What's in YOUR wallet?!

I am so sick of commercials. Political commercials. And Political phone calls. And my recycling bin is overflowing, and we just re-elected a wing nut to the Senate. And NCIS was preempted last night. That is just wrong! How can I make it through the week without my dose of Gibbs?

I'm sure we are all happy/miserable for the outcome of elections but joined in delight that it is all over, and just in time to start cooking for Thanksgiving. I am tired and want to come to your house and eat this year. What time shall we be there?

I do love the fall. It is my favorite time of the year. I don't know why, but I feel it is time for renewal. Out with the old and in with the new. Spring cleaning, opening all the windows and airing the house out. Airing out your spirit. Take a deep breath and smell football in the air!

Yes, I am rambling. I have a tendency to do that. Nothing important to say...except someone at my church heard me ringtone the other day and told me it was evil. Seriously? What is so evil about the song " Time Warp"? It is a great song!

What is your ringtone? What does it say about you? I have a couple of them. "Time Warp" and "You Can't Always Get What You Want" are great songs. Does that mean I am evil because I like a song from a sick and twisted movie that makes me giggle? I don't get it. Tell me about yours and don't judge me. Am I evil? (sad face)

I Got In Trouble For Telling A Lie...

Since Crash called me a bigfatliar and said Shoe Girl was cuter and skinner than me, I thought I would make it up to her. People who REALLY know me just expect everything I say is a lie, but since I have never been to Hawaii and she won't let me stay with her when I got to Happy Valley I thought I would make it up to her. Just so she knows that I am not giving back her play list!

OK quilty friends!! If you guys even knew how funny that was because none of my real quilty friends even read this bog they just read all of yours 'cuz secretly they hate me. So Sherri, please tell all of your quilter friends which covers about half of the world you stinkin' over achiever you!!! (Really she is an unbelievable quilter AND has a clean organized sewing room, so I secretly hate her!)

I don't know how to do a linky thingy. No one will tell me how to do it because they don't want to link to their blogs but I do know how to add a gadget! I have a new one to The Magic Quilt! Click on over and maybe if you all donate (and I'll bet they could use some quilts too) Maybe Miss Soon To Be Author will be my friend again.

Yes! I will bring fabric to the next game and maybe I can talk April and Shelle into going with me!!!

We will just call this my Eagle Project!!!!

My Journey From Bitterness to Forgiveness...for CRASH!!!

Well sorry to say this whole problem started with Jack Johnson. Yes good old JJ. Crash(insert linky thingy here. Someone please e-mail me and tell me how to do it)! Anyway...Crash had a contest for JJ tickets in SLC and I must have entered 50 times and I did NOT win!!! How could that be? Seriously Crash...I think it was rigged. Some other sweet soul won but she is an innocent victim in all of this unless she is Crash's BFF and I just don't know about it.

I was so unset about it that I could not even sleep at night with such hard feels. I mean really. Does she kick puppies? Does she text and drive at the same time? Does she? Who would not let me win?

I tried so hard to figure out a way to get back at her but realized that it was just too much work to be mad so I decided to forgive her and the blessings just started to flow. Yes! Hallelujah! It does pay to take that high road! My ex-SIL Shoe Girl called...

Oh Yeah!!! Michael Buble'!!!

15th row...front and center!!!

Now if I was petty and completely a wicked woman I would say nanny nanny!!!

But of course I would never do that.

This is me and Shoe Girl. Don't let looks fool you, I am the slutty one. And she is making me look fatter than I really am.

I really hate going places with her. Yes she is fun and stuff, but she does get gawked at, stared and drooled at, women despise her and she has even been stalked with me there. Seriously. We had to call the cops. I was throwing myself at that dang stalker and he still wanted her!

Well Crash...as soon as you apologize to me and tell me how jealous you are that I got to see Michael Buble', (I like to call him Michael Bubble because it freaks McFly out. It gets her every time! She yells at me! "Mom! It's not Bubble. It's Buble')! then Crash and only then will my journey be complete. And...why won't he come to Vegas anyway? Does he think we are all sinners and big fat liars? Well maybe we are. About Crash anyway. That sweet spirit her.

Speaking of McFly she finally saw all 3 Back To The Future's. I told her that is where we got her nick name from. She didn't get it. And there we are.

If Crash ever speaks to me again because I'm a big rude to her, I will tell her that me and my BFF's are going to bring her a booty load of fabric for her Magic Quilt. (insert linky thingy here) I have lots of quilter friends you know.

And forgiveness is a wonderful thing.

I Beg You...DON'T FORGET ME!!!

OK, so who has forgotten all about me and my pathetic life? Oh don't act like life has just moved on for ya'll and you have problems of your own because it is all about me!!!

Well it is Friday the 13th and historically it is a GREAT day for me and it started out great. I watched Tremors last night, classic Kevin Bacon and slept in till 9:30 because WB stayed up late last night, then I got all bitter because Crash won't take me to see Jack Johnson and Shelle made me do the ugly cry which I thought was reserved for teaching Relief Society. I would do links to their lovely blogs and I would like to tell you I won't because of my aforementioned bitterness...but in reality I can't remember how. So there.

After the ICU stay for WB and before the bitterness, this is what I have been doing.

TADAAAAA!! How do you like the tricked out dresser I painted for McFly? And yes I did the rose swag on them and the roses on the side. Well I glued them on and painted them anyway.

Now because I have forgotten how to upload photos correctly, this post will be all over the place. I know that is surprising to you since you all think my life is in order...but I have news for you...

This...

And this...

and of course this...is my REAL life.

Well technically, it is my She Cave and I am redo it. I can't redo my life so I am redoing my house. It is called denial and yes I love me some Elvis and my new imac I got for Mother's Day. I had to beg and cry and withhold ...well you know. Just kidding...I would NEVER withhold THAT!!!

This is my new scrapbooking cabinet that I drove to SLC and got off of Mormon's Craig List. Just kidding...KSL.com. I love it!! It was a really cool orange, red, salmon, blah, blah but I painted it happy colors. Like a beach, but not.

This is another dresser I painted, bought it for $40 bucks! I love it but have no where to put it so it is sitting in my living room. By the way, the rest of my house does not look like my She Cave, I do clean...sometimes.

By the way I need a really cool antique mirror in that nekked spot.

Yes, I admit it, I love beat up old furniture. I LOVE antiques and have had them for years, but my BFF Texas, came down (she lives in Provo now and lets me slum at her house for the BYU games), and helped me change my living space...well maybe she did it while I ran back and forth to help WB. They had to take his pain pump out of his spine because it was infected so he is quite needy now and we (I mean HE) lives on Loratab and Valium. I wish it was WE!!

See my great lamp shade Texas made me for my B-Day?!! It is made out of my Grandmother's hankies.

Did I tell you that my cute little FIL is living with us now? Got rid of the stupid BIL after 4 yrs, just in time for Grandpa to move in. He is not well and can't be left alone.

Here is my buddy WB...do you see where I am going with this?!!!

Actually, my sweet grandbabies just moved back to Vegas so I will get to see them more often!

Baby Momma and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named got divorced, but I got custody of her!

McFly and The Princess fight like cats and dogs or sisters...close call on which is worse! Sibling rivalry is new to me and I have a hard time dealing with it. Too much chaos in in our lives. But I am glad to have them near us and I LOVE Baby Momma's new boyfriend. He is good those babies so I don't have to worry about them...much. All Grammy's worry, right?

School is about to start and I can't wait for some semblance of a routine. That was a joke huh?

Well I will get back to cleaning the cave, crankin' the itunes, and ignoring my children. It is what I do best. And speaking of Princess...the other one...thanks for the card...I love you!!

P.S. I am not proofreading this so don't judge.

Things that make me smile!

OK...things that make me smile...hummmmmm...I got nothin'!

No really...I'm trying to make myself think of things that make me smile so I will not feel sorry for myself. So...here goes!

Walking out of that dreadful hospital and smelling the thick fragrance of Jasmine in the air.

Pulling up to a red light, made at everyone and hearing "I Am A Child Of God" coming from the car next to me and seeing a cute little Mexican lady singing at the top of her lungs. Life is good.

Seeing brand new babies leaving the hospital...and knowing I get to sleep all night! HAHAHA

Getting a texted photo from The Princess who just lost her first tooth! I told Baby Momma she needed 10 bucks for that one!

Well that is all I have right now. WB has been in ICU for over 3 weeks now but is getting better!

I have gained about a million pounds but I got my new Jack Johnson download yesterday so all is right with the world.

I have not been reading every one's post lately, I should have...KP can always make me laugh! If anything great of very bad has happened, good for you or I am sorry which ever is more appropriate. Hopefully we will be coming home on Sunday and I can get back to quilting and wasting my days reading about yawl's exciting lives.

School is out and as you all know I am not the nice kind of mother that LOVES having kids home for the summer. The only thing good about it is that I get to sleep in. Of course I can get a nice slave girl out of it. See? There is good in everything.

What I REALLY meant to say...

This post is a tribute to Chief and her Wednesday's that I really love but am too flaky to participate in. So check her out tomorrow and here I go...

To the "friends" that rag on me for having my 84 yr. old in congestive heart failure father in law move in with me next month, when I smiled and said "I know", what I really meant to say...

"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Don't tell me I have too much on my plate and can't handle it. I know that! Don't you think I know that?! It is your job as "friends" to listen to me complain and cry about it, but support me in it! I love this man and will do what I can for him even if that means having an extra 6 Diet Cokes and a Xanax everyday. Please support me and give me chocolate."

To Homer that won't buy me a new computer and I say "That's ok, I understand we don't have the money", what I really meant to say...

I want it!! I deserve it!!! I have 1 kid with a hole in his head that will not heal, and 2 psychos' living here not to mention your Dad is coming and I need something to get me through it!! Gimme, gimme, gimme! I know I sound like a selfish little brat but I don't care! I WANT IT!!!

To my favorite doc Peeps who wants to put WB in the hospital this week for a hole in his head and I said "OK", what I really meant to say...

"Oh come on! It's Mothers Day on Sunday! I would rather spend the day with criminals at home that nuns in the hospital!" (Actually, I did text him and told him that and he said OK) but I just wanted to vent anyway just because I feel sorry for myself.

And last but not least...to my children whenever I smile at them, what I really meant to say...
"For cryin' in a bucket pull your head out of your rear end and get your life together! Who is going to take care of your father when he is 84 years old? Don't worry about me because I don't want to live with you either! You can just take me out to the north 40, but your Dad? He's the GOOD parent and he deserves it!"

Well, I feel better, now I will go have a cookie, make aprons for Sherri and Dawn, pop an Excedrin and have another Diet Coke. Happy Mothers Day to all of you! And if you are not a mother I would say lucky you, but that would be insensitive.

Missed you guys!!!

I have been MIA for like, forever and I have missed you guys! This has been a very long year already and it is only March!!!

My WB has had it rough this year, and we have requested that they just put a zipper in his head. 125 surgeries and counting. I hope this last one takes. I really hate to see him in pain (if you do the migraine thing, think of that 24/7), so we just might have to take him out to the north 40.

Let's see...what else...Oh!! I had my grand babies for a week during AZ Spring Break! It was great and VERY exhausting! How can something so cute be so much work? I had allergies something fierce due to our 70-80 degree weather. Take that you northerners!!!

OK, now McFly...that girl...! They had a lesson at Young Women's about hygiene and not wearing too much make-up and they taught them how to put it on so they didn't look like sluts. Well McFly is only 12 and me being the mean mother that I am, I don't let her wear make-up, just lip gloss. She came home and told me all about it and I walked in the kitchen and got a snack, and she proceeded to rob me blind. Yes ladies, she stole my MAC make-up and brushes!!! Now you all know how I feel about my MAC make-up...it costs more than my house! And yes I hoard it!

The next day I'm looking for my blush and it is not to be found! I asked her about it and of course she denied it...several times. Homer finally (after 2 days) told her no questions asked and no consequences just bring it back. I went in and talked to her and she told me (accidentally) where her hiding place was and got me my stuff.

Next day, after she went to school I looked in her hiding place and what did I find? Not only our extra cell phone that she is not allowed to use without permission, but she had been texting on it. AND....there was a red lace negligee!!! I almost thew up!!! I had no idea where it came from and all kinds of things were going through my mind. Then Homer came home and I went through my "nightie" drawer and found the panties for the red lace item and was thrilled that it was mine. Yes I have so many of them that I can't keep track. But that is also the drawer I hide drugs in!!! Not bad drugs, good drugs!!!

Well, we have installed bio fingerprint locks and keypads on our bedroom door and my sewing room which is another favorite invasion place of hers. Lucky me. Adoption anyone? I think I will go make an apron...

Serious Problem With The Thought Process...

Yesterday in "Relief Society" at Church for those of you who don't know what that is...our lesson was on Freedom To Choose, or agency and crap like that. Anyway...the teacher asked us about choices we've made and why we make them and consequences and stuff and all I could think of for a good choice is that I did not kill my kid and bury her in the back yard because...I don't think I would make a good prison girlfriend. And Homer might get mad. He likes her. Because he is gone all day. That has to be the only reason.

Am I the only one who has thought this?!!

Then she made me breakfast this morning so I had to like her again. It is a day by day process. I have had to put locks on my bedroom door and on my sewing room door to keep her out. I have to pat her down every time she leaves the house goes to the home of anyone else. Yes, it is that bad.

Any suggestions? Remember...she has so conscience and no reasoning abilities. I know you smarties out there and all of you that just LOVE being a mom and are so good at it can give me some hints. Not Prozac. The happy pills came with The First Born.

Either give me some suggestions or tell my how big your back yard is....

Shout Outs

Yesterday the D-I-V-O-R-C-E of The First Born and Baby Mama was finalized. Believe it or not, I'm kinda sad. Not about the marriage (sorry) they were so young it was just a matter of time, but I am sad because I really love her. She is sweet and a really good mom. I'm glad she is still in our lives and that she is raising my grand kids.

The shout out is to her and all single moms that are working, going to school, or whatever and trying to raise their children. I admire you. I consider myself lucky, just to be a stay at home mom, and I am married to a guy who is more nurturing than I am. I wish my son wouldn't have been on drugs most of their marriage so they could have made a go of it.

My next shout out is to the unbelievable lady down the street who just so happens to be married to The Guy On The Corner.

First of all, WB has been in the hospital again. He is home now. It was a routine shunt-fail-get-a-new-one neurosurgery. We like to look at it as a 3000 mile oil change. No, it is not normal, he just is....oh whatever he is, it's not suppose to happen but it does to him. Anyway...we are not private people I blog for hell's sake, but we don't like everyone to know when he is in the hospital because we don't like to have people fuss over us and you know how those Mormons are...they fuss over EVERYTHING and they is why we are all whacked and half of us are on Prozac.

But Em, she is one of those really mom's that actually like her kids. They are ALL great kids and I do hate her for that but every year at Christmas she makes these awesome orange rolls for some of the more needy people in the neighborhood. Maybe she just wanted to give them to us only one year, but I was not about to let that happen! Around August I start the lowering of the bar and begging. Seriously, they are that good! And she brings them HOT, straight out of the oven.

This year, I took the empty pan back to them and said "please sir, can I have some more?" They laughed at me and I wasn't even kidding. Really. I wasn't. When she makes them she doesn't make any for her family til new years and I thought if she made a batch for her family she could make another one for mine. This is logical in my little pea brain.

Well...I didn't get any!!! Can you believe that? After all that begging and lowering of standards?
Thank goodness for the always sick WB!!! Are you ready for this? Last night, hot out of the oven. the coveted Orange Rolls!!!! I was going to take a photo and post it, but you have all seen empty pans before, so I didn't think you would care. Dang they were soooooo good!

Can you believe her snotty little son who brought them, actually asked if he could have one? Tried to tell me that his family never did get any! Like THAT mattered to me. Did he think that it would pull on my non-existent heart strings? Yes, I did give him one. The smallest one. And don't think it will not cost him dearly! I will milk that one until next Christmas!

I told Homer that I wished that I had a "thing" that I could make or bake for them, and you know what he said to me? "Well, you just haven't found it yet." Are you kidding me? I have been slaving over him for almost 28 years and he couldn't come up with something off the top of his head? My jaw dropped! I will never cook or bake for him again as long as I live!!!!!

Well...a shout out the Em and all of you fuss budgets out there that make needy people feel loved. (maybe she was just trying to shut me up). I gotta tell ya, blogging is great. You can say things about people who never read said blog and they will never know!!!

Gotta get Better!

Well I was going to wow you all with great photos of life at the Rader's, but SOMEONE crashed my computer (mom!) and we have been waiting for my computer guy to restore everything. I keep telling him I need my favorites back!!! It is kinda scary how much we depend on a computer and store everything on it and when it crashes...I really want to kill people!!!

I had some great photos, especially the one of McFly when she shaved her eyebrows on her 12th birthday no less!! Yup...shaved from the top down and the sides off. I was so MAD I really wanted to beat the livin' daylights out of her but I guess looking stupid was punishment enough. Sad thing was...she didn't think it looked that bad! Seriously...was she adopted or what? That is such a Rader thing...not a Hall thing of course.

WB has been sick for a couple of weeks so I have been sequestered to the house leaving only to teach Relief Society because I am such a spiritual giant!!!!! Oh I kill myself sometimes I am so funny!!!! Hey it was my goal to become more spiritual this year and it is not working out so well for me. I do WANT it, I just gotta WORK for it.

I realize these are random ramblings but I finally saw Julie And Julia. I also wanted to be all positive and write something fetching everyday...but we can all see how that worked out for me also. Oh yeah, great year for me so far huh?

I have set a goal to finish what I start! My good friend Saint Colly is the most organized, talented, finishing, perfectionist I have ever met.Gee, that made sense didn't it? Yes...she annoys the crap out of me because we are at far different ends of the spectrum (yes...she is a spiritual saint) but she is the type that makes you feel good and worthwhile when you are with her and she does inspire me! So...I am going to finish 2 quilts before I start another one, Yea me.

As for inspiration, you all inspire me to laugh at myself (and others), be happy, and do my best...because that is what I see all of you doing. So funny and so talented...just trying to make it through another day just like me. So Julie...bite me! I can not cook like Julia although I love her, and I can't commit to doing something cool like you everyday except to not kill anyone. That is as good as it gets my friend.