Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Family...you gotta love 'em!

This is a boring, serious post but this has been on my mind lately and I really need to vent.
Am I the only one that has a whacked out family? I mean seriously?
Yesterday I had to go to court with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and Baby Mama...they are looking at doing serious time on drug and gun(s) charge. Going into the courthouse, I think is enough to keep anyone straight.
I really did teach him well, but unfortunately, we does have his agency to choose (did I really vote for that)? Yes, I pray constantly and cry often for him and my grandchildren. Baby Mama has cleaned up and is doing great, is a wonderful mom and he is getting better every day.
OK, back to my story...he has some cousins (not to mention uncles and an aunt) who have gone the way of I-really-don't-know-what-to-call-it. More things happen to him in one week than I will ever see in my lifetime. These boys (cousins), hang out with bad people and do really dumb things.
Yesterday, for all of you Utahans, one of those boys robbed a Walgreen at gunpoint in Provo...all for Oxycontin, because he really has an addiction. In order to keep my sanity, all day long I kept saying..."it's a good day to be a Rader!"
Well it is amazing the comments that I have heard within the family and outside of it. Many of the members of this family have no tolerance for empathy for these boys! First of all, I am far from an enabler, but I do love these boys and I know that changes can be made. Yes, I do love to make fun of them and talk smack about them, but...I when I married Homer I knew that there were drug addicts in his family and I come from an addictive family myself, so I kinda knew what I was signing up for. Didn't quite think that MY sweet boy would be right there with them.
I welcome these delinquents into my home, (yes, I have all our drugs for Wheelchair Boy in a safe), and they will always be welcome unless they steal from us. They are family. Some members of our family won't allow them in their house, and that is their business, I don't judge.
My SIL and I were joking about changing our names, her to her maiden name me to Mrs. Jack Bauer, as we were talking about how dumb our nephew was. After that, I remembered how alone I felt in trying to deal with my child. My friends are VERY supportive, but hey, they all have perfect kids, and don't really know how I feel. When I talked to my other SIL and felt the hurt from her, I had to apologize for my Karma coming back and biting her in the butt!
Family. In our hardest and loneliest times, if we can't count on our family to love us no matter what, who can we count on? Friends come and go, but for most of us, family is always there, whacked as they are.
Yes, I will continue to love and hug on these loser boys, and yes, I will continue to talk smack about them on my blog, but I do care about what happens to them, worry about them, and will always pray for them, and continue to not give them money. Why? 'Cuz that's what I signed up for.
Yes...it is a good day to be a Rader.


Jen said...

HE SUCKS!!!!!!! Don't worry about him. And Im not high-n-mighty tan chick either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amy Joy said...

first of all I wish I were high n mighty tan chick. 2nd you totally should get another award. It means more to me than anything in my life to be able to tell people that my Mom sucked but I have this really great aunt and uncle. It was very strange to see someone you love in a picture like that. this may sound strange but don't take it personal. You are amazing and at least they know they are always welcome somewhere. Me and my babies (that love you) will always come to your home and have special days. You didn't put my mom out and that means you didn't me. If others don't follow that example lets just hope they NEVER REALLY have to get it. For their sake I hope they never get it. It can be hard having the softest hard heart.

TeTa and JeB said...

Hey, you can't save the world, but you can die trying.
We just have to be grateful for what we have or don't have. Of course I am one of the friends that have close to perfect children and perfect grandbabies.
Love you sweet pea....hang in there.

April said...

It's called unconditional love. You rock! I am totally into venting it's very therapeutic. BTW, you signed up for this, I signed up for other crap. True story!

Kristina P. said...

Oh, honey, I need to start an anonymous blog, just for my mom alone. Seriously. One word: delusional.

And we;ve definitely had drug addiction/hospitalizations in my family. Probably why I went into social work.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Now you are right... I don't know how you feel, and I hope I really never do... BUT my brother who has strayed off the path my parents laid out for him ;) has caused all of our family much grief.

But Through somewhat of a "mourning" process I, personally, have come to terms with his decisions... and just love him... I'm just glad it's not me that has to judge him in the end!

Love ya Queen!

Sandra said...

This is a lot of trouble. I hope your nephew can get help for his addiction and understand the seriousness of what he did. It's hard not to let it break your heart, but you can only offer support to those who are willing to take the helping hand. In the end though I think it is better to err on the side of kindness. Feel better.

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

all I can do is send you one big ((HUG)) showing people that you care is one of the most important things we can do in this life

wesley's mom (sue) said...

Crazy crazy crazy. My family is NUTS. You are sooo not the only one, and if you can't vent on your OWN BLOG, sheesh! Go right ahead. Isn't that what blogs are for?

I'm sorry for you and your family. Sometimes people just do stupid things, but that shouldn't make us stop caring about them. It might make us angry or sad but it doesn't sound like you are blind to the issues, OR like you are enabling anyone.

Good luck.

Homer and Queen said...

Thanks for the loves and hugs you guys! You are the best!!!

Princess Danell said...

You're My Hero, Queen!

. said...

You never did say, did I get any of the "Queens" right?
P.S. hoping WB is on the mend!