Bah......Huh?

I have never had such a hard time getting into the Christmas Spirit as I have this year. My stereo has been broken and I can't use the ipod, in case WB calls for me. In the Good Mother Manual it ways I should not ignore him, but respond to his requests of "I'm sorry to bother you, but can I have a drink please?" Seriously...how can I say no to that sweet thing? Just because he can't get it himself is no reason why I should ditch him.



Well Homer went and bought me a Boze for Christmas! I small one but hey...I LOVE IT and have always wanted one! Now I can play my music in MY part of the house...WB is very territorial and that is were the computer is. Did I mention Homer gave it to my early? Now I can cry and complain and throw a tantrum if I don't get anything under the tree!!! Yes...I am that good...and that petty.



So here are a few things that have made me giggle these past couple of weeks. All from my blond ditsy girl McFly. I am not a writer so don't judge...



On WB birthday...McFly: "Mom, how many people are coming to the party tonight?"

Queen: "Well, WB has invited everyone and their dog."

McFly: "Really? Everyone is bringing their dogs?"



We found out (after extensive and expensive testing) that McFly does not have Attachment Disorder but she has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Yeah. On the way home from a long day of assessments I told her: "Well...now we know what race you are."

McFly: " Really?"

Me: " Yes, you are half black...or in other words, half African-American."

McFly: "Oh...cuz people always ask me and I just say I don't know."

(insert teaching moment) Me: "Now what are you going to tell them?"

McFly: (rolling her eyes and grunting because I am so stupid) "That I am half black and half African American!"



Yes, yes...she is almost 12 and knows who her Bio mother is...

The other day she wanted marshmallows that were melty in her hot chocolate so she but the whole bag of marshmallows in the microwave. I thought The First Born would die laughing...

By the way...I am very proud of The First Born...he is clean, has put on weight, and is doing well. He and Baby Mama are doing the big "D", and if he would get a job...life would be good for me cuz maybe he would leave. Love him but...just sayin'...

Where has the time gone!!!

Well, I missed November...or slept through it or something. I can't believe it is December and almost Christmas!

November sailed away. Seriously. Right before Thanksgiving I came down with a bad case of Vertigo!!! Have you ever had that? It's just stupid. Nothing hurts. I'm not sick. But let me tell ya, the room spins, I am disoriented, and it is annoying. Really. I can't drive, walk straight, think, well...part of that is normal for me but now I have an excuse!

Yesterday I walked in my She Cave and sat down, 'cause I have LOTS of Christmas presents to finish up and I started hyperventilating! Then I started thinking about getting the decorations out of the attic and putting Christmas, (it is a 3 day process...I have a lot of stuff) and I had an anxiety attack just thinking about it! How pathetic am I?! I LOVE Christmas! Love the feel of it, everyone smiling in the stores, it is just a kinder, gentler, world! (I'm not talking about the day after Christmas shopping...that is a whole nether story!)

Why do we do this to ourselves? One of my Ya-Ya's told me I should just boycott the deco this year. Thought about it, but poor McFly...she already is convinced I'm sure that I am the worse mother in the world and that would just solidify it. She is the last kid ya know, and I don't bake things for her or any of the fun things you young mama's do. That ship has sailed! I do buy "homemade" cookies along with the Oreo's! I am not that bad!

This is also the time of year you start getting those dumb lame Christmas letters. I HATE them!!
No one ever sends a letter saying their child is about to be paroled and may be home for New Year's, or that they just got a new house because their daughter burnt down the old one. I want some reality people! And if your reality is 8 son's have already served missions, married in the temple and are graduating from law/med school this year...I really don't want to hear it!!!! That does not make me very Christlike now does it. Telling me that they are all happy and healthy is OK...a few on anti-depressants...even better. I'm sorry!!! I just want to feel better about myself. Is there anything wrong with that?

I know with is economy that people are going through come terrible things. Let's hear it! We are all in the same boat...my boat may be just a bitter smaller than yours, but it has a hole in it too!

Maybe we should have a Meet and Greet at my house. I will serve hot spiced cider and lots of good food and you all can help me put up my 12 Christmas trees and 50 boxes of decorations. But then you have to come back after Christmas and help me take it down. Yes I have been known to leave it up till June and August a couple of times, and all year once. Maybe twice. Not lazy, just overwhelmed.

Pathetic. I know...(sigh)

If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands!

What is it with everyone's obsession with being happy?! I always thought that I was a happy person and the other day someone (you KNOW who you are!) told me that I just wasn't happy! Well yes I am! At least I thought I was until someone said that! Now I am all confused!

Sure, my life sucks, I pretty much can't stand my kids and some of my family (I can say that 'cuz the one's that I can't stand don't read this!) but other than that I AM TOO HAPPY dang it!!!!

So are you happy? Now...I know that "men are that they might have joy", but we aren't talking abut joy. Joy does in fact elude me. What is joy anyway? I feel joy with my grand kids, joy in my testimony of the gospel, (my church) but...that is about it. What am I doing wrong?

I feel peace, love, comfort, pain, but joy? Not so much. I realize that I couldn't get through my life without Homer and I am not saying that out loud just in case God hears me and decides to "test" me again...as he laughs all the way to the beach. I do know that I bitch and moan a lot, but hey...at least I don't hold it all in so that I die of a heart attack when I am 50. OK, so I am almost 52 and feel like I am 90. I guess that is another thing not to have joy in although I wouldn't go back and do anything in my life any different...except maybe I would give my kids up for adoption. Even the one I adopted.

Seriously...if you know me, you know that I do love my kids...I'm just kidding so don't get your panties in a twist, but I apparently suck at the mom thing. I must have said out loud once that I had this mom thing under control, and once again God heard me, laughed...and here we are not learning whatever it is that I am supposed to be learning. If I was catch on to that lesson we could move on to something else!

Men may have joy but do women? Do you? Maybe I feel it and just don't know it. I DO know that I would feel joy if I could ride WB's coat tails straight to the right hand of God, where he will be running around on that beach. I would even be willing to serve the mojitos, virgin of course, just to be able to feel that joy.

Home is a Wonderful Thing!

After 6 long weeks...we are home and WB is alive and well! OK, he is alive...and slowly getting well. It is great to be getting back to normal, even though Rader Normal is...well...NOT normal.

I would really like to thank my momma for coming through for us and picking up the slack at home, picking up McFly from school and keeping her from burning the house down or being arrested.

I have been reading you all, maybe not leaving comments, but laughing just the same. I love you guys!

We are going to the BYU v TCU game this weekend come hell or high water!!! It will be my first game of the year, so Max better come through for us! Let me know if any of you are going so we can hug and stuff.

Teta...sorry your daddy passed away, I love you so much!!

Game Day!

Yes it is game day for BYU vs. Utah St. Once again I miss it while Homer watches it at home. I will be in the hospital with WB. Wasted tickets...again! Good luck Max and Dennis!

Homer was with WB at the hospital Monday night and they were watching football. The nurse left to get the boy some juice and Homer ran after her to see if she would get him some ice water. He came back in the room and on the TV was Independence Day.

Homer: "What happened to the game"? (As he sits down in the chair and sets his 64oz. white trash mug on the night stand).

Old Lady: "Well, are you comfortable"?

He was in the wrong room!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! He said he was sorry to her and ran out and found our room!!! Then he realized he had forgotten his white trash cup and had to go back and get it!!!!! That gave me a good laugh and WB game out of his drugged stupor to giggle!!!

I would like to thank The Hamster for bringing me Diet Coke, I was trying to save it 'cause she put a pretty bow and flowers on it, I wanted to take a photo of it but I could not wait. Thank you soul sister!!!

We are back in ICU and I hate it in there. Can't have cell phones so I text incognito. I'm sure they don't notice. Luckily we have been blessed with great nurses who keep my boy alive and drugged. Gotta love good drugs!!!

Hope you all have a great weekend, I think our weather is in the 90's now. I wouldn't know, haven't seen the light of day in 5 weeks. Last weekend my SIL Shoe Girl came and spent the days with WB so I could have a rest. Life Saver!!! I slept for 2 days... Love you all, and thanks for all the prayers!

Still Lurking...

WB is back in the hospital this week so I am still just lurking around y'all. Thanks for making me laugh, and especially thanks for all of your prayers. The boy thought that he would bleed out on my watch? Well I don't think so!!! We got him to the ER in time, big hole in his stomach, burned it up, blah, blah, blah...hopefully the bleeding will stop so they don't have to take out part of his stomach.

I just did a 48 hour shift at the hospital so Homer could go the the BYU game, the game I never want to talk about for as long as I live, and thank you April for sending me texts on how bad the game was!!! Love you sister! Hamster and I will be mourning this week.

Anyway, still lurking so don't say anything bad about me 'cause I will see it!!! And if anyone of you are capable of feeling sorry for me...please do so starting now...McFly has starting playing with fire and just about burning the house down today, again on my watch. Do you see a pattern here? Gee...does anyone need a babysitter? I'm really good with kids...

Thanks for the Prayers!

There is this really great chaplain at St. Rose Sienna Hospital. He has been there for years and always says to me..."I know you are LDS, but is it OK if we pray for you?"

And then I always say to him..."Well, since we pray to the same God, thanks, I really appreciate that!"

I wonder why that is that some people think because you are a different religion that is may not be OK to pray for them? THAT would be my random thought Shelle and Jules...

Now to the good stuff...We have had a miracle! Seriously, we have! We had a ward fast for WB on Sunday along with alot of prayers for friends. Today they went in to surgery to remove his tumor...(5 docs said it was a GIST tumor), well they get in to remove it and it was the tube from his shunt that was growing into his stomach to create the "tumor"!

I am not one to say never mind Lord, it wasn't cancer so I don't need your help now...I TOTALLY believe in the power of prayer!!! Just like my friend Texas said..."this is a thank-you Jesus moment"!

Anyway, thank you all for everything, your prayers and happy thoughts! I told the doc that we had to be home by game time on Saturday...trust me...we will be!!! I can so be a nag! Just ask the fam!

BYU Cougars Rock!!!

OK, I am totally jacking this post from Cute Sister 'cuz she did all the work and I am a loser that way! My Cougars Rock!!! What a game!!! We watched it in the hospital room with WB. We would scream and the nurses would run in and ask if everything was alright! They finally caught on...

We are so proud of Max and the team...just wish Unga could have played...and Pitta the Kitty Lover was awesome as usual!

Yeah, who cares if he is Danny White's nephew! He is WB's cousin!

(well he's my nephew too!)

WB did wake up out of his drugged up stupor to see the last quarter and was grinning the best he could! He does love his cousin Max and the guys on the team are so good to him. So sorry we were not there but the win made a crappy week better. WE BLEED BLUE!!!

Lookin' forward to a GREAT year! Hopefully we can make the games..

M.I.A.

Hey bloggy friends! I will be MIA for a while...well, not totally MIA, I will lurk in the middle of the night when I am really tired and can't always leave rude and disgusting comments.

Las week Homer and I went for classes/testing to get our CCW, (concealed weapons) so I will be packin'! I do live in Vegas you know and have you met my first born? HAHAHAHA (you just THINK I am kidding)... then came home to a sick Wheelchair Boy. He has been pretty sick since Saturday, took him to the doctor...blah, blah, blah. This is not the usual brain surgery stuff, that I can handle, no, no...my sweet WB had to crash in the ER!!! Nurses yelling and throwing stuff...not my first rodeo, and he has been closer to the "D" word before. We are not panicky kind of people. (Although I will admit to you that I was praying HARD) but don't tell any of my other friends, I don't want them to think that I am spiritual!!! LOL

Ya know...as far as my first born goes...go ahead and call me a bad mother if you want! BUT! WB? Them are fightin' words!!! I have neglected and sacrificed everything for the boy, our whole family has, so don't tick me off!!! WB has never even had a bed sore in his life! OK...well Homer is in charge of that part, but I can take credit too don't ya think?

Anyway...long story short...gushing blood out from underneath his G-Tube, needed blood blah, blah, blah again...come to find out he has a rare form of stomach cancer. Inconvenient huh? He will be fine...just waiting to see if we do chemo or they cut it out. He has a lot of hardware in him and is at big risk for infection, so yes this does suck.

Now we are not "whoa is me, I'm a victim" kind of people. We don't want anyone in our ward to know so don't tell any of them. We just don't want everyone feeling sorry for us. Oh Wait!!! What about cookies? Or brownies? Hey!!!! Maybe I should get that "sorry" thing going! I could score!!!!

I did come out of the closet with my coke drinking to Homer the raw food freak! Nothing like a good medical scare to put life and diet coke drinking in perspective. Gotta love Heavenly Father's sense of humor!!!

Seriously...so grateful for friends who brought Cafe Rio and Red Mango, And really grateful for Homer and his strength. Don't tell him, but I could never do this without him! Really grateful for a loving God who is always there for me and keeps me in line.

Love you guys, I will be lurking so don't talk smack about me behind my back!!!

BYU game tomorrow night!!! Guess who will NOT be there??!!! Oh yeah...He does have a sense of humor...

THAT Woman?

When did I become THAT woman? And yes, I do use the term woman loosely.

When did I become THAT woman with the bratty, irreverent kids in church?
When did I become THAT woman who is not as spiritual as she once was? Or the woman who spends more time plucking the hair on her chin than styling the hair on her head?

When did I become THAT woman who can't make it through life without her "happy pills" or she is afraid the bodies will pile up in the backyard?

WHO IS THAT FAT WOMAN STARING BACK AT ME IN THE MIRROR???!!! When did I become my mother? (NO.....I did NOT say you were fat mom...)

When did I become THAT cynical, angry woman? Or the mother of a drug dealer facing 20 years? When did I start crying or laughing at the most inappropriate times? And WHERE in the helk did this muffin top come from???

Today is my 27th anniversary!!! What would I do without the greatest thing that has ever happened to me? Does he roll over in the morning and say to himself..."When did I marry THAT woman?" Well...we both are going to have to suck it up!!! No he did not sign up for the wrinkles and mean mom eyebrow line... but hey! Neither did I! When he decides to fork out for the plastic surgeon, botox, and looney bin...not to mention a housekeeper...then we will chat...till then, we are both stuck with me!!

P.S. Hamster...I bought you a present! I bought you a present! (I'm singing that)