Monday, February 22, 2010

Serious Problem With The Thought Process...

Yesterday in "Relief Society" at Church for those of you who don't know what that is...our lesson was on Freedom To Choose, or agency and crap like that. Anyway...the teacher asked us about choices we've made and why we make them and consequences and stuff and all I could think of for a good choice is that I did not kill my kid and bury her in the back yard because...I don't think I would make a good prison girlfriend. And Homer might get mad. He likes her. Because he is gone all day. That has to be the only reason.

Am I the only one who has thought this?!!

Then she made me breakfast this morning so I had to like her again. It is a day by day process. I have had to put locks on my bedroom door and on my sewing room door to keep her out. I have to pat her down every time she leaves the house goes to the home of anyone else. Yes, it is that bad.

Any suggestions? Remember...she has so conscience and no reasoning abilities. I know you smarties out there and all of you that just LOVE being a mom and are so good at it can give me some hints. Not Prozac. The happy pills came with The First Born.

Either give me some suggestions or tell my how big your back yard is....

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Shout Outs

Yesterday the D-I-V-O-R-C-E of The First Born and Baby Mama was finalized. Believe it or not, I'm kinda sad. Not about the marriage (sorry) they were so young it was just a matter of time, but I am sad because I really love her. She is sweet and a really good mom. I'm glad she is still in our lives and that she is raising my grand kids.

The shout out is to her and all single moms that are working, going to school, or whatever and trying to raise their children. I admire you. I consider myself lucky, just to be a stay at home mom, and I am married to a guy who is more nurturing than I am. I wish my son wouldn't have been on drugs most of their marriage so they could have made a go of it.

My next shout out is to the unbelievable lady down the street who just so happens to be married to The Guy On The Corner.

First of all, WB has been in the hospital again. He is home now. It was a routine shunt-fail-get-a-new-one neurosurgery. We like to look at it as a 3000 mile oil change. No, it is not normal, he just is....oh whatever he is, it's not suppose to happen but it does to him. Anyway...we are not private people I blog for hell's sake, but we don't like everyone to know when he is in the hospital because we don't like to have people fuss over us and you know how those Mormons are...they fuss over EVERYTHING and they is why we are all whacked and half of us are on Prozac.

But Em, she is one of those really mom's that actually like her kids. They are ALL great kids and I do hate her for that but every year at Christmas she makes these awesome orange rolls for some of the more needy people in the neighborhood. Maybe she just wanted to give them to us only one year, but I was not about to let that happen! Around August I start the lowering of the bar and begging. Seriously, they are that good! And she brings them HOT, straight out of the oven.

This year, I took the empty pan back to them and said "please sir, can I have some more?" They laughed at me and I wasn't even kidding. Really. I wasn't. When she makes them she doesn't make any for her family til new years and I thought if she made a batch for her family she could make another one for mine. This is logical in my little pea brain.

Well...I didn't get any!!! Can you believe that? After all that begging and lowering of standards?
Thank goodness for the always sick WB!!! Are you ready for this? Last night, hot out of the oven. the coveted Orange Rolls!!!! I was going to take a photo and post it, but you have all seen empty pans before, so I didn't think you would care. Dang they were soooooo good!

Can you believe her snotty little son who brought them, actually asked if he could have one? Tried to tell me that his family never did get any! Like THAT mattered to me. Did he think that it would pull on my non-existent heart strings? Yes, I did give him one. The smallest one. And don't think it will not cost him dearly! I will milk that one until next Christmas!

I told Homer that I wished that I had a "thing" that I could make or bake for them, and you know what he said to me? "Well, you just haven't found it yet." Are you kidding me? I have been slaving over him for almost 28 years and he couldn't come up with something off the top of his head? My jaw dropped! I will never cook or bake for him again as long as I live!!!!!

Well...a shout out the Em and all of you fuss budgets out there that make needy people feel loved. (maybe she was just trying to shut me up). I gotta tell ya, blogging is great. You can say things about people who never read said blog and they will never know!!!