Motherhood?

It's been another long week at the zoo, McFly hates me and makes sure that I know it every minute of everyday...but help is on the way! I have an appointment with a Neuropsychologist, so at least she can tell me if I am raising a Sociopath or not!

I had to teach RS yesterday at our church, and I went early to talk to the Bishop and of course he was out of town! Next thing I know...Guy-On-The-Corner who is in my ward asks me how I am and I burst into tears! Now...I pride myself on being known as the chick with no heart or feelings...and I am crying like a little girl! Hello! Uncomfortable! Not only for me but for him as well! Not only does he think we are THE white trash of the neighborhood...he now is feeling sorry for Homer thinking that he has a total basket case for a wife! And to top it all off...he was very nice to me, gave me good advice, AND didn't make fun of me or roll his eyes at me once (that I could see anyway)!

Then to make things worse...he has really good kids and a great wife, so now they both are going to know how pathetic I am...and I swear if he tells one person that I am really a big baby, I will toilet paper his perfectly manicured lawn! I will, I will!

How Homer puts up with me I will never know! I hate that he is a better mother than I am...but hey...I can yell, and he never does unless it is in some kind of sports...never loses his cool, and is never down. Me on the other hand, I internalize everything! So glad he keeps me in check...but he can't cook worth crap!

So let this be a warning to all of you...do not tell anyone that I am sensitive or that I care about anyone...cause I don't...seriously...

It's Official!

Well...it is official! I am a bad mother! I know, I know...you are all surprised to find out this little tidbit of info, but it is true! McFly dropped the birth mother card on me! She is 11 yrs old and has known who her birth mother was for about...3 months! Plus...the woman died last summer and she has only met her 3 or 4 times!



Seriously? At least when my other kids hated me I could at least tell them I gave birth to them and was in labor for like 6 days! Ok, 4 hours, but that is not the point! They were stuck with me! McFly wants to go live with her birth grandparents now because I made her do her homework...noooo...no History Genius' for me Crash! It is so not fair!

Should I lock her in her room for the rest of her life or will CPS come after me? And do I care? I'm just sayin...

Serious Post...Seriously...

Does anyone out there have experience with RAD? (Reactive Attachment Disorder) I have read about 5 books, been to every web site, so I want to know if anyone has close experience with this little problem of mine! Please e-mail me...before I have to start taking drugs, 'cause they are not working on McFly!

Check this out...

After I wrote my post (see below) I read another lil sister blog...this chicky-poo is funny...check her out! BlokThoughts

Ginormous Dilemma!

I have a huge decision to make! I am thinking of changing Cute Sisters name to Mean Sister!

Now, here she is with Wheelchair Boy, she is very good to him and loves him lots, so that is a plus. The other day I called her (she lives about 20 minutes away) and told her I was having a bad day and I needed a Red Mango. So, if you have every HAD a yogurt from Red Mango, you know what I am talking about! She laughed at me...LAUGHED!

Well, as I was finishing a quilt I was making...in walks little sister. Did I mention that little sister is 21 years younger than I am? Psycho Sister was the youngest and she was 17 when Cute Sister was born...I still have nightmares when I think about my parents doing...well you know...

Back to my dilemma, lil' sis walks in with a Red Mango! I have never felt such joy! I reached for it with tears in my eyes...then...here it comes...she tells me I have to go for a walk first! A WALK! Not only a walk a really, really FAST walk! She made me walk 2 and1/2 miles really fast as she literally jogged circles around me...literally!! Does it get any meaner? My poor 51 year old legs were like jelly! Did I mention that she is, like, skinny...and cute...and works out everyday? I really kind of hate her! For her being cute and skinny and all...I'm just sayin'...

THEN...as I am trying to forgive her...she calls me and says..."He went to Jared's!" WHAT THE FLAGNON! Yes people...Guitarman went to Jared's for their 5th anniversary! Diamond necklace, ring, and bracelet! Rubbin' THAT in my 27 married years face! Homer hasn't ever been to Jared's! (OK in his defense...I did get a beautiful Vintage wedding ring for my 25th, but that wouldn't make my story very good now would it?)

So what do yo think? Should I change her name?

Conference Weekend Guilt

Is it just me? Am I the only one that feels guilt after watching conference? Is it possible to feel so lifted up and so much sorrow at the same time? I really don't think that it is meant that way. It seems like one talk is given that gets me all rev'ed up then BAM! the next one comes and I want to crawl in a hole. I would like to take this moment to thank my Ma for having the guilt gene ingrained in me forevermore. I'm just sayin'...

It is amazing how strong your testimony can grow listening to the council of the Prophet. Don't you just love Pres. Monson?! Even my spawn enjoyed it! I wish He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless could have heard what was said. It would have been good for him to know that he is not alone and his life will not get better until he pulls his head out! Again...I'm just sayin'...

In a small way, I am greatful for that guilt gene, (in a small way) I guess it does keep me on the straight and narrow, well...it doesn't KEEP me there, me testimony keeps me there, but the guilt gene does give a much needed kick in the pants when I seem to get into life's little ruts. Elder Anderson said "The keeping of testimonies in these days will be a badge of honor through all the eternities", what a great thing that is! I hope that I am wearing that badge of honor, but I am sure that I will be so humble that I will not see it! I can't let you all think that I am going soft! That I am spiritual! I can't have that now can I!!!