Friday, December 18, 2009


I have never had such a hard time getting into the Christmas Spirit as I have this year. My stereo has been broken and I can't use the ipod, in case WB calls for me. In the Good Mother Manual it ways I should not ignore him, but respond to his requests of "I'm sorry to bother you, but can I have a drink please?" can I say no to that sweet thing? Just because he can't get it himself is no reason why I should ditch him.

Well Homer went and bought me a Boze for Christmas! I small one but hey...I LOVE IT and have always wanted one! Now I can play my music in MY part of the house...WB is very territorial and that is were the computer is. Did I mention Homer gave it to my early? Now I can cry and complain and throw a tantrum if I don't get anything under the tree!!! Yes...I am that good...and that petty.

So here are a few things that have made me giggle these past couple of weeks. All from my blond ditsy girl McFly. I am not a writer so don't judge...

On WB birthday...McFly: "Mom, how many people are coming to the party tonight?"

Queen: "Well, WB has invited everyone and their dog."

McFly: "Really? Everyone is bringing their dogs?"

We found out (after extensive and expensive testing) that McFly does not have Attachment Disorder but she has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Yeah. On the way home from a long day of assessments I told her: " we know what race you are."

McFly: " Really?"

Me: " Yes, you are half black...or in other words, half African-American."

McFly: "Oh...cuz people always ask me and I just say I don't know."

(insert teaching moment) Me: "Now what are you going to tell them?"

McFly: (rolling her eyes and grunting because I am so stupid) "That I am half black and half African American!"

Yes, yes...she is almost 12 and knows who her Bio mother is...

The other day she wanted marshmallows that were melty in her hot chocolate so she but the whole bag of marshmallows in the microwave. I thought The First Born would die laughing...
By the way...I am very proud of The First Born...he is clean, has put on weight, and is doing well. He and Baby Mama are doing the big "D", and if he would get a would be good for me cuz maybe he would leave. Love him but...just sayin'...

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Where has the time gone!!!

Well, I missed November...or slept through it or something. I can't believe it is December and almost Christmas!

November sailed away. Seriously. Right before Thanksgiving I came down with a bad case of Vertigo!!! Have you ever had that? It's just stupid. Nothing hurts. I'm not sick. But let me tell ya, the room spins, I am disoriented, and it is annoying. Really. I can't drive, walk straight, think, well...part of that is normal for me but now I have an excuse!

Yesterday I walked in my She Cave and sat down, 'cause I have LOTS of Christmas presents to finish up and I started hyperventilating! Then I started thinking about getting the decorations out of the attic and putting Christmas, (it is a 3 day process...I have a lot of stuff) and I had an anxiety attack just thinking about it! How pathetic am I?! I LOVE Christmas! Love the feel of it, everyone smiling in the stores, it is just a kinder, gentler, world! (I'm not talking about the day after Christmas shopping...that is a whole nether story!)

Why do we do this to ourselves? One of my Ya-Ya's told me I should just boycott the deco this year. Thought about it, but poor McFly...she already is convinced I'm sure that I am the worse mother in the world and that would just solidify it. She is the last kid ya know, and I don't bake things for her or any of the fun things you young mama's do. That ship has sailed! I do buy "homemade" cookies along with the Oreo's! I am not that bad!

This is also the time of year you start getting those dumb lame Christmas letters. I HATE them!!
No one ever sends a letter saying their child is about to be paroled and may be home for New Year's, or that they just got a new house because their daughter burnt down the old one. I want some reality people! And if your reality is 8 son's have already served missions, married in the temple and are graduating from law/med school this year...I really don't want to hear it!!!! That does not make me very Christlike now does it. Telling me that they are all happy and healthy is OK...a few on anti-depressants...even better. I'm sorry!!! I just want to feel better about myself. Is there anything wrong with that?

I know with is economy that people are going through come terrible things. Let's hear it! We are all in the same boat may be just a bitter smaller than yours, but it has a hole in it too!

Maybe we should have a Meet and Greet at my house. I will serve hot spiced cider and lots of good food and you all can help me put up my 12 Christmas trees and 50 boxes of decorations. But then you have to come back after Christmas and help me take it down. Yes I have been known to leave it up till June and August a couple of times, and all year once. Maybe twice. Not lazy, just overwhelmed.

Pathetic. I know...(sigh)