Pity Party is Over!!

Well, I've been on a pity party for 2 weeks now and no one is feeling sorry for me but me! Teta and Nuts both told me to suck it up and get over myself, so I did. Well, I didn't but I'm saying I did. I finally finished Shoe Girl's cabinet! My mom hates it , she said it still looks old! I tried to explain to her that that was the point!

This is our white trash yard. We pulled our dead tree out and planted 2 semi dead trees in it's place.


My daffodils came up!!!

We put in a new walk way for all of our white trash friends that constantly walk on our dead lawn. How rude! Do you notice how straight it is not?

These are our stupid white trash dogs! All they do is eat, drool, and bark!

Someday we will fix up this side of our yard, so you see Moby peeing on everything? I hate it!Good thing the Yorkie keeps those Mastiffs in line!

Maybe we will get the Christmas in the attic tonight...oh wait! Is there ANY kind of a game on tonight? Cause if there is... nothing will get done!

I did get tagged by my EX-EBFF Farm girl, so let me figure out how to get all my Jacks on that island and I will be there honey!!!

P.S. Denial is still working for me...

Oblivion

Well, Satan is alive and well and masquerading as a filthy rich black woman with really great skin. Yes, I have said it...Oprah is Satan. All of the things that I have always loved doing, I can no longer do because of Oprah.

I loved going to movies...then Satan does a germ show and now I am all freaked out about feces getting in my hair at the theater. In all the (few) times I have gone in the last couple of years, I take my Germ-X wipes and wipe down the whole chair including the cloth seat, not that it helps, but it does make me feel better.

I can't touch stair rails, elevator buttons, etc...I could go on forever and have passed this fun trait onto Scooter...not that he isn't a freak already!!!

What about the Mom jeans?

Maybe I LIKE this look...

maybe I LOOK better in this look...

Maybe I don't WANT to look like this...maybe I don't like my undies to show, or my butt crack when I bend over...or...just maybe...I already look like this.

Let's talk about the bras...I remember the days when I was comfortable in my wrong sized, old, worn bras...but NO!!!! I have to go and buy the $80 "Oprah" bra just because she has it on her favorite things show and everybody got one so I wanted one! I have never been so uncomfortable in my whole life!!!

Is she comfortable or not?

Maybe this chick liked her overflowing boobage!

I am sick of Satan's minions also...especially the one pretending to be one Dr. Oz. Do I really have to look at my poop to see if it is "S" shaped? Seriously?

I have decided to cast Satan off of my High Def DVR and never feel guilty again. I have trashed the "Oprah " bra, never to be worn again!!! I will eat butter! I will not stress about germs (really?), and I will keep drinking my Diet Coke! I will not let my underwear hang out of my jeans!!! Are you with me?!!! Seriously...are you with me?

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I've decided that I want Pink to be my Valentine...because I want to be her when I grow up. I love her. She probably has a plumber. And she doesn't have kids. And she is just hot. And not old...like me...

Homer did fix the sink yesterday, and it only has 2 leaks. We know have a big pan under the sink instead of cleaning products. Lucky me. Does this mean I don't have to clean anymore? That's what I get for snagging me a CPA instead of a plumber.

Homer took me to dinner for Valentine's Day last night (since Pink has blocked my calls) and to see Danny Gans. Pretty entertaining, (Thanks Uncle Juan!) We also went to the buffet at the Wynn. Tell me, what happened to the good old days of $4.99 buffets? $39.99!!! What the hell! I can't eat $39.99 worth of food! Homer had to get his money's worth though! Only 12 huge crab legs to start...

Anyway, Wheelchair Boy asked Homer for his permission to ask me to be his Valentine since he didn't have one...talk about sweet! That would break my heart if I had one! What great thing did I do in the pre-existence to deserve him?

Pay it forward

The Rules1. Be one of the first Three (3) bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.
2. Winners, you must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift for the first 3 bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!
3. The gift that you send to your three Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!
4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love!If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Please take the button and post it on your blog; start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!

Amy made me do this! Since I am not handy or crafty, I will make a macaroni necklace like Ames! Or maybe I will make a kilt for my new BFF Kristina P. or maybe not..

Tamale Thursday

It is official again...not only are we still white trash, soon I will be shaving my chin every morning with Homer...

Homer here.....what the #$@%!!! I put a temporary fix on the stinkin kitchen faucet (that Nancy broke) to give the little "WENCH" some access to water for a couple days until the new part comes in so I can fix the little fella on the cheap (instead of spending 150 large for a new matching faucet SET) and do I get a "thanks...You da man" maybe a little "thanks for the temporary fix, somebody gonna be gettin some sugar tonight." Noooooooooooo, I get mocked, belittled, and humiliated (which is tough to do to me since I am basically shameless). I telling you that this is the last time I come running to HER rescue. Don't even try to appologize and suck up to me - its to late and I really mean it.....unless you do some really serious suckin up (like maybe a homemade rubarb pie with the lard crust or something big like that). Action is the only thing that can save you now babygirl.

White Trash Tuesday

Spring is coming to my house!

Anyways, we are once again officially white trash! You know, after 27 years of marriage, I have gotten used to growing the wheatgrass...one my window sills, in my fridge, even in my oven, but look at the faucet in the kitchen!

It was broken at the Sunday night widow's dinner,

(this is the start of Homer's wheatgrass)

THIS!!! This is what Homer did to my faucet until the part comes 'cause he was too cheap to buy a new one!!! Oh yeah...white trash at it's best! I got the white trash big dogs, white trash yard, blah, blah, blah...this is what I get for living in a trailer at BYU (married student housing), and they tore it down so I have no proof that it was student housing!

Last weekend we went to St. George for Juan's birthday bash and stayed one night at the Seven Wives Inn. (Thanks Miss Shoes!) It was great, and if you have never stayed there, you should sometime. The owners are a wonderful young couple and GREAT cooks. Be sure and have the baked oatmeal for breakfast...when Homer kicks, I want to marry the cook!

Me...asleep

Julia Room...they are all named after the wives!

Beautiful!

OK, so, I did have a seriously traumatic event happen to me.

Now, I am not a vain person, (OK, so yes I am, but...) I lost my make-up bag out of my purse somewhere around all those Mormons in St. George! Gone! Every lipstick, gloss and liner I owned...all M.A.C. I might add...so I am walking around looking dead! 50 and looking dead...never mind I am almost there, but it is a sin to look it...like I don't have enough problems as it is...

Still a loser Tuesday!

Well, I've been reading blogs this morning, yes, (I am a little addicted to them), but yet again I have learned something about myself. I am not very bright...I know, I know, you are all surprised, but it is true! I am not a proficient writer, babble a lot, and don't make much sense most of the time, and I don't have any give aways, but hey, menopause sucks, what can I say!

This year is flying by already so here are some pics for all to see.

These are aprons Nuts made for us for Christmas...aren't they fab?

Homer, me, Teta and Jeb at the temple with Cuter Sister

Homer trying to tell Max how to play football

So glad my Bro made time for the trip!

McFly and Kinz

Taking my babies to church

Love these spoiled things!

Last week Baby Mama and the kids went to Phoenix for a couple of months to visit her sis, I will miss them so much!!

I also poked myself in the eye (told you I wasn't very bright), very painful and it bled but Homer LET me go to Pine Valley quilting anyway. Yes, yes, you all know how much I love that word LET, because I am a submissive wife, and he so graciously let me go!!! Isn't he a good patriarch?

On the drive up, we got stuck in the snow, dang those Vegas tires, and Bon's hubby had to pull us out with a back hoe!!

The road!

Bon is busy sewing!

This is Bon's humble little so-called-cabin that we stayed in...about 5 times as big as our humble abode. She was a wonderful and gracious hostess! Thanks Bon!

I remember this little church in Pine Valley from when a was a little girl (long time ago), it hasn't changed a bit! I still love this historic building!

It was a great trip and later I will post pics of things I did not finish...'cause I am a starter and not a finisher!

Wheelchair Boy only called me 11 times, I couldn't get service and he was not happy that he couldn't talk to me...he doesn't really want me, he just likes all of us home all the time...

Totally Loser Tuesday

Why am I such a big loser when it comes to being GREEN? Why can't I recycle? Why can't I stop the wastefulness as in garbage? I watched that Oprah episode on waste! I do really well for about a month then I get tired of all the dishes and then go back to the paper plates...I crush my cans for about 2 months and then just through them away...I am burning my paper stuff in the fireplace, but then again, doesn't that hurt the air quality? I can not handle this much stress! It is all too much for my little pea brain to handle...

Why am I such a loser! Isn't it enough that I try so hard to be spiritual, like I'm not already failing at that! I'm trying to be a good mormon mommy, strike #2, I'm trying to be a good sister, strike #3, loser! Shall we go on to 4, 5,.....on and on and on!!!

No I'm not on a pity party just hyperventilating about my ungreenness!!! I mean really, I still buy water in plastic bottles! Landfills are filled with my diapers of...like forever now!

I know that it is baby steps, but come on, really, how hard can it be? Why does my psycho brain complicate things for me??

Come Again Monday!!!

Back to school....Yeah!!! I thought I was going to kill myself! It has been a long holiday and for those of you who don't think that I am capable of taking down Christmas...it is down! It has only been up for going on two years! So there you are...down and ALL the boxes up in the attic, even the ones on the back patio!!!

So, I just want to say how much I loathe Ames. She has turned into my mother! Who else can dig the guilt into your bones with a blunt object, making the pain last forever...like a week...or so!
Ames and her stupid new year rez's or however you spell it!? So guilt me on Ames!!!!

My goals for this year will be minimal because with my life I have to take one day at a time so that I don't get too stressed and go all Santa-at-a-Christmas-Eve-Party on everyone! (don't think I didn't think about it!)

I decided that I would set a goal of trying to wash my face every night. Lame huh? Well it's hard for me!!! I'm old you know!

Next...I am going to go on a budget...I gotta...Homer is stressed so I am stressed.

Then...I will try and finish 4 quilts this year...not much I know but big for me since I am a starter and a... finisher? Not so much...

And the same ol' same ol'...I need to be more spiritual! Me and TeTa are GOING to go to the shinden (that's temple in Japanese) once a month...we can do it punkin!!!! Then of course Homer and I will go once a month also...(WOW! I can feel myself rising up off the ground already!!!) BaaHH!!!

Don't you all roll your eyes at me!! My mama's will slap you!!!

Thanks for the SHOVE Ames...see you next weekend! Love you!