Phoenix Trip

OK...Kristina P., here I am updating...(check out her blog, it's freakin' funny but don't tell her I said that, she gets a big head...and she hates Edward...and I finally saw the movie and I did like it although I will never admit to it. Wheelchair boy watched it 4 times in 2 days...so I am now an expert on it and I have to say I am a James fan...he likes to play with his food and so do I!!!

It has been a LLLOOOONNNGGGGG week...I jacked my back up and was laid up for a couple of days and still had to help my Ma move to her new apartment. (insert whine here), then we went to Phoenix to see Princess PePe and The Boy.

As we were in the car I was taking pics, trying to get to know my camera. This is part of the new bridge...do ya think ya want to drive over this when it is done?

NOt looking so safe to me!!

Creepy?

More creepy?

Great sculpture

Look how much to water line has dropped!

Wheelchair Boy in the front seat...am I not supposed to be second in command?

McFly in the very back. We got a new Durango with 3 seats so I wouldn't have to sit with her (Miss OCD)!! She was STILL trying to rearrange my seat and put everything up with me so her area would be clean!

When we got to Glendale, or where ever we were, Baby Mama and the kids met us at the motel and we went to Peter Piper Pizza (kid's choice),

and me being the good grammy that I am...had to deal with it!

Chicken Nuggets (pretty good too) 'cause The Boy "I don't like pizza, I only like chicken nuggets"...

Nasty Pizza

The Boy coming out of the play tunnels

All I could think about was all of the germs, snot, and who knows what on all of the toys! It was really creeping me out! How often do you think they clean those things?

Wheelchair Boy dong what he always does, respecting his MaMa!

After we ate we went to the high class toy store Wal-Mart to take the kids birthday shopping. When they turn 3, we take them to the store and what ever they can carry to the register, they get to keep. We do it at 3 because they haven't quite figured out the electronics department yet.

The Boy got 2 monster cars and a big wheel

Princess PePe's birthday was the week before, so she got herself a princess bike

She rode her bike through the store (only a grandma would let a kid do that!) and he pushed his goods down the isle while we video taped it!

This is our very nice checker-outer lady!

Homer was trying to put the big wheel together with no tools...The Boy was so excited and so patient...a trait he did NOT get from his father...

Can you believe how many extra parts they put in boxes of toys? I tried to tell Homer that I think they went somewhere, but NNNOOOOOOOO!!!

The kids stayed in the motel with us, he talks in his sleep and fell off the bed twice without waking up and PePe snores...

Look at this!!! Ramada Inn! This is our shower in the handicap room! And it leaked all night long!

I took a shower with flip flops on.

Princess PePe had a soccer game and Baby Mama is getting her ready

Wheelchair Boy is so excited!

Homer tried to get her on the field and she would not go and play! She is so stubborn!

The Boy was happy!

Here I am trying to pay her to play...

She did go out and cheer in the end!

After that we went and saw Monster's vs Aliens...too funny! I highly recommend it for kids and adults...

Road Trip

I have been on a road trip, I had to go to Utah to a funeral, Mrs Hayes a teacher I had a kabillion years ago. She was a Home Ec teacher and I really loved that woman! We had a class once about birth defects and drugs and big mouth me piped up and said,

"I would love to have a handicapped child, I hope I have one!"

Well, as we all know...that one came back to bite me in the butt!

I have thought about her everyday for 22 years and called an old friend about a month ago and found out she had moved to Vernal, Utah. I never did get her address...I wanted to write and tell her how much she meant to me, how much of an impact she has had on my life and I never did! So...if any of you have anyone in your life like that write that note NOW!!!

Here are a couple of my old friends, with psycho sister on the left end...in Wranglers no less.

I had to drive 2 days in an extremely SMALL SUV, and it got smaller by the minute! I told Homer that I was going to kill her and bury her body off the side of the road! I thought about it, but I did not want to be in prison with with my relatives!

We did have to stop at every Maverick convenience store on the way up to find me a new White Trash Cup. It is a nice bright orange, it's the one on the far left. It's a nice 52 ouncer...

The big one is 120 ouncer! It is very white trash and I got it in Logandale is any of you all want one. I tried to find a bright green one 'cause Teta has one and I have to copy her, I'm just sayin'...

Last week Wheelchair boy and I went with Teta to Extreme Makeover Home Edition, they are here in Vegas! I will post on it later, the big reveal is tomorrow and he was invited...I just get to go because I am the driver! He watches every episode on every channel so we watch it several times a day. It was pretty exciting for him, therefore...exciting for me!

So write that note to someone you love and I will never get all sappy on you again...

Pity Party is Over!!

Well, I've been on a pity party for 2 weeks now and no one is feeling sorry for me but me! Teta and Nuts both told me to suck it up and get over myself, so I did. Well, I didn't but I'm saying I did. I finally finished Shoe Girl's cabinet! My mom hates it , she said it still looks old! I tried to explain to her that that was the point!

This is our white trash yard. We pulled our dead tree out and planted 2 semi dead trees in it's place.


My daffodils came up!!!

We put in a new walk way for all of our white trash friends that constantly walk on our dead lawn. How rude! Do you notice how straight it is not?

These are our stupid white trash dogs! All they do is eat, drool, and bark!

Someday we will fix up this side of our yard, so you see Moby peeing on everything? I hate it!Good thing the Yorkie keeps those Mastiffs in line!

Maybe we will get the Christmas in the attic tonight...oh wait! Is there ANY kind of a game on tonight? Cause if there is... nothing will get done!

I did get tagged by my EX-EBFF Farm girl, so let me figure out how to get all my Jacks on that island and I will be there honey!!!

P.S. Denial is still working for me...

Oblivion

Well, Satan is alive and well and masquerading as a filthy rich black woman with really great skin. Yes, I have said it...Oprah is Satan. All of the things that I have always loved doing, I can no longer do because of Oprah.

I loved going to movies...then Satan does a germ show and now I am all freaked out about feces getting in my hair at the theater. In all the (few) times I have gone in the last couple of years, I take my Germ-X wipes and wipe down the whole chair including the cloth seat, not that it helps, but it does make me feel better.

I can't touch stair rails, elevator buttons, etc...I could go on forever and have passed this fun trait onto Scooter...not that he isn't a freak already!!!

What about the Mom jeans?

Maybe I LIKE this look...

maybe I LOOK better in this look...

Maybe I don't WANT to look like this...maybe I don't like my undies to show, or my butt crack when I bend over...or...just maybe...I already look like this.

Let's talk about the bras...I remember the days when I was comfortable in my wrong sized, old, worn bras...but NO!!!! I have to go and buy the $80 "Oprah" bra just because she has it on her favorite things show and everybody got one so I wanted one! I have never been so uncomfortable in my whole life!!!

Is she comfortable or not?

Maybe this chick liked her overflowing boobage!

I am sick of Satan's minions also...especially the one pretending to be one Dr. Oz. Do I really have to look at my poop to see if it is "S" shaped? Seriously?

I have decided to cast Satan off of my High Def DVR and never feel guilty again. I have trashed the "Oprah " bra, never to be worn again!!! I will eat butter! I will not stress about germs (really?), and I will keep drinking my Diet Coke! I will not let my underwear hang out of my jeans!!! Are you with me?!!! Seriously...are you with me?

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I've decided that I want Pink to be my Valentine...because I want to be her when I grow up. I love her. She probably has a plumber. And she doesn't have kids. And she is just hot. And not old...like me...

Homer did fix the sink yesterday, and it only has 2 leaks. We know have a big pan under the sink instead of cleaning products. Lucky me. Does this mean I don't have to clean anymore? That's what I get for snagging me a CPA instead of a plumber.

Homer took me to dinner for Valentine's Day last night (since Pink has blocked my calls) and to see Danny Gans. Pretty entertaining, (Thanks Uncle Juan!) We also went to the buffet at the Wynn. Tell me, what happened to the good old days of $4.99 buffets? $39.99!!! What the hell! I can't eat $39.99 worth of food! Homer had to get his money's worth though! Only 12 huge crab legs to start...

Anyway, Wheelchair Boy asked Homer for his permission to ask me to be his Valentine since he didn't have one...talk about sweet! That would break my heart if I had one! What great thing did I do in the pre-existence to deserve him?

Pay it forward

The Rules1. Be one of the first Three (3) bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.
2. Winners, you must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift for the first 3 bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!
3. The gift that you send to your three Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!
4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love!If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Please take the button and post it on your blog; start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!

Amy made me do this! Since I am not handy or crafty, I will make a macaroni necklace like Ames! Or maybe I will make a kilt for my new BFF Kristina P. or maybe not..

Tamale Thursday

It is official again...not only are we still white trash, soon I will be shaving my chin every morning with Homer...

Homer here.....what the #$@%!!! I put a temporary fix on the stinkin kitchen faucet (that Nancy broke) to give the little "WENCH" some access to water for a couple days until the new part comes in so I can fix the little fella on the cheap (instead of spending 150 large for a new matching faucet SET) and do I get a "thanks...You da man" maybe a little "thanks for the temporary fix, somebody gonna be gettin some sugar tonight." Noooooooooooo, I get mocked, belittled, and humiliated (which is tough to do to me since I am basically shameless). I telling you that this is the last time I come running to HER rescue. Don't even try to appologize and suck up to me - its to late and I really mean it.....unless you do some really serious suckin up (like maybe a homemade rubarb pie with the lard crust or something big like that). Action is the only thing that can save you now babygirl.

White Trash Tuesday

Spring is coming to my house!

Anyways, we are once again officially white trash! You know, after 27 years of marriage, I have gotten used to growing the wheatgrass...one my window sills, in my fridge, even in my oven, but look at the faucet in the kitchen!

It was broken at the Sunday night widow's dinner,

(this is the start of Homer's wheatgrass)

THIS!!! This is what Homer did to my faucet until the part comes 'cause he was too cheap to buy a new one!!! Oh yeah...white trash at it's best! I got the white trash big dogs, white trash yard, blah, blah, blah...this is what I get for living in a trailer at BYU (married student housing), and they tore it down so I have no proof that it was student housing!

Last weekend we went to St. George for Juan's birthday bash and stayed one night at the Seven Wives Inn. (Thanks Miss Shoes!) It was great, and if you have never stayed there, you should sometime. The owners are a wonderful young couple and GREAT cooks. Be sure and have the baked oatmeal for breakfast...when Homer kicks, I want to marry the cook!

Me...asleep

Julia Room...they are all named after the wives!

Beautiful!

OK, so, I did have a seriously traumatic event happen to me.

Now, I am not a vain person, (OK, so yes I am, but...) I lost my make-up bag out of my purse somewhere around all those Mormons in St. George! Gone! Every lipstick, gloss and liner I owned...all M.A.C. I might add...so I am walking around looking dead! 50 and looking dead...never mind I am almost there, but it is a sin to look it...like I don't have enough problems as it is...