great husband, a convict, (yes he is still in jail), WB goes without saying, and a daughter who plagiarized her book report straight off the computer right after the principal gave them a 30 minute lecture about it the day before.

I blame the principal for it. I KNOW McFly did not come up with that on her own. The principal gave her the idea. Why should McFly get the F? I mean word for word! Cut and paste. Even left the highlighted words in there.

Yes...Mother of the Year. I really have it going on. No wonder my FIL hated me!

What's in YOUR wallet?!

2010-11-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

I am so sick of commercials. Political commercials. And Political phone calls. And my recycling bin is overflowing, and we just re-elected a wing nut to the Senate. And NCIS was preempted last night. That is just wrong! How can I make it through the week without my dose of Gibbs?

I'm sure we are all happy/miserable for the outcome of elections but joined in delight that it is all over, and just in time to start cooking for Thanksgiving. I am tired and want to come to your house and eat this year. What time shall we be there?

I do love the fall. It is my favorite time of the year. I don't know why, but I feel it is time for renewal. Out with the old and in with the new. Spring cleaning, opening all the windows and airing the house out. Airing out your spirit. Take a deep breath and smell football in the air!

Yes, I am rambling. I have a tendency to do that. Nothing important to say...except someone at my church heard me ringtone the other day and told me it was evil. Seriously? What is so evil about the song " Time Warp"? It is a great song!

What is your ringtone? What does it say about you? I have a couple of them. "Time Warp" and "You Can't Always Get What You Want" are great songs. Does that mean I am evil because I like a song from a sick and twisted movie that makes me giggle? I don't get it. Tell me about yours and don't judge me. Am I evil? (sad face)

I Got In Trouble For Telling A Lie...

2010-09-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

Since Crash called me a bigfatliar and said Shoe Girl was cuter and skinner than me, I thought I would make it up to her. People who REALLY know me just expect everything I say is a lie, but since I have never been to Hawaii and she won't let me stay with her when I got to Happy Valley I thought I would make it up to her. Just so she knows that I am not giving back her play list!

OK quilty friends!! If you guys even knew how funny that was because none of my real quilty friends even read this bog they just read all of yours 'cuz secretly they hate me. So Sherri, please tell all of your quilter friends which covers about half of the world you stinkin' over achiever you!!! (Really she is an unbelievable quilter AND has a clean organized sewing room, so I secretly hate her!)

I don't know how to do a linky thingy. No one will tell me how to do it because they don't want to link to their blogs but I do know how to add a gadget! I have a new one to The Magic Quilt! Click on over and maybe if you all donate (and I'll bet they could use some quilts too) Maybe Miss Soon To Be Author will be my friend again.

Yes! I will bring fabric to the next game and maybe I can talk April and Shelle into going with me!!!

We will just call this my Eagle Project!!!!

My Journey From Bitterness to Forgiveness...for CRASH!!!

2010-09-01T06:05:00.000-07:00

Well sorry to say this whole problem started with Jack Johnson. Yes good old JJ. Crash(insert linky thingy here. Someone please e-mail me and tell me how to do it)! Anyway...Crash had a contest for JJ tickets in SLC and I must have entered 50 times and I did NOT win!!! How could that be? Seriously Crash...I think it was rigged. Some other sweet soul won but she is an innocent victim in all of this unless she is Crash's BFF and I just don't know about it.

I was so unset about it that I could not even sleep at night with such hard feels. I mean really. Does she kick puppies? Does she text and drive at the same time? Does she? Who would not let me win?

I tried so hard to figure out a way to get back at her but realized that it was just too much work to be mad so I decided to forgive her and the blessings just started to flow. Yes! Hallelujah! It does pay to take that high road! My ex-SIL Shoe Girl called...

Oh Yeah!!! Michael Buble'!!!

15th row...front and center!!!

Now if I was petty and completely a wicked woman I would say nanny nanny!!!

But of course I would never do that.

This is me and Shoe Girl. Don't let looks fool you, I am the slutty one. And she is making me look fatter than I really am.

I really hate going places with her. Yes she is fun and stuff, but she does get gawked at, stared and drooled at, women despise her and she has even been stalked with me there. Seriously. We had to call the cops. I was throwing myself at that dang stalker and he still wanted her!

Well Crash...as soon as you apologize to me and tell me how jealous you are that I got to see Michael Buble', (I like to call him Michael Bubble because it freaks McFly out. It gets her every time! She yells at me! "Mom! It's not Bubble. It's Buble')! then Crash and only then will my journey be complete. And...why won't he come to Vegas anyway? Does he think we are all sinners and big fat liars? Well maybe we are. About Crash anyway. That sweet spirit her.

Speaking of McFly she finally saw all 3 Back To The Future's. I told her that is where we got her nick name from. She didn't get it. And there we are.

If Crash ever speaks to me again because I'm a big rude to her, I will tell her that me and my BFF's are going to bring her a booty load of fabric for her Magic Quilt. (insert linky thingy here) I have lots of quilter friends you know.

And forgiveness is a wonderful thing.

I Beg You...DON'T FORGET ME!!!

2010-08-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

OK, so who has forgotten all about me and my pathetic life? Oh don't act like life has just moved on for ya'll and you have problems of your own because it is all about me!!!

Well it is Friday the 13th and historically it is a GREAT day for me and it started out great. I watched Tremors last night, classic Kevin Bacon and slept in till 9:30 because WB stayed up late last night, then I got all bitter because Crash won't take me to see Jack Johnson and Shelle made me do the ugly cry which I thought was reserved for teaching Relief Society. I would do links to their lovely blogs and I would like to tell you I won't because of my aforementioned bitterness...but in reality I can't remember how. So there.

After the ICU stay for WB and before the bitterness, this is what I have been doing.

TADAAAAA!! How do you like the tricked out dresser I painted for McFly? And yes I did the rose swag on them and the roses on the side. Well I glued them on and painted them anyway.

Now because I have forgotten how to upload photos correctly, this post will be all over the place. I know that is surprising to you since you all think my life is in order...but I have news for you...

This...

And this...

and of course this...is my REAL life.

Well technically, it is my She Cave and I am redo it. I can't redo my life so I am redoing my house. It is called denial and yes I love me some Elvis and my new imac I got for Mother's Day. I had to beg and cry and withhold ...well you know. Just kidding...I would NEVER withhold THAT!!!

This is my new scrapbooking cabinet that I drove to SLC and got off of Mormon's Craig List. Just kidding...KSL.com. I love it!! It was a really cool orange, red, salmon, blah, blah but I painted it happy colors. Like a beach, but not.

This is another dresser I painted, bought it for $40 bucks! I love it but have no where to put it so it is sitting in my living room. By the way, the rest of my house does not look like my She Cave, I do clean...sometimes.

By the way I need a really cool antique mirror in that nekked spot.

Yes, I admit it, I love beat up old furniture. I LOVE antiques and have had them for years, but my BFF Texas, came down (she lives in Provo now and lets me slum at her house for the BYU games), and helped me change my living space...well maybe she did it while I ran back and forth to help WB. They had to take his pain pump out of his spine because it was infected so he is quite needy now and we (I mean HE) lives on Loratab and Valium. I wish it was WE!!

See my great lamp shade Texas made me for my B-Day?!! It is made out of my Grandmother's hankies.

Did I tell you that my cute little FIL is living with us now? Got rid of the stupid BIL after 4 yrs, just in time for Grandpa to move in. He is not well and can't be left alone.

Here is my buddy WB...do you see where I am going with this?!!!

Actually, my sweet grandbabies just moved back to Vegas so I will get to see them more often!

Baby Momma and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named got divorced, but I got custody of her!

McFly and The Princess fight like cats and dogs or sisters...close call on which is worse! Sibling rivalry is new to me and I have a hard time dealing with it. Too much chaos in in our lives. But I am glad to have them near us and I LOVE Baby Momma's new boyfriend. He is good those babies so I don't have to worry about them...much. All Grammy's worry, right?

School is about to start and I can't wait for some semblance of a routine. That was a joke huh?

Well I will get back to cleaning the cave, crankin' the itunes, and ignoring my children. It is what I do best. And speaking of Princess...the other one...thanks for the card...I love you!!

P.S. I am not proofreading this so don't judge.

Things that make me smile!

2010-06-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

OK...things that make me smile...hummmmmm...I got nothin'!

No really...I'm trying to make myself think of things that make me smile so I will not feel sorry for myself. So...here goes!

Walking out of that dreadful hospital and smelling the thick fragrance of Jasmine in the air.

Pulling up to a red light, made at everyone and hearing "I Am A Child Of God" coming from the car next to me and seeing a cute little Mexican lady singing at the top of her lungs. Life is good.

Seeing brand new babies leaving the hospital...and knowing I get to sleep all night! HAHAHA

Getting a texted photo from The Princess who just lost her first tooth! I told Baby Momma she needed 10 bucks for that one!

Well that is all I have right now. WB has been in ICU for over 3 weeks now but is getting better!

I have gained about a million pounds but I got my new Jack Johnson download yesterday so all is right with the world.

I have not been reading every one's post lately, I should have...KP can always make me laugh! If anything great of very bad has happened, good for you or I am sorry which ever is more appropriate. Hopefully we will be coming home on Sunday and I can get back to quilting and wasting my days reading about yawl's exciting lives.

School is out and as you all know I am not the nice kind of mother that LOVES having kids home for the summer. The only thing good about it is that I get to sleep in. Of course I can get a nice slave girl out of it. See? There is good in everything.

What I REALLY meant to say...

2010-05-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

This post is a tribute to Chief and her Wednesday's that I really love but am too flaky to participate in. So check her out tomorrow and here I go...

To the "friends" that rag on me for having my 84 yr. old in congestive heart failure father in law move in with me next month, when I smiled and said "I know", what I really meant to say...

"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Don't tell me I have too much on my plate and can't handle it. I know that! Don't you think I know that?! It is your job as "friends" to listen to me complain and cry about it, but support me in it! I love this man and will do what I can for him even if that means having an extra 6 Diet Cokes and a Xanax everyday. Please support me and give me chocolate."

To Homer that won't buy me a new computer and I say "That's ok, I understand we don't have the money", what I really meant to say...

I want it!! I deserve it!!! I have 1 kid with a hole in his head that will not heal, and 2 psychos' living here not to mention your Dad is coming and I need something to get me through it!! Gimme, gimme, gimme! I know I sound like a selfish little brat but I don't care! I WANT IT!!!

To my favorite doc Peeps who wants to put WB in the hospital this week for a hole in his head and I said "OK", what I really meant to say...

"Oh come on! It's Mothers Day on Sunday! I would rather spend the day with criminals at home that nuns in the hospital!" (Actually, I did text him and told him that and he said OK) but I just wanted to vent anyway just because I feel sorry for myself.

And last but not least...to my children whenever I smile at them, what I really meant to say...
"For cryin' in a bucket pull your head out of your rear end and get your life together! Who is going to take care of your father when he is 84 years old? Don't worry about me because I don't want to live with you either! You can just take me out to the north 40, but your Dad? He's the GOOD parent and he deserves it!"

Well, I feel better, now I will go have a cookie, make aprons for Sherri and Dawn, pop an Excedrin and have another Diet Coke. Happy Mothers Day to all of you! And if you are not a mother I would say lucky you, but that would be insensitive.

Missed you guys!!!

2010-03-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

I have been MIA for like, forever and I have missed you guys! This has been a very long year already and it is only March!!!

My WB has had it rough this year, and we have requested that they just put a zipper in his head. 125 surgeries and counting. I hope this last one takes. I really hate to see him in pain (if you do the migraine thing, think of that 24/7), so we just might have to take him out to the north 40.

Let's see...what else...Oh!! I had my grand babies for a week during AZ Spring Break! It was great and VERY exhausting! How can something so cute be so much work? I had allergies something fierce due to our 70-80 degree weather. Take that you northerners!!!

OK, now McFly...that girl...! They had a lesson at Young Women's about hygiene and not wearing too much make-up and they taught them how to put it on so they didn't look like sluts. Well McFly is only 12 and me being the mean mother that I am, I don't let her wear make-up, just lip gloss. She came home and told me all about it and I walked in the kitchen and got a snack, and she proceeded to rob me blind. Yes ladies, she stole my MAC make-up and brushes!!! Now you all know how I feel about my MAC make-up...it costs more than my house! And yes I hoard it!

The next day I'm looking for my blush and it is not to be found! I asked her about it and of course she denied it...several times. Homer finally (after 2 days) told her no questions asked and no consequences just bring it back. I went in and talked to her and she told me (accidentally) where her hiding place was and got me my stuff.

Next day, after she went to school I looked in her hiding place and what did I find? Not only our extra cell phone that she is not allowed to use without permission, but she had been texting on it. AND....there was a red lace negligee!!! I almost thew up!!! I had no idea where it came from and all kinds of things were going through my mind. Then Homer came home and I went through my "nightie" drawer and found the panties for the red lace item and was thrilled that it was mine. Yes I have so many of them that I can't keep track. But that is also the drawer I hide drugs in!!! Not bad drugs, good drugs!!!

Well, we have installed bio fingerprint locks and keypads on our bedroom door and my sewing room which is another favorite invasion place of hers. Lucky me. Adoption anyone? I think I will go make an apron...

Serious Problem With The Thought Process...

2010-02-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday in "Relief Society" at Church for those of you who don't know what that is...our lesson was on Freedom To Choose, or agency and crap like that. Anyway...the teacher asked us about choices we've made and why we make them and consequences and stuff and all I could think of for a good choice is that I did not kill my kid and bury her in the back yard because...I don't think I would make a good prison girlfriend. And Homer might get mad. He likes her. Because he is gone all day. That has to be the only reason.

Am I the only one who has thought this?!!

Then she made me breakfast this morning so I had to like her again. It is a day by day process. I have had to put locks on my bedroom door and on my sewing room door to keep her out. I have to pat her down every time she leaves the house goes to the home of anyone else. Yes, it is that bad.

Any suggestions? Remember...she has so conscience and no reasoning abilities. I know you smarties out there and all of you that just LOVE being a mom and are so good at it can give me some hints. Not Prozac. The happy pills came with The First Born.

Either give me some suggestions or tell my how big your back yard is....

Shout Outs

2010-02-04T14:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the D-I-V-O-R-C-E of The First Born and Baby Mama was finalized. Believe it or not, I'm kinda sad. Not about the marriage (sorry) they were so young it was just a matter of time, but I am sad because I really love her. She is sweet and a really good mom. I'm glad she is still in our lives and that she is raising my grand kids.

The shout out is to her and all single moms that are working, going to school, or whatever and trying to raise their children. I admire you. I consider myself lucky, just to be a stay at home mom, and I am married to a guy who is more nurturing than I am. I wish my son wouldn't have been on drugs most of their marriage so they could have made a go of it.

My next shout out is to the unbelievable lady down the street who just so happens to be married to The Guy On The Corner.

First of all, WB has been in the hospital again. He is home now. It was a routine shunt-fail-get-a-new-one neurosurgery. We like to look at it as a 3000 mile oil change. No, it is not normal, he just is....oh whatever he is, it's not suppose to happen but it does to him. Anyway...we are not private people I blog for hell's sake, but we don't like everyone to know when he is in the hospital because we don't like to have people fuss over us and you know how those Mormons are...they fuss over EVERYTHING and they is why we are all whacked and half of us are on Prozac.

But Em, she is one of those really mom's that actually like her kids. They are ALL great kids and I do hate her for that but every year at Christmas she makes these awesome orange rolls for some of the more needy people in the neighborhood. Maybe she just wanted to give them to us only one year, but I was not about to let that happen! Around August I start the lowering of the bar and begging. Seriously, they are that good! And she brings them HOT, straight out of the oven.

This year, I took the empty pan back to them and said "please sir, can I have some more?" They laughed at me and I wasn't even kidding. Really. I wasn't. When she makes them she doesn't make any for her family til new years and I thought if she made a batch for her family she could make another one for mine. This is logical in my little pea brain.

Well...I didn't get any!!! Can you believe that? After all that begging and lowering of standards?
Thank goodness for the always sick WB!!! Are you ready for this? Last night, hot out of the oven. the coveted Orange Rolls!!!! I was going to take a photo and post it, but you have all seen empty pans before, so I didn't think you would care. Dang they were soooooo good!

Can you believe her snotty little son who brought them, actually asked if he could have one? Tried to tell me that his family never did get any! Like THAT mattered to me. Did he think that it would pull on my non-existent heart strings? Yes, I did give him one. The smallest one. And don't think it will not cost him dearly! I will milk that one until next Christmas!

I told Homer that I wished that I had a "thing" that I could make or bake for them, and you know what he said to me? "Well, you just haven't found it yet." Are you kidding me? I have been slaving over him for almost 28 years and he couldn't come up with something off the top of his head? My jaw dropped! I will never cook or bake for him again as long as I live!!!!!

Well...a shout out the Em and all of you fuss budgets out there that make needy people feel loved. (maybe she was just trying to shut me up). I gotta tell ya, blogging is great. You can say things about people who never read said blog and they will never know!!!

Gotta get Better!

2010-01-27T11:49:00.000-08:00

Well I was going to wow you all with great photos of life at the Rader's, but SOMEONE crashed my computer (mom!) and we have been waiting for my computer guy to restore everything. I keep telling him I need my favorites back!!! It is kinda scary how much we depend on a computer and store everything on it and when it crashes...I really want to kill people!!!

I had some great photos, especially the one of McFly when she shaved her eyebrows on her 12th birthday no less!! Yup...shaved from the top down and the sides off. I was so MAD I really wanted to beat the livin' daylights out of her but I guess looking stupid was punishment enough. Sad thing was...she didn't think it looked that bad! Seriously...was she adopted or what? That is such a Rader thing...not a Hall thing of course.

WB has been sick for a couple of weeks so I have been sequestered to the house leaving only to teach Relief Society because I am such a spiritual giant!!!!! Oh I kill myself sometimes I am so funny!!!! Hey it was my goal to become more spiritual this year and it is not working out so well for me. I do WANT it, I just gotta WORK for it.

I realize these are random ramblings but I finally saw Julie And Julia. I also wanted to be all positive and write something fetching everyday...but we can all see how that worked out for me also. Oh yeah, great year for me so far huh?

I have set a goal to finish what I start! My good friend Saint Colly is the most organized, talented, finishing, perfectionist I have ever met.Gee, that made sense didn't it? Yes...she annoys the crap out of me because we are at far different ends of the spectrum (yes...she is a spiritual saint) but she is the type that makes you feel good and worthwhile when you are with her and she does inspire me! So...I am going to finish 2 quilts before I start another one, Yea me.

As for inspiration, you all inspire me to laugh at myself (and others), be happy, and do my best...because that is what I see all of you doing. So funny and so talented...just trying to make it through another day just like me. So Julie...bite me! I can not cook like Julia although I love her, and I can't commit to doing something cool like you everyday except to not kill anyone. That is as good as it gets my friend.

Bah......Huh?

2009-12-18T08:48:00.000-08:00

I have never had such a hard time getting into the Christmas Spirit as I have this year. My stereo has been broken and I can't use the ipod, in case WB calls for me. In the Good Mother Manual it ways I should not ignore him, but respond to his requests of "I'm sorry to bother you, but can I have a drink please?" Seriously...how can I say no to that sweet thing? Just because he can't get it himself is no reason why I should ditch him.

Well Homer went and bought me a Boze for Christmas! I small one but hey...I LOVE IT and have always wanted one! Now I can play my music in MY part of the house...WB is very territorial and that is were the computer is. Did I mention Homer gave it to my early? Now I can cry and complain and throw a tantrum if I don't get anything under the tree!!! Yes...I am that good...and that petty.

So here are a few things that have made me giggle these past couple of weeks. All from my blond ditsy girl McFly. I am not a writer so don't judge...

On WB birthday...McFly: "Mom, how many people are coming to the party tonight?"

Queen: "Well, WB has invited everyone and their dog."

McFly: "Really? Everyone is bringing their dogs?"

We found out (after extensive and expensive testing) that McFly does not have Attachment Disorder but she has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Yeah. On the way home from a long day of assessments I told her: "Well...now we know what race you are."

McFly: " Really?"

Me: " Yes, you are half black...or in other words, half African-American."

McFly: "Oh...cuz people always ask me and I just say I don't know."

(insert teaching moment) Me: "Now what are you going to tell them?"

McFly: (rolling her eyes and grunting because I am so stupid) "That I am half black and half African American!"

Yes, yes...she is almost 12 and knows who her Bio mother is...

The other day she wanted marshmallows that were melty in her hot chocolate so she but the whole bag of marshmallows in the microwave. I thought The First Born would die laughing...

By the way...I am very proud of The First Born...he is clean, has put on weight, and is doing well. He and Baby Mama are doing the big "D", and if he would get a job...life would be good for me cuz maybe he would leave. Love him but...just sayin'...

Where has the time gone!!!

2009-12-03T09:25:00.001-08:00

Well, I missed November...or slept through it or something. I can't believe it is December and almost Christmas!

November sailed away. Seriously. Right before Thanksgiving I came down with a bad case of Vertigo!!! Have you ever had that? It's just stupid. Nothing hurts. I'm not sick. But let me tell ya, the room spins, I am disoriented, and it is annoying. Really. I can't drive, walk straight, think, well...part of that is normal for me but now I have an excuse!

Yesterday I walked in my She Cave and sat down, 'cause I have LOTS of Christmas presents to finish up and I started hyperventilating! Then I started thinking about getting the decorations out of the attic and putting Christmas, (it is a 3 day process...I have a lot of stuff) and I had an anxiety attack just thinking about it! How pathetic am I?! I LOVE Christmas! Love the feel of it, everyone smiling in the stores, it is just a kinder, gentler, world! (I'm not talking about the day after Christmas shopping...that is a whole nether story!)

Why do we do this to ourselves? One of my Ya-Ya's told me I should just boycott the deco this year. Thought about it, but poor McFly...she already is convinced I'm sure that I am the worse mother in the world and that would just solidify it. She is the last kid ya know, and I don't bake things for her or any of the fun things you young mama's do. That ship has sailed! I do buy "homemade" cookies along with the Oreo's! I am not that bad!

This is also the time of year you start getting those dumb lame Christmas letters. I HATE them!!
No one ever sends a letter saying their child is about to be paroled and may be home for New Year's, or that they just got a new house because their daughter burnt down the old one. I want some reality people! And if your reality is 8 son's have already served missions, married in the temple and are graduating from law/med school this year...I really don't want to hear it!!!! That does not make me very Christlike now does it. Telling me that they are all happy and healthy is OK...a few on anti-depressants...even better. I'm sorry!!! I just want to feel better about myself. Is there anything wrong with that?

I know with is economy that people are going through come terrible things. Let's hear it! We are all in the same boat...my boat may be just a bitter smaller than yours, but it has a hole in it too!

Maybe we should have a Meet and Greet at my house. I will serve hot spiced cider and lots of good food and you all can help me put up my 12 Christmas trees and 50 boxes of decorations. But then you have to come back after Christmas and help me take it down. Yes I have been known to leave it up till June and August a couple of times, and all year once. Maybe twice. Not lazy, just overwhelmed.

Pathetic. I know...(sigh)

If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands!

2009-11-15T15:46:00.000-08:00

What is it with everyone's obsession with being happy?! I always thought that I was a happy person and the other day someone (you KNOW who you are!) told me that I just wasn't happy! Well yes I am! At least I thought I was until someone said that! Now I am all confused!

Sure, my life sucks, I pretty much can't stand my kids and some of my family (I can say that 'cuz the one's that I can't stand don't read this!) but other than that I AM TOO HAPPY dang it!!!!

So are you happy? Now...I know that "men are that they might have joy", but we aren't talking abut joy. Joy does in fact elude me. What is joy anyway? I feel joy with my grand kids, joy in my testimony of the gospel, (my church) but...that is about it. What am I doing wrong?

I feel peace, love, comfort, pain, but joy? Not so much. I realize that I couldn't get through my life without Homer and I am not saying that out loud just in case God hears me and decides to "test" me again...as he laughs all the way to the beach. I do know that I bitch and moan a lot, but hey...at least I don't hold it all in so that I die of a heart attack when I am 50. OK, so I am almost 52 and feel like I am 90. I guess that is another thing not to have joy in although I wouldn't go back and do anything in my life any different...except maybe I would give my kids up for adoption. Even the one I adopted.

Seriously...if you know me, you know that I do love my kids...I'm just kidding so don't get your panties in a twist, but I apparently suck at the mom thing. I must have said out loud once that I had this mom thing under control, and once again God heard me, laughed...and here we are not learning whatever it is that I am supposed to be learning. If I was catch on to that lesson we could move on to something else!

Men may have joy but do women? Do you? Maybe I feel it and just don't know it. I DO know that I would feel joy if I could ride WB's coat tails straight to the right hand of God, where he will be running around on that beach. I would even be willing to serve the mojitos, virgin of course, just to be able to feel that joy.

Home is a Wonderful Thing!

2009-10-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

After 6 long weeks...we are home and WB is alive and well! OK, he is alive...and slowly getting well. It is great to be getting back to normal, even though Rader Normal is...well...NOT normal.

I would really like to thank my momma for coming through for us and picking up the slack at home, picking up McFly from school and keeping her from burning the house down or being arrested.

I have been reading you all, maybe not leaving comments, but laughing just the same. I love you guys!

We are going to the BYU v TCU game this weekend come hell or high water!!! It will be my first game of the year, so Max better come through for us! Let me know if any of you are going so we can hug and stuff.

Teta...sorry your daddy passed away, I love you so much!!

Game Day!

2009-10-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

Yes it is game day for BYU vs. Utah St. Once again I miss it while Homer watches it at home. I will be in the hospital with WB. Wasted tickets...again! Good luck Max and Dennis!

Homer was with WB at the hospital Monday night and they were watching football. The nurse left to get the boy some juice and Homer ran after her to see if she would get him some ice water. He came back in the room and on the TV was Independence Day.

Homer: "What happened to the game"? (As he sits down in the chair and sets his 64oz. white trash mug on the night stand).

Old Lady: "Well, are you comfortable"?

He was in the wrong room!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! He said he was sorry to her and ran out and found our room!!! Then he realized he had forgotten his white trash cup and had to go back and get it!!!!! That gave me a good laugh and WB game out of his drugged stupor to giggle!!!

I would like to thank The Hamster for bringing me Diet Coke, I was trying to save it 'cause she put a pretty bow and flowers on it, I wanted to take a photo of it but I could not wait. Thank you soul sister!!!

We are back in ICU and I hate it in there. Can't have cell phones so I text incognito. I'm sure they don't notice. Luckily we have been blessed with great nurses who keep my boy alive and drugged. Gotta love good drugs!!!

Hope you all have a great weekend, I think our weather is in the 90's now. I wouldn't know, haven't seen the light of day in 5 weeks. Last weekend my SIL Shoe Girl came and spent the days with WB so I could have a rest. Life Saver!!! I slept for 2 days... Love you all, and thanks for all the prayers!

Still Lurking...

2009-09-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

WB is back in the hospital this week so I am still just lurking around y'all. Thanks for making me laugh, and especially thanks for all of your prayers. The boy thought that he would bleed out on my watch? Well I don't think so!!! We got him to the ER in time, big hole in his stomach, burned it up, blah, blah, blah...hopefully the bleeding will stop so they don't have to take out part of his stomach.

I just did a 48 hour shift at the hospital so Homer could go the the BYU game, the game I never want to talk about for as long as I live, and thank you April for sending me texts on how bad the game was!!! Love you sister! Hamster and I will be mourning this week.

Anyway, still lurking so don't say anything bad about me 'cause I will see it!!! And if anyone of you are capable of feeling sorry for me...please do so starting now...McFly has starting playing with fire and just about burning the house down today, again on my watch. Do you see a pattern here? Gee...does anyone need a babysitter? I'm really good with kids...

Thanks for the Prayers!

2009-09-10T21:20:00.001-07:00

There is this really great chaplain at St. Rose Sienna Hospital. He has been there for years and always says to me..."I know you are LDS, but is it OK if we pray for you?"

And then I always say to him..."Well, since we pray to the same God, thanks, I really appreciate that!"

I wonder why that is that some people think because you are a different religion that is may not be OK to pray for them? THAT would be my random thought Shelle and Jules...

Now to the good stuff...We have had a miracle! Seriously, we have! We had a ward fast for WB on Sunday along with alot of prayers for friends. Today they went in to surgery to remove his tumor...(5 docs said it was a GIST tumor), well they get in to remove it and it was the tube from his shunt that was growing into his stomach to create the "tumor"!

I am not one to say never mind Lord, it wasn't cancer so I don't need your help now...I TOTALLY believe in the power of prayer!!! Just like my friend Texas said..."this is a thank-you Jesus moment"!

Anyway, thank you all for everything, your prayers and happy thoughts! I told the doc that we had to be home by game time on Saturday...trust me...we will be!!! I can so be a nag! Just ask the fam!

BYU Cougars Rock!!!

2009-09-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

OK, I am totally jacking this post from Cute Sister 'cuz she did all the work and I am a loser that way! My Cougars Rock!!! What a game!!! We watched it in the hospital room with WB. We would scream and the nurses would run in and ask if everything was alright! They finally caught on...

We are so proud of Max and the team...just wish Unga could have played...and Pitta the Kitty Lover was awesome as usual!

Yeah, who cares if he is Danny White's nephew! He is WB's cousin!

(well he's my nephew too!)

WB did wake up out of his drugged up stupor to see the last quarter and was grinning the best he could! He does love his cousin Max and the guys on the team are so good to him. So sorry we were not there but the win made a crappy week better. WE BLEED BLUE!!!

Lookin' forward to a GREAT year! Hopefully we can make the games..

M.I.A.

2009-09-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggy friends! I will be MIA for a while...well, not totally MIA, I will lurk in the middle of the night when I am really tired and can't always leave rude and disgusting comments.

Las week Homer and I went for classes/testing to get our CCW, (concealed weapons) so I will be packin'! I do live in Vegas you know and have you met my first born? HAHAHAHA (you just THINK I am kidding)... then came home to a sick Wheelchair Boy. He has been pretty sick since Saturday, took him to the doctor...blah, blah, blah. This is not the usual brain surgery stuff, that I can handle, no, no...my sweet WB had to crash in the ER!!! Nurses yelling and throwing stuff...not my first rodeo, and he has been closer to the "D" word before. We are not panicky kind of people. (Although I will admit to you that I was praying HARD) but don't tell any of my other friends, I don't want them to think that I am spiritual!!! LOL

Ya know...as far as my first born goes...go ahead and call me a bad mother if you want! BUT! WB? Them are fightin' words!!! I have neglected and sacrificed everything for the boy, our whole family has, so don't tick me off!!! WB has never even had a bed sore in his life! OK...well Homer is in charge of that part, but I can take credit too don't ya think?

Anyway...long story short...gushing blood out from underneath his G-Tube, needed blood blah, blah, blah again...come to find out he has a rare form of stomach cancer. Inconvenient huh? He will be fine...just waiting to see if we do chemo or they cut it out. He has a lot of hardware in him and is at big risk for infection, so yes this does suck.

Now we are not "whoa is me, I'm a victim" kind of people. We don't want anyone in our ward to know so don't tell any of them. We just don't want everyone feeling sorry for us. Oh Wait!!! What about cookies? Or brownies? Hey!!!! Maybe I should get that "sorry" thing going! I could score!!!!

I did come out of the closet with my coke drinking to Homer the raw food freak! Nothing like a good medical scare to put life and diet coke drinking in perspective. Gotta love Heavenly Father's sense of humor!!!

Seriously...so grateful for friends who brought Cafe Rio and Red Mango, And really grateful for Homer and his strength. Don't tell him, but I could never do this without him! Really grateful for a loving God who is always there for me and keeps me in line.

Love you guys, I will be lurking so don't talk smack about me behind my back!!!

BYU game tomorrow night!!! Guess who will NOT be there??!!! Oh yeah...He does have a sense of humor...

THAT Woman?

2009-08-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

When did I become THAT woman? And yes, I do use the term woman loosely.

When did I become THAT woman with the bratty, irreverent kids in church?
When did I become THAT woman who is not as spiritual as she once was? Or the woman who spends more time plucking the hair on her chin than styling the hair on her head?

When did I become THAT woman who can't make it through life without her "happy pills" or she is afraid the bodies will pile up in the backyard?

WHO IS THAT FAT WOMAN STARING BACK AT ME IN THE MIRROR???!!! When did I become my mother? (NO.....I did NOT say you were fat mom...)

When did I become THAT cynical, angry woman? Or the mother of a drug dealer facing 20 years? When did I start crying or laughing at the most inappropriate times? And WHERE in the helk did this muffin top come from???

Today is my 27th anniversary!!! What would I do without the greatest thing that has ever happened to me? Does he roll over in the morning and say to himself..."When did I marry THAT woman?" Well...we both are going to have to suck it up!!! No he did not sign up for the wrinkles and mean mom eyebrow line... but hey! Neither did I! When he decides to fork out for the plastic surgeon, botox, and looney bin...not to mention a housekeeper...then we will chat...till then, we are both stuck with me!!

P.S. Hamster...I bought you a present! I bought you a present! (I'm singing that)

Provo...here we come!

2009-08-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

We are going on a short little vaycay tonight...going to watch a little BYU fall practice and Homer is going to golf and I will help my friend Texas do some projects around her house while WB watches TV and bosses us around. Texas has been our friend since WB was born, so she spoils him rotten and he loves it! (Kind of a break for me!)

So I hope all goes well...WB has been sick this week but is better now. I hope we don't have a hospital stint up there. He does love to go to the games and practices!

So...I know you will all be glad you don't have to hear my sarcastic comments for the next couple of days...maybe I'll find a 'puter and stalk ya all anyway!!!

I'm Baaack!

2009-08-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

Well I just got back from 6...count 'em 6 WONDERFUL days at Brianhead in a great cabin with 4 other great women...in our jammies and sewing our butts off from 7:00 am till midnight-ish! Eat and sew that is all we did! HA Kritta!

It was alot of fun and I will post photos when I get the energy...it is hard work sitting all day!!

One day me and Con Bon Jovi were taking the garbage out and there were 3 drunk guys watching us. We had 2 huge bags apiece (we cleaned out the fridge) so I told the guys that our friend ticked us off...hehehe!!! Then I told them NEVER mess with menopausal women! HAHAHAHAHAHA....they were speechless....

Wheelchair Boy couldn't live without me, but only called about 8-20 times a day...

Mcfly flew back to Ar-kin-saw to meet her bio grandparents and motor home through the states for a few weeks before school starts.

I was lounging around yesterday, and Mean/Cute Sister made me walk with her, with the promise of Red Mango (she tricked me!) and Homer is making me do a Raw Foods Detox with him!!! I know! He is mean too! I am allergic to almost all raw fruits and veggies...maybe he is trying to kill me off!

I really missed you guys...and is EVERYBODY moving?

For Women Only!!!

2009-07-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

This post is for women only!!! Seriously!!! If you are a guy you may comment and give your opinion, but if you are in my ward or otherwise related, we will NEVER speak of this! And yes, I can be blackmailed...

I have been taking a photography class because I want to be Shelle at BlokThoughts, when I grow up...no seriously, I don't want to take photos for money, I just want to take pics of really old things...architecture, barns, Homer, etc.

Anyway, I was looking at Teach's portfolio, and she has some great work! Which brings me to a question I want to throw out there...I REALLY need some opinions...I want to get a boudoir photo taken for Homer! OK STOP LAUGHING!!!! You will NEVER see it!!!! I promise I will not hang it on the wall next to my Jesus pictures, or display it at my 30 wedding anniversary.

Have you ever thought about it?

Have you ever done it?

Teach had some that were very tastefully done, even of old hags like me! Heavy set women looked gorgeous!

Am I totally creeping you out?

No Boobi showing...just photo shopped skin...what do you think?

Seriously Neighbor Guy on the corner...not a word!!!

Only 55 Days ' til BYU Game Day!

2009-07-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Well I am kind of back, Wheelchair Boy is out of the hospital, but he was sick again after 2 days...so we have been doing mega doses of steroids to see if it blows his ventricles open. If it doesn't work, just kill me! This is a cool photo of his head after surgery. Peeps does a great job with his stitches...it makes a quilter proud!

Well, only 55 days until the first BYU game! It will be in Dallas at their brand new stadium, BYU kickin' butt on Oklahoma! I was going to invite Hamster Chick to go and pay her way...but she did not invite me to go to the meet and greet in Provo, so she is a big loser!!! LOL

Last weekend we had a BBQ with my cute nephew Max and all of his in-laws. Now, I hate to brag...and I hate even worse to be a name dropper...but my nephew Max just happens to be the starting QB for BYU! Not only are we proud of him for that, but since he grew up in AZ., and we grew up in the hospital here, we missed most of the important events in his life, so we feel like since we went to BYU and love BYU, that we just as well make him think that we like him, so we support him and go to all of his games.

We really don't like him that much...he just has really good taste in women, and we love his wife! No really, he is a great guy and a really poor loser! Wheelchair Boy whipped his butt in Madden, and he cried!

Anyway, we had a great time a really fun dance off!

This is Kinz, Max's wife, doing her thing!

Kinz' mom...who is cute and SWEET (something I will NEVER be) used to own a dance studio, need I say more? Go Ness!

This is my mom, wearing my brand new apron from Anthro...doing I don't know what, but it was funny!!

Cute Sister doing her thing to "All The Single Ladies"...

Kinz' Baby Sister...so talented and sweet!

Ness and her man Jerry (with goofy Pitta looking over his shoulder!)

Mom and Ness

How cute is their nephew!

Kinz' bro and his wife

Dennis and Mataya Pitta

(yes...he can smile, and yes...he is mean to me!)

Pitta thinks I am old and lets me know it!

Wheelchair Boy begged to come home from the hospital early so we could have that party. He loves Max and no matter how uncomfortable he gets, or how bad he is hurting, he sticks it out for his boys! Yes, we bleed blue! I team has always been great to him and I really appreciate that which brings me to the point that I am still bitter Bryan Keihl is getting married. So hot that boy!

Wheelchair Boy...

2009-07-01T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'll be taking a break for about a week guys, Wheelchair Boy is in the hospital getting a new shunt...he has been sick for about a week now, and I'm just getting around to taking him in. What a good mother I am!

He hasn't been in the hospital for 2 years now, so we figure he need his 2000 mile oil, lube, and filter change!!! At least that is the story I'm telling Homer, I really just wanted to see my hot Neurosurgeon Dr. Peeps and his sassy little assistant Princess!

Don't worry...all will be well, Peeps will take good care of my boy and seriously...could my life really suck any more than it already does?

Signed,
Mrs. Jack Bauer or maybe Mrs. Michael Weston

Family...you gotta love 'em!

2009-06-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

This is a boring, serious post but this has been on my mind lately and I really need to vent.

Am I the only one that has a whacked out family? I mean seriously?

Yesterday I had to go to court with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and Baby Mama...they are looking at doing serious time on drug and gun(s) charge. Going into the courthouse, I think is enough to keep anyone straight.

I really did teach him well, but unfortunately, we does have his agency to choose (did I really vote for that)? Yes, I pray constantly and cry often for him and my grandchildren. Baby Mama has cleaned up and is doing great, is a wonderful mom and he is getting better every day.

OK, back to my story...he has some cousins (not to mention uncles and an aunt) who have gone the way of I-really-don't-know-what-to-call-it. More things happen to him in one week than I will ever see in my lifetime. These boys (cousins), hang out with bad people and do really dumb things.

Yesterday, for all of you Utahans, one of those boys robbed a Walgreen at gunpoint in Provo...all for Oxycontin, because he really has an addiction. In order to keep my sanity, all day long I kept saying..."it's a good day to be a Rader!"

Well it is amazing the comments that I have heard within the family and outside of it. Many of the members of this family have no tolerance for empathy for these boys! First of all, I am far from an enabler, but I do love these boys and I know that changes can be made. Yes, I do love to make fun of them and talk smack about them, but...I when I married Homer I knew that there were drug addicts in his family and I come from an addictive family myself, so I kinda knew what I was signing up for. Didn't quite think that MY sweet boy would be right there with them.

I welcome these delinquents into my home, (yes, I have all our drugs for Wheelchair Boy in a safe), and they will always be welcome unless they steal from us. They are family. Some members of our family won't allow them in their house, and that is their business, I don't judge.

My SIL and I were joking about changing our names, her to her maiden name me to Mrs. Jack Bauer, as we were talking about how dumb our nephew was. After that, I remembered how alone I felt in trying to deal with my child. My friends are VERY supportive, but hey, they all have perfect kids, and don't really know how I feel. When I talked to my other SIL and felt the hurt from her, I had to apologize for my Karma coming back and biting her in the butt!

Family. In our hardest and loneliest times, if we can't count on our family to love us no matter what, who can we count on? Friends come and go, but for most of us, family is always there, whacked as they are.

Yes, I will continue to love and hug on these loser boys, and yes, I will continue to talk smack about them on my blog, but I do care about what happens to them, worry about them, and will always pray for them, and continue to not give them money. Why? 'Cuz that's what I signed up for.

Yes...it is a good day to be a Rader.

I got an Award!!!

2009-06-26T09:30:00.001-07:00

I got an award from Sandra at http://worldsendfarmthisandthat.blogspot.com/and feel so lucky!! I wish I could figure out how to put it on my side bar but I am side bar retarded. The rules are, I have to tell seven things about myself, I think seven things that nobody knows, and send this to seven people.

Well the problem is my life is pretty much an open book, I do have a big mouth and just say it, so I will try and make something up, then it is up to you to figure out is it is a lie or not! (hee hee hee)! Here goes:

1. I lost about 135 lbs. a couple of years ago. Yes a was a really fat girl, now I am just a fat girl!

2. I do not have a lot of self confidence...for example: my Psycho Sister told me a quilt I was making was the ugliest thing she had ever seen! I put it down and never picked it up again. That was two years ago! I had 3 rows to sew on to finish it. Well I did finish it this week and it is beautiful! Why do I do that?

3. I am a CSI, Forensic Files, anything to do with that kind of stuff. I feel a need to know there are people out there who have crappy lives too!

4. I worry way too much, so I don't watch the news. If I do, I can't sleep. If someone gets killed in a car wreck, I stress over it and their families. Ironic huh? (see #3) "TV" doesn't seems as real as the news to me. Also, this is one of the 100 reasons the bishop would never make me R.S. Prez., I would die of a heart attack worrying about other people.

5. I weed high maintenance people out of my life... (See #2) I don't need mean thoughtless people in my life...I've got family to do that.

6. I could never live without my Homer. Don't tell him I said that because he thinks if he dies on me I will marry either Jack Bauer or Jack Sparrow immediately. And if he leaves me, he's taking the kids!

7. Deep down, I am a spiritual person, but don't like people to know it. Hard shell, Soooo much better!

OK, not many people that are close to me (as in proximity) read this except Cute Sister and Crazy Cousin, and they already know what a fruitcake I am, so do NOT tell anyone about this!!! Especially #7, because I swear I will deny it!

THANKS SANDRA FOR MAKING ME BARE MY SOUL!!!

So here are my 7 people...(drum roll please!):

Banter, Buffoonery & Bloggy Blather
it's not as easy as it looks
Kingdom of the Princess
The (Trailer) Parks Farm
Protect & Provide
FINALLY!!!!
Is It Just Me?

I tried to pick people that have not been chosen before, this award has gone around I see, and also people who would answer it!

I just wanted to say Thank you so much to Cute Sister. On Monday, she surprised me and took me to a spa day at Green Valley Ranch. Have you ever had a hot rock massage? Oh. My. Gosh.
It was orgasmic! We then layed out at the pool all day and watched people (my favorite thing to do) then in for a facial. Yes, I do look 10 years younger, if only to myself. And don't worry, there will be no pictures. After that, on the way home we went to Red Mango!!! She did not even make me run for it ! (This time anyway)

Sometimes it is hard to express to someone how much you love them and how much an act of kindness has touched you. Yes, she knows how much I needed that day, with family stress and all, but she has no idea HOW much it meant to me. I think I will forgive her for being cute and skinny, and for making me run before I got a Red Mango. Well, I have to forgive her, she is my hairdresser. That could me ugly.

Oopie, you were so inspired! Thank you. I Love You.

Poor M.J.!!!

2009-06-25T15:59:00.000-07:00

I went on a retreat for quilting of course and Wheelchair Boy got sick...first time in 2 1/2 years...I just told someone that so I am sure I jinxed myself! Anyway I had to come home 3 days early so I am bitter of course.

Anyway back to Michael Jackson!!!

I am so worried about my really good friend Kristina...she LOVES Michael Jackson and she is going to be so sad!!! So EVERYONE...please go to her blog at/http://adamandkristinapulsipher.blogspot.com/, and give your condolences to her. I'm not sure she will come back from this. She was there for his trial...front and center...and has never wained in her support, so let's support K.P.!!!

Deep thoughts...

2009-06-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

When we travel, I try to think of ways to torture my children in the car so by passers won't see and judge me for being a mean mom and call CPS, so...I make them listen to seventies music!!!Full. Blast.

Homer and I sing at the top of our lungs just to really top it off and embarrass them. I remember knowing and singing to all the songs of the sixties and seventies growing up, knowing every word. Well, here we are singing along, and we listen to them alot so McFly has learned some of the words, and we are singing along to the song "Chevy Van" and McFly is singing also.

Have you paid attention to the words of the songs you grew up with!!!! Oh. My. Gosh!!! I was embarrassed!!! Was I stupid growing up? Did I just not pay attention to the words that I sang and just got into the music, or was I that naive that I don't know what it all meant?

We are talking about a guy who picks up a hitch hiker in his van and saying she has the face of an angel and tan legs and he is fantasizing about her while she sleeps and when she wakes up "she took me by the hand and we made love in my chevy van and that's alright with me".

It kind of takes you back when your children are listening to this stuff (although I will admit the song really takes me back in time), and then the next song..."One Toke Over The Line"...HELLO!!! what kind of crap are we listening to? And why do we call it "great music" when it's our stuff and garbage when it's their stuff? Do they listen to the words? I don't think I really did growing up, I just got into the tunes.

So...I'm a hypocrite, sue me. What do ya'll think? Am I going to hell and will you guys be there with me? I would enjoy the company...

Big Trauma!!!

2009-06-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

We have had a serious trauma in our lives this week so I have been unable to post. Well here goes...

Wheelchair Boys' 65" big screen TV is broken...I know! IT is terrible! How would you like to lay in bed day in and day out with nothing to do! So me, being the selfish, I mean SELFLESS mother that I am...was forced to give up my computer screen for him. I Know! It is terrible!

Hopefully the guy will come back with the part tomorrow and WB is asleep right now, so I was able to steal a few minutes blogging. I miss you guys! I love to read your blogs and realize that your lives are just as pathetic as mine. Makes me feel good...just sayin'...

Second of all, my yorkie is in heat the the mastiff is going nuts! He corners her and she barks at him and bites him! It is kinda funny! He whines and cries and won't eat 'cuz he can't get himself a little somethin'-somethin'...I know! It's terrible! Typical male huh?!!

Also, this is to the chucklehead that suggested that I read the book "Miss Delacourt"...What the flagnon!!!??
I can diss Miss Heidi 'cuz she doesn't read this blog...so here goes...Very good book..well written, the girl has talent! BUTTT.....what the heck?!!! No smut? None? What is that all about Miss Heidi? I'm all alone on my B-day, feeling sorry for myself, thinkin' I would read me a smut novel...and low and behold...NO SMUT!!!! So now what...I can recommend this book to all of our Young Women? This is so going to kill my highly prized rebellious rep I've got going...(Just kidding Miss Heidi...but you could have at least thrown me a bone on my first historical novel!)

We have also had our grandkids since Friday...I am way too old to be a grandma! We took them to church Sunday, (they don't go), and after the Sacrament song (I Stand All Amazed), the boy yells at the top of his lungs "I want you people to stop singing" Oh it is so funny when you are not the mom!!

Also this is a HUGE SHOUT OUT to all of you young mothers...Princess PePe had an earache and was up all night crying...I had forgotten how hard the no sleep thing was! Admire ya...don't envy ya...just sayin'...

P.S. Read Miss Delacourt...but don't Miss Heidi I said so...

Yeah ME!!!!

2009-06-08T16:57:00.001-07:00

I just read on K.P.'s blog... (See the post below) that I won a CD from the cute running skinny chick!!! Yeah me!!!

I has been a long week and I am so tired! I had to travel far, far, away...and care for my FIL while my BIL and Shoe Girl are at Disney World with their little darlings. Grandpa and I (we will call him Grandpa 'cuz, well gee...that's what my kids call him so EVERYONE calls him Grandpa.

Anyway...Grandpa is 84 and not doing so great, so I went to spent 3 days with him and ended up staying a week, I did have to spend my birthday alone, and I can live with that, because I had a GREAT lunch date with my new BBFF's Shelle and April, but I am bitter...I missed Phantom with Homer, so he took McFly!!! My 11yr old! Now you see why I'm bitter!? 8th row..in the middle...but she did LOVE it and was very grateful!

And besides that...right now I am watching Homer do PX90!!!! And I'm not doing it!!! He wouldn't let me take a picture of him, but I will another day...trust me! It will be worth it!!! Wheelchair Boy just said "that's not a workout! That's a freak show!!"

Below is the little dinky house I had to stay in with grandpa and 4 dogs.

I could not even pee without them following me! Don't tell Shoe Girl I told you this, but she spoon feeds her Yorkie, so guess who had to do that! Yep I sure did! Homer told me the only reason I was going to spoon feed that dog is so that I could blog about it! (well...he was kinda right!)

I would like to thank my mama for watching MY kids so I could take care of grandpa.

My niece Ames and her fam came from Penn. to visit, and there are all my nieces at our party! The one in the yellow graduated from high school today...Congrats!

I will do a better post tomorrow...but I HAD to do a photo of my first born...this is the first time I have seen him smile in 5 years...sad, but very true!

Comment for K.P.

2009-05-23T09:41:00.000-07:00

I wanted to leave a really long comment on K.P. blog at/http://adamandkristinapulsipher.blogspot.com/, she just cracks me up! But this subject is something I have a problem with...so go and read her post about Pretty Woman 'cause it is too funny. Go and read it before you read this...GO!

Are you back? Did you leave a comment? She is a comment whore you know! GO!

NOW are you back? Heeelarious huh? Now enough about her 'cause we all know that it is all about me! ME ME ME!!!

So...a couple of years ago we went to Lake Tahoe for a week, guys golfed, we shopped, and of course. Well my Shoe Girl, (my SIL) and I were shopping and she smiled at a guy. Needless to say...he followed us around, first the store, then from shop to shop. At first it was funny, then it started to get kind of scary. Finally we got in the car, and we lost him, we thought! We went into a store to get a diet coke and he followed us in. Well HER in!

By this point I was way creeped out and had the guy at the counter call the cops. They came and hand cuffed the guy, questioned him, blah, blah, blah. She Girl was pretty scared.

While the officer was talking to us, I asked him why I didn't get a stalker. I never get a stalker unless it is a bill collector or repo man! That darn cop did not even offer to frisk me! What does a girl have to do to get frisked?!

At the airport? No, just take your shoes off. Pulled over for speeding? No...just your license! Do I look that homely and molly that cops don't even feel the need to pat me down?

Now granted, Shoe Girl is hot, 'course she is WAY younger than I, like about 2 or 3 years...but seriously? I can't even get the valet guy at the mall to frisk me!

So K.P...it must be tough to be super hot, your stalkers and all. The only males that follow me around are related and just want money.

Do I have to take a sharp object to the airport? Sewing scissors? Crochet hook?

Not having Superhotism is not as fun as you think! We may get all the movie roles of homely mothers and stuff, but we can't even get frisked for smuggling candy into the theater!

What is wrong here?

Now don't get me wrong...I don't WANT to be stalked, I just want to be hot enough to BE stalked...without the creepy guy. Is that too much to ask?

Oh and for all of you that went/read/heard conference...I have to teach Jeffery R. Holland's talk. Any thoughts? Before tomorrow? E-mail me...thanks.

All Hail the Writers!

2009-05-15T00:42:00.000-07:00

I have noticed a reoccurring theme the last couple of weeks on several posts that I have been stalking...mainly about how bloggers love to write! Some majored in journalism, some do it for a hobby, others do it as journal entries...and then there is me.

I was trying to figure out why I do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah...kind of a journal entry I guess, I did want to share photos with friends and relatives far way. (not you Crash...unless you have been in prison...you will just have to stay on the friends side and stay off the deadbeat fence!) Well, I have found that I am really not very funny, not like K.P. or quirky like Crash or hot like Shelle...and I could go on and on. However, I did realize that I do do an awful lot of b---hing, complaining, moaning, whining, and just plain venting. Am I a downer? Am I as depressing and pathetic as I seem? I have no talent at this writing thing...but I do enjoy it, and I love to read all of your stuff!

Do I really have to find a lost puppy? Can I trade in one of my kids for a puppy? I don't even get a good vacay! Our vaycays consist of BYU football games (go cougars!) but seriously...how sad is that? Don't make me start being all spiritual and faking like I could do a post like that!

Well...I guess I will continue to write about Homer and McFly...and no she has no clue where her nick name comes from, she is way too blonde to figure that out! Oh, by the way Inmate #666 wasn't even offended about his nickname, he was ticked about his lousy photo! He thought maybe some hot blogger would want to look him up and he didn't like his smile...oh...the naive-ness of non-bloggers! I told him that was the least of his worries!

So guys, keep making me laugh, keep humoring me and fake like ya'll like me!! And I will try and get a picture of Scary Shorts Guy, who walks his dogs up my street everyday! THAT will make you laugh...

Welcome Home Jail Bird!

2009-05-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

This is my BIL...let's call him...Inmate #666, got out of prison on Tuesday. He had only been in about 18 months, (second stint) but to my MIL, he is the chosen one! Now, he is a lot of fun, loves my kids immensely, used to be a crack head, and is only 47 yrs old!!!

Don't cha just love the white beard?

The lady at Von's grocery store made this...we didn't have much to work with.

We only get together as a Rader family when we have to, so he was grateful!
This is so my life...

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day everyone, hope it is all you desire, except my mom...who wrote an anonymous message on my last post! She eludes to the fact that I inherited my "bad mother" qualities from her! Oh please! I earned those qualities all on my own thank-you-very-much! I have the gray hairs and the He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named to prove it! Hey I bought you a cake now be nice!!!
Jules...for you!

P.S. Parenting from the Trenches
Do you have a child who lies, steals, sneaks, stalks, hordes, chatters non-stop, or urinates in places other than the potty, etc?! Check out this blog!

http://lisajordanpuddin.blogspot.com/2009/05/woo-hoo.html

Do they love me in spite of me?

2009-05-05T09:03:00.001-07:00

First of all...let's get the blackmail off my back. I keep getting threatened about our little Easter tragedy. So let's just put all the cards on the table. I KNOW that I am not a good mother so don't threaten me!

This is McFlys' Easter basket.

And this is McFly just as happy as can be! I bought the candy and crap, I just forgot to put it in the baskets with the cute grass and stuff the you vacuum up for months afterward. A cardboard box? Seriously? It didn't look that bad at the moment, but I will admit...not so good now.

I told her that I forgot to put them in baskets (as she was sitting there all dressed and ready for church) and she just rolled her eyes at me. Rolled her eyes? Where does she get this stuff?

At least Wheelchair Boy got a Tupperware bowl. A big one too...just sayin'...

This photo is just funny. He falls asleep everyday watching T.V. Here he is asleep with his only working finger still on the remote! Gotta love that sweet boy!

I can't keep going on about all my motherly sins, so back to the reason for this post. Now...I KNOW my one and only Homer loves me more than anything (except maybe golf...oh...and football...oh!...and the kids!) BUT! He committed the very worst of sins. Worse than cheating on me! The hurt from this is too deep to even explain!

See this?

This is probably THE LAST box of Sugar Free Snackwell's Shortbread Cookies in the U.S. of A.!

I order some from my friendly neighborhood Albertson's and got the last 3 cases from Nabisco that there was. They don't make them anymore...and this is my last box! I have been savoring these puppies sloooooowly!

My second to the last box was opened, and I was partaking in long intervals, and then it happened! One of Wheelchair Boy's friends came over to visit and brought his girlfriend. (This is a great 21yr old kid that lives down the street). Now please note that I love him to death. He comes and plays Madden with the Boy, takes him to the movies and just hangs out with him in between classes and work when he has time. So sweet and caring...I just love him...BUT...NOT enough to share my second-to-the-last box of cookies!

They were watching a movie and Homer gave them my cookies! I didn't know till the next day! I don't know that I can forgive him! And he rolled his eyes at me! Where do they get this? Is nothing sacred anymore? He won't even say he is sorry...he thinks I am petty! Hummp! Whatever. I can be petty if I want. I have not had sugar in over 5 years. I love those cookies and I am bitter that they quit making them. I need them. I love them. I want more!

OK, I feel better. So look at this cute baby quilt I made for the cutest little redheaded boy in our ward!

So easy! It is a Thimble Blossoms pattern.

How cute and squishy is he! His 2 brothers and sister call me Grandma Carrot. I just love them!

Which brings me to the point that I miss my grandbabies somethin' fierce. Maybe if they were here, I would have made better Easter baskets!

Just sayin'...

It's Friday!

2009-05-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last couple of days in St. George trying to be a good mormon and quilt with my friends, because I have no talent and am not a "crafty" little mormon girl. It was good to have girl time and relax and not have anyone call me mom...except Wheelchair Boy did call me 17 times yesterday. At least one of my spawn likes me! He is the good child you know.

While I was there, I figures since I was the only one in the world not reading Miss Delacourt or anything by David Sedaris, I bought them. And yes, I did buy the book "Naked" just for the name of it. I'm only a couple of chapters in but it is hilarious! Does this mean I'm in with the the cool people?

Also, check out my BFF (whether she likes it our not) Shelle at BlokThoughts, her post on Dirty Little Secrets is too fun, and you can leave your secrets anonymously! But go ahead and leave your name...we won't judge...maybe laugh, but not judge!

OK, enough about the hot girl, 'cause it's all about me don't cha know! I wanted to show you a photo of a quilt I did for Wheelchair Boys' Neurosurgeon Dr. Peoples. I call him "Peeps" 'cause he has saved the boys' life so many times, I feel I have earned the right to call him names! OK, history...Peeps is a Einstein fanatic and has been collecting tee shirts since college and I took them all a made a quilt!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...it only took me two years but at least I finished it which is more than I can say for anything else I ever do.

This is Peeps and his Assistant Khyla, whom I love ssssooooo much 'cause she always laughs at my jokes!

For all you quilters, PLEASE don't enlarge this and look at all my mistakes cause it was done completely out of love, and I mean love! He is the greatest surgeon ever, an honest and upstanding guy, and dang cute on top of that! Oh, and he makes me laugh...

Motherhood?

2009-04-27T22:20:00.000-07:00

It's been another long week at the zoo, McFly hates me and makes sure that I know it every minute of everyday...but help is on the way! I have an appointment with a Neuropsychologist, so at least she can tell me if I am raising a Sociopath or not!

I had to teach RS yesterday at our church, and I went early to talk to the Bishop and of course he was out of town! Next thing I know...Guy-On-The-Corner who is in my ward asks me how I am and I burst into tears! Now...I pride myself on being known as the chick with no heart or feelings...and I am crying like a little girl! Hello! Uncomfortable! Not only for me but for him as well! Not only does he think we are THE white trash of the neighborhood...he now is feeling sorry for Homer thinking that he has a total basket case for a wife! And to top it all off...he was very nice to me, gave me good advice, AND didn't make fun of me or roll his eyes at me once (that I could see anyway)!

Then to make things worse...he has really good kids and a great wife, so now they both are going to know how pathetic I am...and I swear if he tells one person that I am really a big baby, I will toilet paper his perfectly manicured lawn! I will, I will!

How Homer puts up with me I will never know! I hate that he is a better mother than I am...but hey...I can yell, and he never does unless it is in some kind of sports...never loses his cool, and is never down. Me on the other hand, I internalize everything! So glad he keeps me in check...but he can't cook worth crap!

So let this be a warning to all of you...do not tell anyone that I am sensitive or that I care about anyone...cause I don't...seriously...

It's Official!

2009-04-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Well...it is official! I am a bad mother! I know, I know...you are all surprised to find out this little tidbit of info, but it is true! McFly dropped the birth mother card on me! She is 11 yrs old and has known who her birth mother was for about...3 months! Plus...the woman died last summer and she has only met her 3 or 4 times!

Seriously? At least when my other kids hated me I could at least tell them I gave birth to them and was in labor for like 6 days! Ok, 4 hours, but that is not the point! They were stuck with me! McFly wants to go live with her birth grandparents now because I made her do her homework...noooo...no History Genius' for me Crash! It is so not fair!

Should I lock her in her room for the rest of her life or will CPS come after me? And do I care? I'm just sayin...

Serious Post...Seriously...

2009-04-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

Does anyone out there have experience with RAD? (Reactive Attachment Disorder) I have read about 5 books, been to every web site, so I want to know if anyone has close experience with this little problem of mine! Please e-mail me...before I have to start taking drugs, 'cause they are not working on McFly!

Check this out...

2009-04-10T10:08:00.000-07:00

After I wrote my post (see below) I read another lil sister blog...this chicky-poo is funny...check her out! BlokThoughts

Ginormous Dilemma!

2009-04-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have a huge decision to make! I am thinking of changing Cute Sisters name to Mean Sister!

Now, here she is with Wheelchair Boy, she is very good to him and loves him lots, so that is a plus. The other day I called her (she lives about 20 minutes away) and told her I was having a bad day and I needed a Red Mango. So, if you have every HAD a yogurt from Red Mango, you know what I am talking about! She laughed at me...LAUGHED!

Well, as I was finishing a quilt I was making...in walks little sister. Did I mention that little sister is 21 years younger than I am? Psycho Sister was the youngest and she was 17 when Cute Sister was born...I still have nightmares when I think about my parents doing...well you know...

Back to my dilemma, lil' sis walks in with a Red Mango! I have never felt such joy! I reached for it with tears in my eyes...then...here it comes...she tells me I have to go for a walk first! A WALK! Not only a walk a really, really FAST walk! She made me walk 2 and1/2 miles really fast as she literally jogged circles around me...literally!! Does it get any meaner? My poor 51 year old legs were like jelly! Did I mention that she is, like, skinny...and cute...and works out everyday? I really kind of hate her! For her being cute and skinny and all...I'm just sayin'...

THEN...as I am trying to forgive her...she calls me and says..."He went to Jared's!" WHAT THE FLAGNON! Yes people...Guitarman went to Jared's for their 5th anniversary! Diamond necklace, ring, and bracelet! Rubbin' THAT in my 27 married years face! Homer hasn't ever been to Jared's! (OK in his defense...I did get a beautiful Vintage wedding ring for my 25th, but that wouldn't make my story very good now would it?)

So what do yo think? Should I change her name?

Conference Weekend Guilt

2009-04-07T10:14:00.001-07:00

Is it just me? Am I the only one that feels guilt after watching conference? Is it possible to feel so lifted up and so much sorrow at the same time? I really don't think that it is meant that way. It seems like one talk is given that gets me all rev'ed up then BAM! the next one comes and I want to crawl in a hole. I would like to take this moment to thank my Ma for having the guilt gene ingrained in me forevermore. I'm just sayin'...

It is amazing how strong your testimony can grow listening to the council of the Prophet. Don't you just love Pres. Monson?! Even my spawn enjoyed it! I wish He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless could have heard what was said. It would have been good for him to know that he is not alone and his life will not get better until he pulls his head out! Again...I'm just sayin'...

In a small way, I am greatful for that guilt gene, (in a small way) I guess it does keep me on the straight and narrow, well...it doesn't KEEP me there, me testimony keeps me there, but the guilt gene does give a much needed kick in the pants when I seem to get into life's little ruts. Elder Anderson said "The keeping of testimonies in these days will be a badge of honor through all the eternities", what a great thing that is! I hope that I am wearing that badge of honor, but I am sure that I will be so humble that I will not see it! I can't let you all think that I am going soft! That I am spiritual! I can't have that now can I!!!

Phoenix Trip

2009-03-29T16:34:00.000-07:00

OK...Kristina P., here I am updating...(check out her blog, it's freakin' funny but don't tell her I said that, she gets a big head...and she hates Edward...and I finally saw the movie and I did like it although I will never admit to it. Wheelchair boy watched it 4 times in 2 days...so I am now an expert on it and I have to say I am a James fan...he likes to play with his food and so do I!!!

It has been a LLLOOOONNNGGGGG week...I jacked my back up and was laid up for a couple of days and still had to help my Ma move to her new apartment. (insert whine here), then we went to Phoenix to see Princess PePe and The Boy.

As we were in the car I was taking pics, trying to get to know my camera. This is part of the new bridge...do ya think ya want to drive over this when it is done?

NOt looking so safe to me!!

Creepy?

More creepy?

Great sculpture

Look how much to water line has dropped!

Wheelchair Boy in the front seat...am I not supposed to be second in command?

McFly in the very back. We got a new Durango with 3 seats so I wouldn't have to sit with her (Miss OCD)!! She was STILL trying to rearrange my seat and put everything up with me so her area would be clean!

When we got to Glendale, or where ever we were, Baby Mama and the kids met us at the motel and we went to Peter Piper Pizza (kid's choice),

and me being the good grammy that I am...had to deal with it!

Chicken Nuggets (pretty good too) 'cause The Boy "I don't like pizza, I only like chicken nuggets"...

Nasty Pizza

The Boy coming out of the play tunnels

All I could think about was all of the germs, snot, and who knows what on all of the toys! It was really creeping me out! How often do you think they clean those things?

Wheelchair Boy dong what he always does, respecting his MaMa!

After we ate we went to the high class toy store Wal-Mart to take the kids birthday shopping. When they turn 3, we take them to the store and what ever they can carry to the register, they get to keep. We do it at 3 because they haven't quite figured out the electronics department yet.

The Boy got 2 monster cars and a big wheel

Princess PePe's birthday was the week before, so she got herself a princess bike

She rode her bike through the store (only a grandma would let a kid do that!) and he pushed his goods down the isle while we video taped it!

This is our very nice checker-outer lady!

Homer was trying to put the big wheel together with no tools...The Boy was so excited and so patient...a trait he did NOT get from his father...

Can you believe how many extra parts they put in boxes of toys? I tried to tell Homer that I think they went somewhere, but NNNOOOOOOOO!!!

The kids stayed in the motel with us, he talks in his sleep and fell off the bed twice without waking up and PePe snores...

Look at this!!! Ramada Inn! This is our shower in the handicap room! And it leaked all night long!

I took a shower with flip flops on.

Princess PePe had a soccer game and Baby Mama is getting her ready

Wheelchair Boy is so excited!

Homer tried to get her on the field and she would not go and play! She is so stubborn!

The Boy was happy!

Here I am trying to pay her to play...

She did go out and cheer in the end!

After that we went and saw Monster's vs Aliens...too funny! I highly recommend it for kids and adults...

Road Trip

2009-03-16T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have been on a road trip, I had to go to Utah to a funeral, Mrs Hayes a teacher I had a kabillion years ago. She was a Home Ec teacher and I really loved that woman! We had a class once about birth defects and drugs and big mouth me piped up and said,

"I would love to have a handicapped child, I hope I have one!"

Well, as we all know...that one came back to bite me in the butt!

I have thought about her everyday for 22 years and called an old friend about a month ago and found out she had moved to Vernal, Utah. I never did get her address...I wanted to write and tell her how much she meant to me, how much of an impact she has had on my life and I never did! So...if any of you have anyone in your life like that write that note NOW!!!

Here are a couple of my old friends, with psycho sister on the left end...in Wranglers no less.

I had to drive 2 days in an extremely SMALL SUV, and it got smaller by the minute! I told Homer that I was going to kill her and bury her body off the side of the road! I thought about it, but I did not want to be in prison with with my relatives!

We did have to stop at every Maverick convenience store on the way up to find me a new White Trash Cup. It is a nice bright orange, it's the one on the far left. It's a nice 52 ouncer...

The big one is 120 ouncer! It is very white trash and I got it in Logandale is any of you all want one. I tried to find a bright green one 'cause Teta has one and I have to copy her, I'm just sayin'...

Last week Wheelchair boy and I went with Teta to Extreme Makeover Home Edition, they are here in Vegas! I will post on it later, the big reveal is tomorrow and he was invited...I just get to go because I am the driver! He watches every episode on every channel so we watch it several times a day. It was pretty exciting for him, therefore...exciting for me!

So write that note to someone you love and I will never get all sappy on you again...

Pity Party is Over!!

2009-03-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been on a pity party for 2 weeks now and no one is feeling sorry for me but me! Teta and Nuts both told me to suck it up and get over myself, so I did. Well, I didn't but I'm saying I did. I finally finished Shoe Girl's cabinet! My mom hates it , she said it still looks old! I tried to explain to her that that was the point!

This is our white trash yard. We pulled our dead tree out and planted 2 semi dead trees in it's place.

My daffodils came up!!!

We put in a new walk way for all of our white trash friends that constantly walk on our dead lawn. How rude! Do you notice how straight it is not?

These are our stupid white trash dogs! All they do is eat, drool, and bark!

Someday we will fix up this side of our yard, so you see Moby peeing on everything? I hate it!Good thing the Yorkie keeps those Mastiffs in line!

Maybe we will get the Christmas in the attic tonight...oh wait! Is there ANY kind of a game on tonight? Cause if there is... nothing will get done!

I did get tagged by my EX-EBFF Farm girl, so let me figure out how to get all my Jacks on that island and I will be there honey!!!

P.S. Denial is still working for me...

Oblivion

2009-02-17T10:03:00.000-08:00

Well, Satan is alive and well and masquerading as a filthy rich black woman with really great skin. Yes, I have said it...Oprah is Satan. All of the things that I have always loved doing, I can no longer do because of Oprah.

I loved going to movies...then Satan does a germ show and now I am all freaked out about feces getting in my hair at the theater. In all the (few) times I have gone in the last couple of years, I take my Germ-X wipes and wipe down the whole chair including the cloth seat, not that it helps, but it does make me feel better.

I can't touch stair rails, elevator buttons, etc...I could go on forever and have passed this fun trait onto Scooter...not that he isn't a freak already!!!

What about the Mom jeans?

Maybe I LIKE this look...

maybe I LOOK better in this look...

Maybe I don't WANT to look like this...maybe I don't like my undies to show, or my butt crack when I bend over...or...just maybe...I already look like this.

Let's talk about the bras...I remember the days when I was comfortable in my wrong sized, old, worn bras...but NO!!!! I have to go and buy the $80 "Oprah" bra just because she has it on her favorite things show and everybody got one so I wanted one! I have never been so uncomfortable in my whole life!!!

Is she comfortable or not?

Maybe this chick liked her overflowing boobage!

I am sick of Satan's minions also...especially the one pretending to be one Dr. Oz. Do I really have to look at my poop to see if it is "S" shaped? Seriously?

I have decided to cast Satan off of my High Def DVR and never feel guilty again. I have trashed the "Oprah " bra, never to be worn again!!! I will eat butter! I will not stress about germs (really?), and I will keep drinking my Diet Coke! I will not let my underwear hang out of my jeans!!! Are you with me?!!! Seriously...are you with me?

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

2009-02-14T09:56:00.000-08:00

I've decided that I want Pink to be my Valentine...because I want to be her when I grow up. I love her. She probably has a plumber. And she doesn't have kids. And she is just hot. And not old...like me...

Homer did fix the sink yesterday, and it only has 2 leaks. We know have a big pan under the sink instead of cleaning products. Lucky me. Does this mean I don't have to clean anymore? That's what I get for snagging me a CPA instead of a plumber.

Homer took me to dinner for Valentine's Day last night (since Pink has blocked my calls) and to see Danny Gans. Pretty entertaining, (Thanks Uncle Juan!) We also went to the buffet at the Wynn. Tell me, what happened to the good old days of $4.99 buffets? $39.99!!! What the hell! I can't eat $39.99 worth of food! Homer had to get his money's worth though! Only 12 huge crab legs to start...

Anyway, Wheelchair Boy asked Homer for his permission to ask me to be his Valentine since he didn't have one...talk about sweet! That would break my heart if I had one! What great thing did I do in the pre-existence to deserve him?

Pay it forward

2009-02-12T14:39:00.000-08:00

The Rules1. Be one of the first Three (3) bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.
2. Winners, you must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift for the first 3 bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!
3. The gift that you send to your three Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!
4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love!If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Please take the button and post it on your blog; start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!

Amy made me do this! Since I am not handy or crafty, I will make a macaroni necklace like Ames! Or maybe I will make a kilt for my new BFF Kristina P. or maybe not..

Tamale Thursday

2009-02-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

It is official again...not only are we still white trash, soon I will be shaving my chin every morning with Homer...

2009-02-10T21:00:00.000-08:00

Homer here.....what the #$@%!!! I put a temporary fix on the stinkin kitchen faucet (that Nancy broke) to give the little "WENCH" some access to water for a couple days until the new part comes in so I can fix the little fella on the cheap (instead of spending 150 large for a new matching faucet SET) and do I get a "thanks...You da man" maybe a little "thanks for the temporary fix, somebody gonna be gettin some sugar tonight." Noooooooooooo, I get mocked, belittled, and humiliated (which is tough to do to me since I am basically shameless). I telling you that this is the last time I come running to HER rescue. Don't even try to appologize and suck up to me - its to late and I really mean it.....unless you do some really serious suckin up (like maybe a homemade rubarb pie with the lard crust or something big like that). Action is the only thing that can save you now babygirl.

White Trash Tuesday

2009-02-10T14:15:00.000-08:00

Spring is coming to my house!

Anyways, we are once again officially white trash! You know, after 27 years of marriage, I have gotten used to growing the wheatgrass...one my window sills, in my fridge, even in my oven, but look at the faucet in the kitchen!

It was broken at the Sunday night widow's dinner,

(this is the start of Homer's wheatgrass)

THIS!!! This is what Homer did to my faucet until the part comes 'cause he was too cheap to buy a new one!!! Oh yeah...white trash at it's best! I got the white trash big dogs, white trash yard, blah, blah, blah...this is what I get for living in a trailer at BYU (married student housing), and they tore it down so I have no proof that it was student housing!

Last weekend we went to St. George for Juan's birthday bash and stayed one night at the Seven Wives Inn. (Thanks Miss Shoes!) It was great, and if you have never stayed there, you should sometime. The owners are a wonderful young couple and GREAT cooks. Be sure and have the baked oatmeal for breakfast...when Homer kicks, I want to marry the cook!

Me...asleep

Julia Room...they are all named after the wives!

Beautiful!

OK, so, I did have a seriously traumatic event happen to me.

Now, I am not a vain person, (OK, so yes I am, but...) I lost my make-up bag out of my purse somewhere around all those Mormons in St. George! Gone! Every lipstick, gloss and liner I owned...all M.A.C. I might add...so I am walking around looking dead! 50 and looking dead...never mind I am almost there, but it is a sin to look it...like I don't have enough problems as it is...

Still a loser Tuesday!

2009-01-27T09:22:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been reading blogs this morning, yes, (I am a little addicted to them), but yet again I have learned something about myself. I am not very bright...I know, I know, you are all surprised, but it is true! I am not a proficient writer, babble a lot, and don't make much sense most of the time, and I don't have any give aways, but hey, menopause sucks, what can I say!

This year is flying by already so here are some pics for all to see.

These are aprons Nuts made for us for Christmas...aren't they fab?

Homer, me, Teta and Jeb at the temple with Cuter Sister

Homer trying to tell Max how to play football

So glad my Bro made time for the trip!

McFly and Kinz

Taking my babies to church

Love these spoiled things!

Last week Baby Mama and the kids went to Phoenix for a couple of months to visit her sis, I will miss them so much!!

I also poked myself in the eye (told you I wasn't very bright), very painful and it bled but Homer LET me go to Pine Valley quilting anyway. Yes, yes, you all know how much I love that word LET, because I am a submissive wife, and he so graciously let me go!!! Isn't he a good patriarch?

On the drive up, we got stuck in the snow, dang those Vegas tires, and Bon's hubby had to pull us out with a back hoe!!

The road!

Bon is busy sewing!

This is Bon's humble little so-called-cabin that we stayed in...about 5 times as big as our humble abode. She was a wonderful and gracious hostess! Thanks Bon!

I remember this little church in Pine Valley from when a was a little girl (long time ago), it hasn't changed a bit! I still love this historic building!

It was a great trip and later I will post pics of things I did not finish...'cause I am a starter and not a finisher!

Wheelchair Boy only called me 11 times, I couldn't get service and he was not happy that he couldn't talk to me...he doesn't really want me, he just likes all of us home all the time...

Totally Loser Tuesday

2009-01-13T08:40:00.001-08:00

Why am I such a big loser when it comes to being GREEN? Why can't I recycle? Why can't I stop the wastefulness as in garbage? I watched that Oprah episode on waste! I do really well for about a month then I get tired of all the dishes and then go back to the paper plates...I crush my cans for about 2 months and then just through them away...I am burning my paper stuff in the fireplace, but then again, doesn't that hurt the air quality? I can not handle this much stress! It is all too much for my little pea brain to handle...

Why am I such a loser! Isn't it enough that I try so hard to be spiritual, like I'm not already failing at that! I'm trying to be a good mormon mommy, strike #2, I'm trying to be a good sister, strike #3, loser! Shall we go on to 4, 5,.....on and on and on!!!

No I'm not on a pity party just hyperventilating about my ungreenness!!! I mean really, I still buy water in plastic bottles! Landfills are filled with my diapers of...like forever now!

I know that it is baby steps, but come on, really, how hard can it be? Why does my psycho brain complicate things for me??

Come Again Monday!!!

2009-01-05T08:56:00.000-08:00

Back to school....Yeah!!! I thought I was going to kill myself! It has been a long holiday and for those of you who don't think that I am capable of taking down Christmas...it is down! It has only been up for going on two years! So there you are...down and ALL the boxes up in the attic, even the ones on the back patio!!!

So, I just want to say how much I loathe Ames. She has turned into my mother! Who else can dig the guilt into your bones with a blunt object, making the pain last forever...like a week...or so!
Ames and her stupid new year rez's or however you spell it!? So guilt me on Ames!!!!

My goals for this year will be minimal because with my life I have to take one day at a time so that I don't get too stressed and go all Santa-at-a-Christmas-Eve-Party on everyone! (don't think I didn't think about it!)

I decided that I would set a goal of trying to wash my face every night. Lame huh? Well it's hard for me!!! I'm old you know!

Next...I am going to go on a budget...I gotta...Homer is stressed so I am stressed.

Then...I will try and finish 4 quilts this year...not much I know but big for me since I am a starter and a... finisher? Not so much...

And the same ol' same ol'...I need to be more spiritual! Me and TeTa are GOING to go to the shinden (that's temple in Japanese) once a month...we can do it punkin!!!! Then of course Homer and I will go once a month also...(WOW! I can feel myself rising up off the ground already!!!) BaaHH!!!

Don't you all roll your eyes at me!! My mama's will slap you!!!

Thanks for the SHOVE Ames...see you next weekend! Love you!

Merry After Christmas!

2008-12-30T13:08:00.000-08:00

Two of my nieces Soccer Girl and High Strung Girl
This is our Christmas Tree this year! Homer wouldn't get Army Guy's golf clubs out of the living room so I just decorated them!

Homer and The Boy getting ready for S'Mores

Clueless

Vegan

Korihor

Love em!!

McFly and her cousin

Wheelchair Boy and Ramon, Ramon got baptized 2 wks ago and is doing great!

Sisters

Lil Miss Shoes and Demo

Headcase and my fav Deadhead!

Princess PePe

Me and The Boy

Well Merry Christmas everyone! This was our Christmas Eve party this year that every year we swear we will never do again! Darn those kids!

Sappy Sunday

2008-12-14T19:06:00.001-08:00

I'm trying to get ready for Christmas, but first the LV Bowl game this Saturday. SOMEBODY planned our ward Christmas Party during the game! Is the church still true? Someone please tell me! Well it is a no-brainer where we will be! McFly asked where she was going during the game and I told her where ever I can pawn her off. I am such a good mother!

We had Princess PePe and The Boy over night on Friday...they sure make life worth living

Now that football is over, we have nothing to look forward to each weekend. We are sooo glad that Wheelchair Boy has been healthy enough to go to the games every week. It has been almost a year and a half since he has been in the hospital.

This is my really cute niece who made us feel so welcome and loved at all of the games...She is genuinely one the the sweetest girls that I know! (Ignore the guy with her!)

Wanted to say thanks to Texas & T for letting us and the family mooch off of them for every football game this year...

We will get through this week and be happy about it. I will try to get the rest of Christmas up this week. Anyone up for a service project?

Tamale Thursday

2008-12-11T07:29:00.000-08:00

Well, Crazy Cousin ragged on me to blog so here I am...I went to St. George on Sunday afternoon and Monday to a quilt day with friends. Sunday my BFF Teta and I layed around in our motel room in our jammies and read magazines. A much needed rest!

It is so great that I never finished taking my Christmas down last year, so now it it half way up already!!! (does anyone notice how my glass is half full)? THAT doesn't happen very often...

My Christmas shopping is done and I am trying to finish making aprons (my latest obsession) for my Ames and her fam...

Ok, so, let me go all Mormon on ya all and tell you who grateful I am to ya all for pulling me through me meltdown about He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless. I appreciate your endless patience with all my crying and whining. I feel better thanks to you and thanks for not letting me hurt anybody!!!

It is so hard being the Queen!!!

Gotta Love Mondays!

2008-12-01T09:49:00.000-08:00

Nothing new since Thanksgiving, but Jen says I have to update this thing...It's Monday and I didn't kill anyone this weekend so my happy pills must be working! We did nothing but play on Scooters' Wii, it has been so much fun...Wheelchair Boy said "Can we ask Santa for a Wii?" And I said ask him when he comes in here (speaking of Homer) and Wheelchair Boy said "Not that Santa the other one!" Hummm...does he still believe? We his sooo funny! The other day he was playing football on PS3 ( he still kicks with that 1 finger!) and he beat Uncle Juan (again) and Jaun said "Someday I'll beat you!" and Wheelchair Boy said "I will be dead, resurrected and walking around this house and you still won't be able to beat me!" Oh he makes me giggle...

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2008-11-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

OK Ames, this blog is for you...I shall try and be positive and happy and not let everyone know how pathetic my life really is...So, gratitude is the work of the day. Hummmm, what can I say? I guess I am grateful that I am not dead, Wheelchair boy is not in the hospital, and McFly has only gotten in trouble once today! Homer is in a good mood, (Homer is ALWAYS in a good mood), Scooter and his family were only 2 hours late for thanksgiving dinner! At least they showed up. The babies: Princess PePe and The Boy were on their best behavior as always...of course I think that they are perfect! Whinny and high maintenance, but they have a great mom!

Sweet boy with his Favorite aunt!!!

My Sistas! Psycho

Sister and Cute Sister

My first time playing with a Wii!

Slightly competitive?
But hey, look at that chicken neck!