For Women Only!!!

This post is for women only!!! Seriously!!! If you are a guy you may comment and give your opinion, but if you are in my ward or otherwise related, we will NEVER speak of this! And yes, I can be blackmailed...

I have been taking a photography class because I want to be Shelle at BlokThoughts, when I grow up...no seriously, I don't want to take photos for money, I just want to take pics of really old things...architecture, barns, Homer, etc.

Anyway, I was looking at Teach's portfolio, and she has some great work! Which brings me to a question I want to throw out there...I REALLY need some opinions...I want to get a boudoir photo taken for Homer! OK STOP LAUGHING!!!! You will NEVER see it!!!! I promise I will not hang it on the wall next to my Jesus pictures, or display it at my 30 wedding anniversary.

Have you ever thought about it?

Have you ever done it?

Teach had some that were very tastefully done, even of old hags like me! Heavy set women looked gorgeous!

Am I totally creeping you out?

No Boobi showing...just photo shopped skin...what do you think?

Seriously Neighbor Guy on the corner...not a word!!!

Only 55 Days ' til BYU Game Day!

Hey all! Well I am kind of back, Wheelchair Boy is out of the hospital, but he was sick again after 2 days...so we have been doing mega doses of steroids to see if it blows his ventricles open. If it doesn't work, just kill me! This is a cool photo of his head after surgery. Peeps does a great job with his stitches...it makes a quilter proud!

Well, only 55 days until the first BYU game! It will be in Dallas at their brand new stadium, BYU kickin' butt on Oklahoma! I was going to invite Hamster Chick to go and pay her way...but she did not invite me to go to the meet and greet in Provo, so she is a big loser!!! LOL

Last weekend we had a BBQ with my cute nephew Max and all of his in-laws. Now, I hate to brag...and I hate even worse to be a name dropper...but my nephew Max just happens to be the starting QB for BYU! Not only are we proud of him for that, but since he grew up in AZ., and we grew up in the hospital here, we missed most of the important events in his life, so we feel like since we went to BYU and love BYU, that we just as well make him think that we like him, so we support him and go to all of his games.

We really don't like him that much...he just has really good taste in women, and we love his wife! No really, he is a great guy and a really poor loser! Wheelchair Boy whipped his butt in Madden, and he cried!

Anyway, we had a great time a really fun dance off!

This is Kinz, Max's wife, doing her thing!

Kinz' mom...who is cute and SWEET (something I will NEVER be) used to own a dance studio, need I say more? Go Ness!

This is my mom, wearing my brand new apron from Anthro...doing I don't know what, but it was funny!!

Cute Sister doing her thing to "All The Single Ladies"...

Kinz' Baby Sister...so talented and sweet!

Ness and her man Jerry (with goofy Pitta looking over his shoulder!)

Mom and Ness

How cute is their nephew!

Kinz' bro and his wife

Dennis and Mataya Pitta

(yes...he can smile, and yes...he is mean to me!)

Pitta thinks I am old and lets me know it!

Wheelchair Boy begged to come home from the hospital early so we could have that party. He loves Max and no matter how uncomfortable he gets, or how bad he is hurting, he sticks it out for his boys! Yes, we bleed blue! I team has always been great to him and I really appreciate that which brings me to the point that I am still bitter Bryan Keihl is getting married. So hot that boy!

Wheelchair Boy...

I'll be taking a break for about a week guys, Wheelchair Boy is in the hospital getting a new shunt...he has been sick for about a week now, and I'm just getting around to taking him in. What a good mother I am!

He hasn't been in the hospital for 2 years now, so we figure he need his 2000 mile oil, lube, and filter change!!! At least that is the story I'm telling Homer, I really just wanted to see my hot Neurosurgeon Dr. Peeps and his sassy little assistant Princess!

Don't worry...all will be well, Peeps will take good care of my boy and seriously...could my life really suck any more than it already does?

Signed,
Mrs. Jack Bauer or maybe Mrs. Michael Weston

Family...you gotta love 'em!

This is a boring, serious post but this has been on my mind lately and I really need to vent.

Am I the only one that has a whacked out family? I mean seriously?

Yesterday I had to go to court with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and Baby Mama...they are looking at doing serious time on drug and gun(s) charge. Going into the courthouse, I think is enough to keep anyone straight.

I really did teach him well, but unfortunately, we does have his agency to choose (did I really vote for that)? Yes, I pray constantly and cry often for him and my grandchildren. Baby Mama has cleaned up and is doing great, is a wonderful mom and he is getting better every day.

OK, back to my story...he has some cousins (not to mention uncles and an aunt) who have gone the way of I-really-don't-know-what-to-call-it. More things happen to him in one week than I will ever see in my lifetime. These boys (cousins), hang out with bad people and do really dumb things.

Yesterday, for all of you Utahans, one of those boys robbed a Walgreen at gunpoint in Provo...all for Oxycontin, because he really has an addiction. In order to keep my sanity, all day long I kept saying..."it's a good day to be a Rader!"

Well it is amazing the comments that I have heard within the family and outside of it. Many of the members of this family have no tolerance for empathy for these boys! First of all, I am far from an enabler, but I do love these boys and I know that changes can be made. Yes, I do love to make fun of them and talk smack about them, but...I when I married Homer I knew that there were drug addicts in his family and I come from an addictive family myself, so I kinda knew what I was signing up for. Didn't quite think that MY sweet boy would be right there with them.

I welcome these delinquents into my home, (yes, I have all our drugs for Wheelchair Boy in a safe), and they will always be welcome unless they steal from us. They are family. Some members of our family won't allow them in their house, and that is their business, I don't judge.

My SIL and I were joking about changing our names, her to her maiden name me to Mrs. Jack Bauer, as we were talking about how dumb our nephew was. After that, I remembered how alone I felt in trying to deal with my child. My friends are VERY supportive, but hey, they all have perfect kids, and don't really know how I feel. When I talked to my other SIL and felt the hurt from her, I had to apologize for my Karma coming back and biting her in the butt!

Family. In our hardest and loneliest times, if we can't count on our family to love us no matter what, who can we count on? Friends come and go, but for most of us, family is always there, whacked as they are.

Yes, I will continue to love and hug on these loser boys, and yes, I will continue to talk smack about them on my blog, but I do care about what happens to them, worry about them, and will always pray for them, and continue to not give them money. Why? 'Cuz that's what I signed up for.

Yes...it is a good day to be a Rader.

I got an Award!!!

I got an award from Sandra at http://worldsendfarmthisandthat.blogspot.com/and feel so lucky!! I wish I could figure out how to put it on my side bar but I am side bar retarded. The rules are, I have to tell seven things about myself, I think seven things that nobody knows, and send this to seven people.

Well the problem is my life is pretty much an open book, I do have a big mouth and just say it, so I will try and make something up, then it is up to you to figure out is it is a lie or not! (hee hee hee)! Here goes:

1. I lost about 135 lbs. a couple of years ago. Yes a was a really fat girl, now I am just a fat girl!

2. I do not have a lot of self confidence...for example: my Psycho Sister told me a quilt I was making was the ugliest thing she had ever seen! I put it down and never picked it up again. That was two years ago! I had 3 rows to sew on to finish it. Well I did finish it this week and it is beautiful! Why do I do that?

3. I am a CSI, Forensic Files, anything to do with that kind of stuff. I feel a need to know there are people out there who have crappy lives too!

4. I worry way too much, so I don't watch the news. If I do, I can't sleep. If someone gets killed in a car wreck, I stress over it and their families. Ironic huh? (see #3) "TV" doesn't seems as real as the news to me. Also, this is one of the 100 reasons the bishop would never make me R.S. Prez., I would die of a heart attack worrying about other people.

5. I weed high maintenance people out of my life... (See #2) I don't need mean thoughtless people in my life...I've got family to do that.

6. I could never live without my Homer. Don't tell him I said that because he thinks if he dies on me I will marry either Jack Bauer or Jack Sparrow immediately. And if he leaves me, he's taking the kids!

7. Deep down, I am a spiritual person, but don't like people to know it. Hard shell, Soooo much better!


OK, not many people that are close to me (as in proximity) read this except Cute Sister and Crazy Cousin, and they already know what a fruitcake I am, so do NOT tell anyone about this!!! Especially #7, because I swear I will deny it!

THANKS SANDRA FOR MAKING ME BARE MY SOUL!!!

So here are my 7 people...(drum roll please!):

Banter, Buffoonery & Bloggy Blather
it's not as easy as it looks
Kingdom of the Princess
The (Trailer) Parks Farm
Protect & Provide
FINALLY!!!!
Is It Just Me?

I tried to pick people that have not been chosen before, this award has gone around I see, and also people who would answer it!

I just wanted to say Thank you so much to Cute Sister. On Monday, she surprised me and took me to a spa day at Green Valley Ranch. Have you ever had a hot rock massage? Oh. My. Gosh.
It was orgasmic! We then layed out at the pool all day and watched people (my favorite thing to do) then in for a facial. Yes, I do look 10 years younger, if only to myself. And don't worry, there will be no pictures. After that, on the way home we went to Red Mango!!! She did not even make me run for it ! (This time anyway)

Sometimes it is hard to express to someone how much you love them and how much an act of kindness has touched you. Yes, she knows how much I needed that day, with family stress and all, but she has no idea HOW much it meant to me. I think I will forgive her for being cute and skinny, and for making me run before I got a Red Mango. Well, I have to forgive her, she is my hairdresser. That could me ugly.

Oopie, you were so inspired! Thank you. I Love You.

Poor M.J.!!!

I went on a retreat for quilting of course and Wheelchair Boy got sick...first time in 2 1/2 years...I just told someone that so I am sure I jinxed myself! Anyway I had to come home 3 days early so I am bitter of course.

Anyway back to Michael Jackson!!!

I am so worried about my really good friend Kristina...she LOVES Michael Jackson and she is going to be so sad!!! So EVERYONE...please go to her blog at/http://adamandkristinapulsipher.blogspot.com/, and give your condolences to her. I'm not sure she will come back from this. She was there for his trial...front and center...and has never wained in her support, so let's support K.P.!!!

Deep thoughts...

When we travel, I try to think of ways to torture my children in the car so by passers won't see and judge me for being a mean mom and call CPS, so...I make them listen to seventies music!!!Full. Blast.

Homer and I sing at the top of our lungs just to really top it off and embarrass them. I remember knowing and singing to all the songs of the sixties and seventies growing up, knowing every word. Well, here we are singing along, and we listen to them alot so McFly has learned some of the words, and we are singing along to the song "Chevy Van" and McFly is singing also.

Have you paid attention to the words of the songs you grew up with!!!! Oh. My. Gosh!!! I was embarrassed!!! Was I stupid growing up? Did I just not pay attention to the words that I sang and just got into the music, or was I that naive that I don't know what it all meant?

We are talking about a guy who picks up a hitch hiker in his van and saying she has the face of an angel and tan legs and he is fantasizing about her while she sleeps and when she wakes up "she took me by the hand and we made love in my chevy van and that's alright with me".

It kind of takes you back when your children are listening to this stuff (although I will admit the song really takes me back in time), and then the next song..."One Toke Over The Line"...HELLO!!! what kind of crap are we listening to? And why do we call it "great music" when it's our stuff and garbage when it's their stuff? Do they listen to the words? I don't think I really did growing up, I just got into the tunes.

So...I'm a hypocrite, sue me. What do ya'll think? Am I going to hell and will you guys be there with me? I would enjoy the company...

Big Trauma!!!

We have had a serious trauma in our lives this week so I have been unable to post. Well here goes...

Wheelchair Boys' 65" big screen TV is broken...I know! IT is terrible! How would you like to lay in bed day in and day out with nothing to do! So me, being the selfish, I mean SELFLESS mother that I am...was forced to give up my computer screen for him. I Know! It is terrible!

Hopefully the guy will come back with the part tomorrow and WB is asleep right now, so I was able to steal a few minutes blogging. I miss you guys! I love to read your blogs and realize that your lives are just as pathetic as mine. Makes me feel good...just sayin'...

Second of all, my yorkie is in heat the the mastiff is going nuts! He corners her and she barks at him and bites him! It is kinda funny! He whines and cries and won't eat 'cuz he can't get himself a little somethin'-somethin'...I know! It's terrible! Typical male huh?!!

Also, this is to the chucklehead that suggested that I read the book "Miss Delacourt"...What the flagnon!!!??
I can diss Miss Heidi 'cuz she doesn't read this blog...so here goes...Very good book..well written, the girl has talent! BUTTT.....what the heck?!!! No smut? None? What is that all about Miss Heidi? I'm all alone on my B-day, feeling sorry for myself, thinkin' I would read me a smut novel...and low and behold...NO SMUT!!!! So now what...I can recommend this book to all of our Young Women? This is so going to kill my highly prized rebellious rep I've got going...(Just kidding Miss Heidi...but you could have at least thrown me a bone on my first historical novel!)

We have also had our grandkids since Friday...I am way too old to be a grandma! We took them to church Sunday, (they don't go), and after the Sacrament song (I Stand All Amazed), the boy yells at the top of his lungs "I want you people to stop singing" Oh it is so funny when you are not the mom!!

Also this is a HUGE SHOUT OUT to all of you young mothers...Princess PePe had an earache and was up all night crying...I had forgotten how hard the no sleep thing was! Admire ya...don't envy ya...just sayin'...

P.S. Read Miss Delacourt...but don't Miss Heidi I said so...

Yeah ME!!!!

I just read on K.P.'s blog... (See the post below) that I won a CD from the cute running skinny chick!!! Yeah me!!!

I has been a long week and I am so tired! I had to travel far, far, away...and care for my FIL while my BIL and Shoe Girl are at Disney World with their little darlings. Grandpa and I (we will call him Grandpa 'cuz, well gee...that's what my kids call him so EVERYONE calls him Grandpa.

Anyway...Grandpa is 84 and not doing so great, so I went to spent 3 days with him and ended up staying a week, I did have to spend my birthday alone, and I can live with that, because I had a GREAT lunch date with my new BBFF's Shelle and April, but I am bitter...I missed Phantom with Homer, so he took McFly!!! My 11yr old! Now you see why I'm bitter!? 8th row..in the middle...but she did LOVE it and was very grateful!

And besides that...right now I am watching Homer do PX90!!!! And I'm not doing it!!! He wouldn't let me take a picture of him, but I will another day...trust me! It will be worth it!!! Wheelchair Boy just said "that's not a workout! That's a freak show!!"

Below is the little dinky house I had to stay in with grandpa and 4 dogs.


I could not even pee without them following me! Don't tell Shoe Girl I told you this, but she spoon feeds her Yorkie, so guess who had to do that! Yep I sure did! Homer told me the only reason I was going to spoon feed that dog is so that I could blog about it! (well...he was kinda right!)

I would like to thank my mama for watching MY kids so I could take care of grandpa.

My niece Ames and her fam came from Penn. to visit, and there are all my nieces at our party! The one in the yellow graduated from high school today...Congrats!

I will do a better post tomorrow...but I HAD to do a photo of my first born...this is the first time I have seen him smile in 5 years...sad, but very true!

Comment for K.P.

I wanted to leave a really long comment on K.P. blog at/http://adamandkristinapulsipher.blogspot.com/, she just cracks me up! But this subject is something I have a problem with...so go and read her post about Pretty Woman 'cause it is too funny. Go and read it before you read this...GO!

Are you back? Did you leave a comment? She is a comment whore you know! GO!

NOW are you back? Heeelarious huh? Now enough about her 'cause we all know that it is all about me! ME ME ME!!!

So...a couple of years ago we went to Lake Tahoe for a week, guys golfed, we shopped, and of course. Well my Shoe Girl, (my SIL) and I were shopping and she smiled at a guy. Needless to say...he followed us around, first the store, then from shop to shop. At first it was funny, then it started to get kind of scary. Finally we got in the car, and we lost him, we thought! We went into a store to get a diet coke and he followed us in. Well HER in!

By this point I was way creeped out and had the guy at the counter call the cops. They came and hand cuffed the guy, questioned him, blah, blah, blah. She Girl was pretty scared.

While the officer was talking to us, I asked him why I didn't get a stalker. I never get a stalker unless it is a bill collector or repo man! That darn cop did not even offer to frisk me! What does a girl have to do to get frisked?!

At the airport? No, just take your shoes off. Pulled over for speeding? No...just your license! Do I look that homely and molly that cops don't even feel the need to pat me down?

Now granted, Shoe Girl is hot, 'course she is WAY younger than I, like about 2 or 3 years...but seriously? I can't even get the valet guy at the mall to frisk me!

So K.P...it must be tough to be super hot, your stalkers and all. The only males that follow me around are related and just want money.

Do I have to take a sharp object to the airport? Sewing scissors? Crochet hook?

Not having Superhotism is not as fun as you think! We may get all the movie roles of homely mothers and stuff, but we can't even get frisked for smuggling candy into the theater!

What is wrong here?

Now don't get me wrong...I don't WANT to be stalked, I just want to be hot enough to BE stalked...without the creepy guy. Is that too much to ask?

Oh and for all of you that went/read/heard conference...I have to teach Jeffery R. Holland's talk. Any thoughts? Before tomorrow? E-mail me...thanks.