Wednesday, September 1, 2010

My Journey From Bitterness to Forgiveness...for CRASH!!!

Well sorry to say this whole problem started with Jack Johnson. Yes good old JJ. Crash(insert linky thingy here. Someone please e-mail me and tell me how to do it)! Anyway...Crash had a contest for JJ tickets in SLC and I must have entered 50 times and I did NOT win!!! How could that be? Seriously Crash...I think it was rigged. Some other sweet soul won but she is an innocent victim in all of this unless she is Crash's BFF and I just don't know about it.

I was so unset about it that I could not even sleep at night with such hard feels. I mean really. Does she kick puppies? Does she text and drive at the same time? Does she? Who would not let me win?

I tried so hard to figure out a way to get back at her but realized that it was just too much work to be mad so I decided to forgive her and the blessings just started to flow. Yes! Hallelujah! It does pay to take that high road! My ex-SIL Shoe Girl called...

Oh Yeah!!! Michael Buble'!!!

15th row...front and center!!!

Now if I was petty and completely a wicked woman I would say nanny nanny!!!
But of course I would never do that.
This is me and Shoe Girl. Don't let looks fool you, I am the slutty one. And she is making me look fatter than I really am.

I really hate going places with her. Yes she is fun and stuff, but she does get gawked at, stared and drooled at, women despise her and she has even been stalked with me there. Seriously. We had to call the cops. I was throwing myself at that dang stalker and he still wanted her!

Well soon as you apologize to me and tell me how jealous you are that I got to see Michael Buble', (I like to call him Michael Bubble because it freaks McFly out. It gets her every time! She yells at me! "Mom! It's not Bubble. It's Buble')! then Crash and only then will my journey be complete. And...why won't he come to Vegas anyway? Does he think we are all sinners and big fat liars? Well maybe we are. About Crash anyway. That sweet spirit her.

Speaking of McFly she finally saw all 3 Back To The Future's. I told her that is where we got her nick name from. She didn't get it. And there we are.

If Crash ever speaks to me again because I'm a big rude to her, I will tell her that me and my BFF's are going to bring her a booty load of fabric for her Magic Quilt. (insert linky thingy here) I have lots of quilter friends you know.
And forgiveness is a wonderful thing.


Kristina P. said...

I think you should solve this with jello wrestling.

Barbaloot said...

You are much better than I would be. Not only would I say 'nanny nanny' and show pictures, but I would extol the virtues of Michael Bubble (I call him that, too---but it's cuz I can't pull off that accent name without sounding lame) over what's-his-face Johnson.

Homer and Queen said...

I am in with the jello wrestling. And more nanny nannies!

Melinda said...

You're pretty. And I think I see the stalker looking at her over her shoulder right there in that picture!! That was very rude of Crash, I bet you she DOES text and drive!!!

Sherri said...

Sorry you didn't get the Jack Johnson tickets...but wow...great seats for Michael Bubble!

Missy said...

Yes, definitely go with Kristina's suggestion. Great post!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Bwahahahahaha oh my gosh I was laughing so hard!

Does she kick puppies? Does she text while she is driving?


Aaahhhh I needed that.

I'm totally jealous of you and ur ex SIL (who is to hot for her own good-she can't come and break her neck looking at cowboys...just sayin)

I love Michael Bubble!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Way to go, and I think you look smokin hot also.

Amy Joy said...

Your SIL needs to get some damn clothes on

Amy Joy said...

just bc I didn't put lol doesn't mean I am not joken'....just bitter bc I am fat....right now....not forever....I'm mumbling do you still follow

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hahahaha Jello wrestling it is!

FOR THE RECORD! Queenie didn't even enter that tamn contest so there!

But Queenie, as soon as you send me that buttload of fabric I'll make it all up to you.

And YES I am so dang jealous you got to see Michael Bubble. I LUB HIM. Very much. Almost as much a JJ. I bet he's not nasty either. Like your x-sil.

This post was heelarious, especially the part about me kicking puppies. HA. Could I ever kick my little Lulu? And ftr, I don't text and not drive, let alone text and drive.

You're right about your x-sil making you fatter than you are. I've seen you in real life.

MAHALO for your forgiveness.

My deepest and sincerest apologies for not letting you win the contest you didn't enter.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

P.S. Amy Joy cracked me up.

Nezzy said...

Woohoo! How great is that and you two look so cute together there at the MB concert.

Golly gee, this makes me want to forgive Publishers Clearing House. Heeehehehe!

God bless ya and have a terrific day!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I came in on this late, but this is hilarious! So glad I came here after you found me. :)