Saturday, May 23, 2009

Comment for K.P.

I wanted to leave a really long comment on K.P. blog at/, she just cracks me up! But this subject is something I have a problem go and read her post about Pretty Woman 'cause it is too funny. Go and read it before you read this...GO!
Are you back? Did you leave a comment? She is a comment whore you know! GO!
NOW are you back? Heeelarious huh? Now enough about her 'cause we all know that it is all about me! ME ME ME!!!
So...a couple of years ago we went to Lake Tahoe for a week, guys golfed, we shopped, and of course. Well my Shoe Girl, (my SIL) and I were shopping and she smiled at a guy. Needless to say...he followed us around, first the store, then from shop to shop. At first it was funny, then it started to get kind of scary. Finally we got in the car, and we lost him, we thought! We went into a store to get a diet coke and he followed us in. Well HER in!
By this point I was way creeped out and had the guy at the counter call the cops. They came and hand cuffed the guy, questioned him, blah, blah, blah. She Girl was pretty scared.
While the officer was talking to us, I asked him why I didn't get a stalker. I never get a stalker unless it is a bill collector or repo man! That darn cop did not even offer to frisk me! What does a girl have to do to get frisked?!
At the airport? No, just take your shoes off. Pulled over for speeding? No...just your license! Do I look that homely and molly that cops don't even feel the need to pat me down?
Now granted, Shoe Girl is hot, 'course she is WAY younger than I, like about 2 or 3 years...but seriously? I can't even get the valet guy at the mall to frisk me!
So must be tough to be super hot, your stalkers and all. The only males that follow me around are related and just want money.
Do I have to take a sharp object to the airport? Sewing scissors? Crochet hook?
Not having Superhotism is not as fun as you think! We may get all the movie roles of homely mothers and stuff, but we can't even get frisked for smuggling candy into the theater!
What is wrong here?
Now don't get me wrong...I don't WANT to be stalked, I just want to be hot enough to BE stalked...without the creepy guy. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and for all of you that went/read/heard conference...I have to teach Jeffery R. Holland's talk. Any thoughts? Before tomorrow? E-mail me...thanks.


Princess Danell said...

I feel your pain. I have never had a stalker. My girlfriends were always the beauties and I was the one with "personality". Screw that, I wanna be hot too. In the last 3 years I have tried to improve my hotness. I had Lasik, oral surgery and braces and lost (actually gave away) 20 lbs. I'm even thinking about putting a Paypal site up on my blog for donations for my boob job. Big Daddy is still looking into the legal ramification. But still, no hotness. I think I'll have to wait for my "Celestial Hotness". If desperate, may committ suicide to get there faster. But then, does killing myself eliminate the possiblity of Celestial Hotness? What does Elder Holland say about that?

The Scott Family said...

You're too funny. I can't even come up with a clever comment. ;( Good luck with your lesson.

Kristina P. said...

Oh, how I love this! SOmeone left a comment and said that it's worst not being the pretty girl, or the token ugly friend. It's worst being right in the middle, because no one ever pays attention to you.

I will tell my own story. This is when I was about 16-17, and was at the beach in S. Cal with my really gorgeous cousin. We were walking to the restrooms, and some guys behind us were catcalling us (i.e. her.) I turned around and yelled something at them, and they yelled back, "We weren't even talking to you. We were talking to your hot friend!" That really made my day.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

LOL... oh my gosh this is GENIUS... you are HILARIOUS.

but...sigh... I don't get stalked either. It's sad really... I even wink at creepy guys at the mall and they NEVER follow me around.

I think it's my freckles?

My favorite part about that talk... is in the last paragraph when he states, "Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosa in our present day." Telling us that we MUSt live our lives so that he doesn't walk alone to confront OUR sin. :) Love ya!

Kritta22 said...

I'm with Shelle...that's my favorite part too.

I'm wanna be beautiful enough to HAVE a stalker too. Sign me up!

Missy said...

Everyone needs at least one stalker in her lifetime! I, too, are waiting for mine! My stalker better be careful! I might like it and return the favor! Can you stalk your stalker? LOL

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

too funny!!! I actually had someone make obscene phone calls to me kinda creeped me out cuz I never did find out who it was all I know is they wanted to do some naughty things to me!!!!

Crazy Cousin said...

Hi C., You are as funny as this girl is in every way!!!! Hell, she posts about some gay guy that wants to be the Governor of Utah!!
Mormontown electing a gay Governor???? HAHAHAHAHHA!!!
You on the other hand have a couple of jailbirds, McFly, Psycho sister, crazy cousin AND an anonymous mother! Hell, you got'em all beat!

Melinda said...

A guy from church seriously said this to me when I was a teenager: "Oh, you're the hot girls friend!" Jerk.

April said...

Love the segue from stalker into Jeffrey Holland...LOL!!! Oh...and I was stalked once...knew him. Do cavemen count?

Sheri said...

I'll talk to you! :)

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

Just wanted to wish you a HAppy birthday....after the comment you left me yesterday I wanted to remember that you said today is you big day and be one of the first to say it to matter how your feeling about getting older, enjoy your day...have fun!!!!

Barbaloot said...

I followed the gazillion links Shelle had and made my way over here. I'm jealous you got to meet her and April.

As far as super hotness, I've taken to putting little to no make-up on and not doing my hair to avoid being stalked. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Or maybe I needed an excuse as to why I was NOT getting stalked. You'll never know.

My thought on the talk: I also like to remember that not only are we never alone in times of trial---but that he shares in our joy with us as well.

April said...


Kristina P. said...

What?!! It's your birthday?

Well, I was coming over here to tell you to go to my blog! You have a birthday present waiting for you.

April said...

WHAT??? You won!!! You cheated!! Ok, whatever! Congrats! ;)

Kelly said...

found you through KP today. Very funny blog! Happy Birthday too.

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