Bah......Huh?

I have never had such a hard time getting into the Christmas Spirit as I have this year. My stereo has been broken and I can't use the ipod, in case WB calls for me. In the Good Mother Manual it ways I should not ignore him, but respond to his requests of "I'm sorry to bother you, but can I have a drink please?" Seriously...how can I say no to that sweet thing? Just because he can't get it himself is no reason why I should ditch him.



Well Homer went and bought me a Boze for Christmas! I small one but hey...I LOVE IT and have always wanted one! Now I can play my music in MY part of the house...WB is very territorial and that is were the computer is. Did I mention Homer gave it to my early? Now I can cry and complain and throw a tantrum if I don't get anything under the tree!!! Yes...I am that good...and that petty.



So here are a few things that have made me giggle these past couple of weeks. All from my blond ditsy girl McFly. I am not a writer so don't judge...



On WB birthday...McFly: "Mom, how many people are coming to the party tonight?"

Queen: "Well, WB has invited everyone and their dog."

McFly: "Really? Everyone is bringing their dogs?"



We found out (after extensive and expensive testing) that McFly does not have Attachment Disorder but she has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Yeah. On the way home from a long day of assessments I told her: "Well...now we know what race you are."

McFly: " Really?"

Me: " Yes, you are half black...or in other words, half African-American."

McFly: "Oh...cuz people always ask me and I just say I don't know."

(insert teaching moment) Me: "Now what are you going to tell them?"

McFly: (rolling her eyes and grunting because I am so stupid) "That I am half black and half African American!"



Yes, yes...she is almost 12 and knows who her Bio mother is...

The other day she wanted marshmallows that were melty in her hot chocolate so she but the whole bag of marshmallows in the microwave. I thought The First Born would die laughing...

By the way...I am very proud of The First Born...he is clean, has put on weight, and is doing well. He and Baby Mama are doing the big "D", and if he would get a job...life would be good for me cuz maybe he would leave. Love him but...just sayin'...

Where has the time gone!!!

Well, I missed November...or slept through it or something. I can't believe it is December and almost Christmas!

November sailed away. Seriously. Right before Thanksgiving I came down with a bad case of Vertigo!!! Have you ever had that? It's just stupid. Nothing hurts. I'm not sick. But let me tell ya, the room spins, I am disoriented, and it is annoying. Really. I can't drive, walk straight, think, well...part of that is normal for me but now I have an excuse!

Yesterday I walked in my She Cave and sat down, 'cause I have LOTS of Christmas presents to finish up and I started hyperventilating! Then I started thinking about getting the decorations out of the attic and putting Christmas, (it is a 3 day process...I have a lot of stuff) and I had an anxiety attack just thinking about it! How pathetic am I?! I LOVE Christmas! Love the feel of it, everyone smiling in the stores, it is just a kinder, gentler, world! (I'm not talking about the day after Christmas shopping...that is a whole nether story!)

Why do we do this to ourselves? One of my Ya-Ya's told me I should just boycott the deco this year. Thought about it, but poor McFly...she already is convinced I'm sure that I am the worse mother in the world and that would just solidify it. She is the last kid ya know, and I don't bake things for her or any of the fun things you young mama's do. That ship has sailed! I do buy "homemade" cookies along with the Oreo's! I am not that bad!

This is also the time of year you start getting those dumb lame Christmas letters. I HATE them!!
No one ever sends a letter saying their child is about to be paroled and may be home for New Year's, or that they just got a new house because their daughter burnt down the old one. I want some reality people! And if your reality is 8 son's have already served missions, married in the temple and are graduating from law/med school this year...I really don't want to hear it!!!! That does not make me very Christlike now does it. Telling me that they are all happy and healthy is OK...a few on anti-depressants...even better. I'm sorry!!! I just want to feel better about myself. Is there anything wrong with that?

I know with is economy that people are going through come terrible things. Let's hear it! We are all in the same boat...my boat may be just a bitter smaller than yours, but it has a hole in it too!

Maybe we should have a Meet and Greet at my house. I will serve hot spiced cider and lots of good food and you all can help me put up my 12 Christmas trees and 50 boxes of decorations. But then you have to come back after Christmas and help me take it down. Yes I have been known to leave it up till June and August a couple of times, and all year once. Maybe twice. Not lazy, just overwhelmed.

Pathetic. I know...(sigh)

If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands!

What is it with everyone's obsession with being happy?! I always thought that I was a happy person and the other day someone (you KNOW who you are!) told me that I just wasn't happy! Well yes I am! At least I thought I was until someone said that! Now I am all confused!

Sure, my life sucks, I pretty much can't stand my kids and some of my family (I can say that 'cuz the one's that I can't stand don't read this!) but other than that I AM TOO HAPPY dang it!!!!

So are you happy? Now...I know that "men are that they might have joy", but we aren't talking abut joy. Joy does in fact elude me. What is joy anyway? I feel joy with my grand kids, joy in my testimony of the gospel, (my church) but...that is about it. What am I doing wrong?

I feel peace, love, comfort, pain, but joy? Not so much. I realize that I couldn't get through my life without Homer and I am not saying that out loud just in case God hears me and decides to "test" me again...as he laughs all the way to the beach. I do know that I bitch and moan a lot, but hey...at least I don't hold it all in so that I die of a heart attack when I am 50. OK, so I am almost 52 and feel like I am 90. I guess that is another thing not to have joy in although I wouldn't go back and do anything in my life any different...except maybe I would give my kids up for adoption. Even the one I adopted.

Seriously...if you know me, you know that I do love my kids...I'm just kidding so don't get your panties in a twist, but I apparently suck at the mom thing. I must have said out loud once that I had this mom thing under control, and once again God heard me, laughed...and here we are not learning whatever it is that I am supposed to be learning. If I was catch on to that lesson we could move on to something else!

Men may have joy but do women? Do you? Maybe I feel it and just don't know it. I DO know that I would feel joy if I could ride WB's coat tails straight to the right hand of God, where he will be running around on that beach. I would even be willing to serve the mojitos, virgin of course, just to be able to feel that joy.

Home is a Wonderful Thing!

After 6 long weeks...we are home and WB is alive and well! OK, he is alive...and slowly getting well. It is great to be getting back to normal, even though Rader Normal is...well...NOT normal.

I would really like to thank my momma for coming through for us and picking up the slack at home, picking up McFly from school and keeping her from burning the house down or being arrested.

I have been reading you all, maybe not leaving comments, but laughing just the same. I love you guys!

We are going to the BYU v TCU game this weekend come hell or high water!!! It will be my first game of the year, so Max better come through for us! Let me know if any of you are going so we can hug and stuff.

Teta...sorry your daddy passed away, I love you so much!!

Game Day!

Yes it is game day for BYU vs. Utah St. Once again I miss it while Homer watches it at home. I will be in the hospital with WB. Wasted tickets...again! Good luck Max and Dennis!

Homer was with WB at the hospital Monday night and they were watching football. The nurse left to get the boy some juice and Homer ran after her to see if she would get him some ice water. He came back in the room and on the TV was Independence Day.

Homer: "What happened to the game"? (As he sits down in the chair and sets his 64oz. white trash mug on the night stand).

Old Lady: "Well, are you comfortable"?

He was in the wrong room!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! He said he was sorry to her and ran out and found our room!!! Then he realized he had forgotten his white trash cup and had to go back and get it!!!!! That gave me a good laugh and WB game out of his drugged stupor to giggle!!!

I would like to thank The Hamster for bringing me Diet Coke, I was trying to save it 'cause she put a pretty bow and flowers on it, I wanted to take a photo of it but I could not wait. Thank you soul sister!!!

We are back in ICU and I hate it in there. Can't have cell phones so I text incognito. I'm sure they don't notice. Luckily we have been blessed with great nurses who keep my boy alive and drugged. Gotta love good drugs!!!

Hope you all have a great weekend, I think our weather is in the 90's now. I wouldn't know, haven't seen the light of day in 5 weeks. Last weekend my SIL Shoe Girl came and spent the days with WB so I could have a rest. Life Saver!!! I slept for 2 days... Love you all, and thanks for all the prayers!

Still Lurking...

WB is back in the hospital this week so I am still just lurking around y'all. Thanks for making me laugh, and especially thanks for all of your prayers. The boy thought that he would bleed out on my watch? Well I don't think so!!! We got him to the ER in time, big hole in his stomach, burned it up, blah, blah, blah...hopefully the bleeding will stop so they don't have to take out part of his stomach.

I just did a 48 hour shift at the hospital so Homer could go the the BYU game, the game I never want to talk about for as long as I live, and thank you April for sending me texts on how bad the game was!!! Love you sister! Hamster and I will be mourning this week.

Anyway, still lurking so don't say anything bad about me 'cause I will see it!!! And if anyone of you are capable of feeling sorry for me...please do so starting now...McFly has starting playing with fire and just about burning the house down today, again on my watch. Do you see a pattern here? Gee...does anyone need a babysitter? I'm really good with kids...

Thanks for the Prayers!

There is this really great chaplain at St. Rose Sienna Hospital. He has been there for years and always says to me..."I know you are LDS, but is it OK if we pray for you?"

And then I always say to him..."Well, since we pray to the same God, thanks, I really appreciate that!"

I wonder why that is that some people think because you are a different religion that is may not be OK to pray for them? THAT would be my random thought Shelle and Jules...

Now to the good stuff...We have had a miracle! Seriously, we have! We had a ward fast for WB on Sunday along with alot of prayers for friends. Today they went in to surgery to remove his tumor...(5 docs said it was a GIST tumor), well they get in to remove it and it was the tube from his shunt that was growing into his stomach to create the "tumor"!

I am not one to say never mind Lord, it wasn't cancer so I don't need your help now...I TOTALLY believe in the power of prayer!!! Just like my friend Texas said..."this is a thank-you Jesus moment"!

Anyway, thank you all for everything, your prayers and happy thoughts! I told the doc that we had to be home by game time on Saturday...trust me...we will be!!! I can so be a nag! Just ask the fam!

BYU Cougars Rock!!!

OK, I am totally jacking this post from Cute Sister 'cuz she did all the work and I am a loser that way! My Cougars Rock!!! What a game!!! We watched it in the hospital room with WB. We would scream and the nurses would run in and ask if everything was alright! They finally caught on...

We are so proud of Max and the team...just wish Unga could have played...and Pitta the Kitty Lover was awesome as usual!

Yeah, who cares if he is Danny White's nephew! He is WB's cousin!

(well he's my nephew too!)

WB did wake up out of his drugged up stupor to see the last quarter and was grinning the best he could! He does love his cousin Max and the guys on the team are so good to him. So sorry we were not there but the win made a crappy week better. WE BLEED BLUE!!!

Lookin' forward to a GREAT year! Hopefully we can make the games..

M.I.A.

Hey bloggy friends! I will be MIA for a while...well, not totally MIA, I will lurk in the middle of the night when I am really tired and can't always leave rude and disgusting comments.

Las week Homer and I went for classes/testing to get our CCW, (concealed weapons) so I will be packin'! I do live in Vegas you know and have you met my first born? HAHAHAHA (you just THINK I am kidding)... then came home to a sick Wheelchair Boy. He has been pretty sick since Saturday, took him to the doctor...blah, blah, blah. This is not the usual brain surgery stuff, that I can handle, no, no...my sweet WB had to crash in the ER!!! Nurses yelling and throwing stuff...not my first rodeo, and he has been closer to the "D" word before. We are not panicky kind of people. (Although I will admit to you that I was praying HARD) but don't tell any of my other friends, I don't want them to think that I am spiritual!!! LOL

Ya know...as far as my first born goes...go ahead and call me a bad mother if you want! BUT! WB? Them are fightin' words!!! I have neglected and sacrificed everything for the boy, our whole family has, so don't tick me off!!! WB has never even had a bed sore in his life! OK...well Homer is in charge of that part, but I can take credit too don't ya think?

Anyway...long story short...gushing blood out from underneath his G-Tube, needed blood blah, blah, blah again...come to find out he has a rare form of stomach cancer. Inconvenient huh? He will be fine...just waiting to see if we do chemo or they cut it out. He has a lot of hardware in him and is at big risk for infection, so yes this does suck.

Now we are not "whoa is me, I'm a victim" kind of people. We don't want anyone in our ward to know so don't tell any of them. We just don't want everyone feeling sorry for us. Oh Wait!!! What about cookies? Or brownies? Hey!!!! Maybe I should get that "sorry" thing going! I could score!!!!

I did come out of the closet with my coke drinking to Homer the raw food freak! Nothing like a good medical scare to put life and diet coke drinking in perspective. Gotta love Heavenly Father's sense of humor!!!

Seriously...so grateful for friends who brought Cafe Rio and Red Mango, And really grateful for Homer and his strength. Don't tell him, but I could never do this without him! Really grateful for a loving God who is always there for me and keeps me in line.

Love you guys, I will be lurking so don't talk smack about me behind my back!!!

BYU game tomorrow night!!! Guess who will NOT be there??!!! Oh yeah...He does have a sense of humor...

THAT Woman?

When did I become THAT woman? And yes, I do use the term woman loosely.

When did I become THAT woman with the bratty, irreverent kids in church?
When did I become THAT woman who is not as spiritual as she once was? Or the woman who spends more time plucking the hair on her chin than styling the hair on her head?

When did I become THAT woman who can't make it through life without her "happy pills" or she is afraid the bodies will pile up in the backyard?

WHO IS THAT FAT WOMAN STARING BACK AT ME IN THE MIRROR???!!! When did I become my mother? (NO.....I did NOT say you were fat mom...)

When did I become THAT cynical, angry woman? Or the mother of a drug dealer facing 20 years? When did I start crying or laughing at the most inappropriate times? And WHERE in the helk did this muffin top come from???

Today is my 27th anniversary!!! What would I do without the greatest thing that has ever happened to me? Does he roll over in the morning and say to himself..."When did I marry THAT woman?" Well...we both are going to have to suck it up!!! No he did not sign up for the wrinkles and mean mom eyebrow line... but hey! Neither did I! When he decides to fork out for the plastic surgeon, botox, and looney bin...not to mention a housekeeper...then we will chat...till then, we are both stuck with me!!

P.S. Hamster...I bought you a present! I bought you a present! (I'm singing that)

Provo...here we come!

We are going on a short little vaycay tonight...going to watch a little BYU fall practice and Homer is going to golf and I will help my friend Texas do some projects around her house while WB watches TV and bosses us around. Texas has been our friend since WB was born, so she spoils him rotten and he loves it! (Kind of a break for me!)

So I hope all goes well...WB has been sick this week but is better now. I hope we don't have a hospital stint up there. He does love to go to the games and practices!

So...I know you will all be glad you don't have to hear my sarcastic comments for the next couple of days...maybe I'll find a 'puter and stalk ya all anyway!!!

I'm Baaack!

Well I just got back from 6...count 'em 6 WONDERFUL days at Brianhead in a great cabin with 4 other great women...in our jammies and sewing our butts off from 7:00 am till midnight-ish! Eat and sew that is all we did! HA Kritta!

It was alot of fun and I will post photos when I get the energy...it is hard work sitting all day!!

One day me and Con Bon Jovi were taking the garbage out and there were 3 drunk guys watching us. We had 2 huge bags apiece (we cleaned out the fridge) so I told the guys that our friend ticked us off...hehehe!!! Then I told them NEVER mess with menopausal women! HAHAHAHAHAHA....they were speechless....

Wheelchair Boy couldn't live without me, but only called about 8-20 times a day...

Mcfly flew back to Ar-kin-saw to meet her bio grandparents and motor home through the states for a few weeks before school starts.

I was lounging around yesterday, and Mean/Cute Sister made me walk with her, with the promise of Red Mango (she tricked me!) and Homer is making me do a Raw Foods Detox with him!!! I know! He is mean too! I am allergic to almost all raw fruits and veggies...maybe he is trying to kill me off!

I really missed you guys...and is EVERYBODY moving?

For Women Only!!!

This post is for women only!!! Seriously!!! If you are a guy you may comment and give your opinion, but if you are in my ward or otherwise related, we will NEVER speak of this! And yes, I can be blackmailed...

I have been taking a photography class because I want to be Shelle at BlokThoughts, when I grow up...no seriously, I don't want to take photos for money, I just want to take pics of really old things...architecture, barns, Homer, etc.

Anyway, I was looking at Teach's portfolio, and she has some great work! Which brings me to a question I want to throw out there...I REALLY need some opinions...I want to get a boudoir photo taken for Homer! OK STOP LAUGHING!!!! You will NEVER see it!!!! I promise I will not hang it on the wall next to my Jesus pictures, or display it at my 30 wedding anniversary.

Have you ever thought about it?

Have you ever done it?

Teach had some that were very tastefully done, even of old hags like me! Heavy set women looked gorgeous!

Am I totally creeping you out?

No Boobi showing...just photo shopped skin...what do you think?

Seriously Neighbor Guy on the corner...not a word!!!

Only 55 Days ' til BYU Game Day!

Hey all! Well I am kind of back, Wheelchair Boy is out of the hospital, but he was sick again after 2 days...so we have been doing mega doses of steroids to see if it blows his ventricles open. If it doesn't work, just kill me! This is a cool photo of his head after surgery. Peeps does a great job with his stitches...it makes a quilter proud!

Well, only 55 days until the first BYU game! It will be in Dallas at their brand new stadium, BYU kickin' butt on Oklahoma! I was going to invite Hamster Chick to go and pay her way...but she did not invite me to go to the meet and greet in Provo, so she is a big loser!!! LOL

Last weekend we had a BBQ with my cute nephew Max and all of his in-laws. Now, I hate to brag...and I hate even worse to be a name dropper...but my nephew Max just happens to be the starting QB for BYU! Not only are we proud of him for that, but since he grew up in AZ., and we grew up in the hospital here, we missed most of the important events in his life, so we feel like since we went to BYU and love BYU, that we just as well make him think that we like him, so we support him and go to all of his games.

We really don't like him that much...he just has really good taste in women, and we love his wife! No really, he is a great guy and a really poor loser! Wheelchair Boy whipped his butt in Madden, and he cried!

Anyway, we had a great time a really fun dance off!

This is Kinz, Max's wife, doing her thing!

Kinz' mom...who is cute and SWEET (something I will NEVER be) used to own a dance studio, need I say more? Go Ness!

This is my mom, wearing my brand new apron from Anthro...doing I don't know what, but it was funny!!

Cute Sister doing her thing to "All The Single Ladies"...

Kinz' Baby Sister...so talented and sweet!

Ness and her man Jerry (with goofy Pitta looking over his shoulder!)

Mom and Ness

How cute is their nephew!

Kinz' bro and his wife

Dennis and Mataya Pitta

(yes...he can smile, and yes...he is mean to me!)

Pitta thinks I am old and lets me know it!

Wheelchair Boy begged to come home from the hospital early so we could have that party. He loves Max and no matter how uncomfortable he gets, or how bad he is hurting, he sticks it out for his boys! Yes, we bleed blue! I team has always been great to him and I really appreciate that which brings me to the point that I am still bitter Bryan Keihl is getting married. So hot that boy!

Wheelchair Boy...

I'll be taking a break for about a week guys, Wheelchair Boy is in the hospital getting a new shunt...he has been sick for about a week now, and I'm just getting around to taking him in. What a good mother I am!

He hasn't been in the hospital for 2 years now, so we figure he need his 2000 mile oil, lube, and filter change!!! At least that is the story I'm telling Homer, I really just wanted to see my hot Neurosurgeon Dr. Peeps and his sassy little assistant Princess!

Don't worry...all will be well, Peeps will take good care of my boy and seriously...could my life really suck any more than it already does?

Signed,
Mrs. Jack Bauer or maybe Mrs. Michael Weston

Family...you gotta love 'em!

This is a boring, serious post but this has been on my mind lately and I really need to vent.

Am I the only one that has a whacked out family? I mean seriously?

Yesterday I had to go to court with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and Baby Mama...they are looking at doing serious time on drug and gun(s) charge. Going into the courthouse, I think is enough to keep anyone straight.

I really did teach him well, but unfortunately, we does have his agency to choose (did I really vote for that)? Yes, I pray constantly and cry often for him and my grandchildren. Baby Mama has cleaned up and is doing great, is a wonderful mom and he is getting better every day.

OK, back to my story...he has some cousins (not to mention uncles and an aunt) who have gone the way of I-really-don't-know-what-to-call-it. More things happen to him in one week than I will ever see in my lifetime. These boys (cousins), hang out with bad people and do really dumb things.

Yesterday, for all of you Utahans, one of those boys robbed a Walgreen at gunpoint in Provo...all for Oxycontin, because he really has an addiction. In order to keep my sanity, all day long I kept saying..."it's a good day to be a Rader!"

Well it is amazing the comments that I have heard within the family and outside of it. Many of the members of this family have no tolerance for empathy for these boys! First of all, I am far from an enabler, but I do love these boys and I know that changes can be made. Yes, I do love to make fun of them and talk smack about them, but...I when I married Homer I knew that there were drug addicts in his family and I come from an addictive family myself, so I kinda knew what I was signing up for. Didn't quite think that MY sweet boy would be right there with them.

I welcome these delinquents into my home, (yes, I have all our drugs for Wheelchair Boy in a safe), and they will always be welcome unless they steal from us. They are family. Some members of our family won't allow them in their house, and that is their business, I don't judge.

My SIL and I were joking about changing our names, her to her maiden name me to Mrs. Jack Bauer, as we were talking about how dumb our nephew was. After that, I remembered how alone I felt in trying to deal with my child. My friends are VERY supportive, but hey, they all have perfect kids, and don't really know how I feel. When I talked to my other SIL and felt the hurt from her, I had to apologize for my Karma coming back and biting her in the butt!

Family. In our hardest and loneliest times, if we can't count on our family to love us no matter what, who can we count on? Friends come and go, but for most of us, family is always there, whacked as they are.

Yes, I will continue to love and hug on these loser boys, and yes, I will continue to talk smack about them on my blog, but I do care about what happens to them, worry about them, and will always pray for them, and continue to not give them money. Why? 'Cuz that's what I signed up for.

Yes...it is a good day to be a Rader.

I got an Award!!!

I got an award from Sandra at http://worldsendfarmthisandthat.blogspot.com/and feel so lucky!! I wish I could figure out how to put it on my side bar but I am side bar retarded. The rules are, I have to tell seven things about myself, I think seven things that nobody knows, and send this to seven people.

Well the problem is my life is pretty much an open book, I do have a big mouth and just say it, so I will try and make something up, then it is up to you to figure out is it is a lie or not! (hee hee hee)! Here goes:

1. I lost about 135 lbs. a couple of years ago. Yes a was a really fat girl, now I am just a fat girl!

2. I do not have a lot of self confidence...for example: my Psycho Sister told me a quilt I was making was the ugliest thing she had ever seen! I put it down and never picked it up again. That was two years ago! I had 3 rows to sew on to finish it. Well I did finish it this week and it is beautiful! Why do I do that?

3. I am a CSI, Forensic Files, anything to do with that kind of stuff. I feel a need to know there are people out there who have crappy lives too!

4. I worry way too much, so I don't watch the news. If I do, I can't sleep. If someone gets killed in a car wreck, I stress over it and their families. Ironic huh? (see #3) "TV" doesn't seems as real as the news to me. Also, this is one of the 100 reasons the bishop would never make me R.S. Prez., I would die of a heart attack worrying about other people.

5. I weed high maintenance people out of my life... (See #2) I don't need mean thoughtless people in my life...I've got family to do that.

6. I could never live without my Homer. Don't tell him I said that because he thinks if he dies on me I will marry either Jack Bauer or Jack Sparrow immediately. And if he leaves me, he's taking the kids!

7. Deep down, I am a spiritual person, but don't like people to know it. Hard shell, Soooo much better!


OK, not many people that are close to me (as in proximity) read this except Cute Sister and Crazy Cousin, and they already know what a fruitcake I am, so do NOT tell anyone about this!!! Especially #7, because I swear I will deny it!

THANKS SANDRA FOR MAKING ME BARE MY SOUL!!!

So here are my 7 people...(drum roll please!):

Banter, Buffoonery & Bloggy Blather
it's not as easy as it looks
Kingdom of the Princess
The (Trailer) Parks Farm
Protect & Provide
FINALLY!!!!
Is It Just Me?

I tried to pick people that have not been chosen before, this award has gone around I see, and also people who would answer it!

I just wanted to say Thank you so much to Cute Sister. On Monday, she surprised me and took me to a spa day at Green Valley Ranch. Have you ever had a hot rock massage? Oh. My. Gosh.
It was orgasmic! We then layed out at the pool all day and watched people (my favorite thing to do) then in for a facial. Yes, I do look 10 years younger, if only to myself. And don't worry, there will be no pictures. After that, on the way home we went to Red Mango!!! She did not even make me run for it ! (This time anyway)

Sometimes it is hard to express to someone how much you love them and how much an act of kindness has touched you. Yes, she knows how much I needed that day, with family stress and all, but she has no idea HOW much it meant to me. I think I will forgive her for being cute and skinny, and for making me run before I got a Red Mango. Well, I have to forgive her, she is my hairdresser. That could me ugly.

Oopie, you were so inspired! Thank you. I Love You.

Poor M.J.!!!

I went on a retreat for quilting of course and Wheelchair Boy got sick...first time in 2 1/2 years...I just told someone that so I am sure I jinxed myself! Anyway I had to come home 3 days early so I am bitter of course.

Anyway back to Michael Jackson!!!

I am so worried about my really good friend Kristina...she LOVES Michael Jackson and she is going to be so sad!!! So EVERYONE...please go to her blog at/http://adamandkristinapulsipher.blogspot.com/, and give your condolences to her. I'm not sure she will come back from this. She was there for his trial...front and center...and has never wained in her support, so let's support K.P.!!!

Deep thoughts...

When we travel, I try to think of ways to torture my children in the car so by passers won't see and judge me for being a mean mom and call CPS, so...I make them listen to seventies music!!!Full. Blast.

Homer and I sing at the top of our lungs just to really top it off and embarrass them. I remember knowing and singing to all the songs of the sixties and seventies growing up, knowing every word. Well, here we are singing along, and we listen to them alot so McFly has learned some of the words, and we are singing along to the song "Chevy Van" and McFly is singing also.

Have you paid attention to the words of the songs you grew up with!!!! Oh. My. Gosh!!! I was embarrassed!!! Was I stupid growing up? Did I just not pay attention to the words that I sang and just got into the music, or was I that naive that I don't know what it all meant?

We are talking about a guy who picks up a hitch hiker in his van and saying she has the face of an angel and tan legs and he is fantasizing about her while she sleeps and when she wakes up "she took me by the hand and we made love in my chevy van and that's alright with me".

It kind of takes you back when your children are listening to this stuff (although I will admit the song really takes me back in time), and then the next song..."One Toke Over The Line"...HELLO!!! what kind of crap are we listening to? And why do we call it "great music" when it's our stuff and garbage when it's their stuff? Do they listen to the words? I don't think I really did growing up, I just got into the tunes.

So...I'm a hypocrite, sue me. What do ya'll think? Am I going to hell and will you guys be there with me? I would enjoy the company...

Big Trauma!!!

We have had a serious trauma in our lives this week so I have been unable to post. Well here goes...

Wheelchair Boys' 65" big screen TV is broken...I know! IT is terrible! How would you like to lay in bed day in and day out with nothing to do! So me, being the selfish, I mean SELFLESS mother that I am...was forced to give up my computer screen for him. I Know! It is terrible!

Hopefully the guy will come back with the part tomorrow and WB is asleep right now, so I was able to steal a few minutes blogging. I miss you guys! I love to read your blogs and realize that your lives are just as pathetic as mine. Makes me feel good...just sayin'...

Second of all, my yorkie is in heat the the mastiff is going nuts! He corners her and she barks at him and bites him! It is kinda funny! He whines and cries and won't eat 'cuz he can't get himself a little somethin'-somethin'...I know! It's terrible! Typical male huh?!!

Also, this is to the chucklehead that suggested that I read the book "Miss Delacourt"...What the flagnon!!!??
I can diss Miss Heidi 'cuz she doesn't read this blog...so here goes...Very good book..well written, the girl has talent! BUTTT.....what the heck?!!! No smut? None? What is that all about Miss Heidi? I'm all alone on my B-day, feeling sorry for myself, thinkin' I would read me a smut novel...and low and behold...NO SMUT!!!! So now what...I can recommend this book to all of our Young Women? This is so going to kill my highly prized rebellious rep I've got going...(Just kidding Miss Heidi...but you could have at least thrown me a bone on my first historical novel!)

We have also had our grandkids since Friday...I am way too old to be a grandma! We took them to church Sunday, (they don't go), and after the Sacrament song (I Stand All Amazed), the boy yells at the top of his lungs "I want you people to stop singing" Oh it is so funny when you are not the mom!!

Also this is a HUGE SHOUT OUT to all of you young mothers...Princess PePe had an earache and was up all night crying...I had forgotten how hard the no sleep thing was! Admire ya...don't envy ya...just sayin'...

P.S. Read Miss Delacourt...but don't Miss Heidi I said so...

Yeah ME!!!!

I just read on K.P.'s blog... (See the post below) that I won a CD from the cute running skinny chick!!! Yeah me!!!

I has been a long week and I am so tired! I had to travel far, far, away...and care for my FIL while my BIL and Shoe Girl are at Disney World with their little darlings. Grandpa and I (we will call him Grandpa 'cuz, well gee...that's what my kids call him so EVERYONE calls him Grandpa.

Anyway...Grandpa is 84 and not doing so great, so I went to spent 3 days with him and ended up staying a week, I did have to spend my birthday alone, and I can live with that, because I had a GREAT lunch date with my new BBFF's Shelle and April, but I am bitter...I missed Phantom with Homer, so he took McFly!!! My 11yr old! Now you see why I'm bitter!? 8th row..in the middle...but she did LOVE it and was very grateful!

And besides that...right now I am watching Homer do PX90!!!! And I'm not doing it!!! He wouldn't let me take a picture of him, but I will another day...trust me! It will be worth it!!! Wheelchair Boy just said "that's not a workout! That's a freak show!!"

Below is the little dinky house I had to stay in with grandpa and 4 dogs.


I could not even pee without them following me! Don't tell Shoe Girl I told you this, but she spoon feeds her Yorkie, so guess who had to do that! Yep I sure did! Homer told me the only reason I was going to spoon feed that dog is so that I could blog about it! (well...he was kinda right!)

I would like to thank my mama for watching MY kids so I could take care of grandpa.

My niece Ames and her fam came from Penn. to visit, and there are all my nieces at our party! The one in the yellow graduated from high school today...Congrats!

I will do a better post tomorrow...but I HAD to do a photo of my first born...this is the first time I have seen him smile in 5 years...sad, but very true!

Comment for K.P.

I wanted to leave a really long comment on K.P. blog at/http://adamandkristinapulsipher.blogspot.com/, she just cracks me up! But this subject is something I have a problem with...so go and read her post about Pretty Woman 'cause it is too funny. Go and read it before you read this...GO!

Are you back? Did you leave a comment? She is a comment whore you know! GO!

NOW are you back? Heeelarious huh? Now enough about her 'cause we all know that it is all about me! ME ME ME!!!

So...a couple of years ago we went to Lake Tahoe for a week, guys golfed, we shopped, and of course. Well my Shoe Girl, (my SIL) and I were shopping and she smiled at a guy. Needless to say...he followed us around, first the store, then from shop to shop. At first it was funny, then it started to get kind of scary. Finally we got in the car, and we lost him, we thought! We went into a store to get a diet coke and he followed us in. Well HER in!

By this point I was way creeped out and had the guy at the counter call the cops. They came and hand cuffed the guy, questioned him, blah, blah, blah. She Girl was pretty scared.

While the officer was talking to us, I asked him why I didn't get a stalker. I never get a stalker unless it is a bill collector or repo man! That darn cop did not even offer to frisk me! What does a girl have to do to get frisked?!

At the airport? No, just take your shoes off. Pulled over for speeding? No...just your license! Do I look that homely and molly that cops don't even feel the need to pat me down?

Now granted, Shoe Girl is hot, 'course she is WAY younger than I, like about 2 or 3 years...but seriously? I can't even get the valet guy at the mall to frisk me!

So K.P...it must be tough to be super hot, your stalkers and all. The only males that follow me around are related and just want money.

Do I have to take a sharp object to the airport? Sewing scissors? Crochet hook?

Not having Superhotism is not as fun as you think! We may get all the movie roles of homely mothers and stuff, but we can't even get frisked for smuggling candy into the theater!

What is wrong here?

Now don't get me wrong...I don't WANT to be stalked, I just want to be hot enough to BE stalked...without the creepy guy. Is that too much to ask?

Oh and for all of you that went/read/heard conference...I have to teach Jeffery R. Holland's talk. Any thoughts? Before tomorrow? E-mail me...thanks.

All Hail the Writers!

I have noticed a reoccurring theme the last couple of weeks on several posts that I have been stalking...mainly about how bloggers love to write! Some majored in journalism, some do it for a hobby, others do it as journal entries...and then there is me.



I was trying to figure out why I do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah...kind of a journal entry I guess, I did want to share photos with friends and relatives far way. (not you Crash...unless you have been in prison...you will just have to stay on the friends side and stay off the deadbeat fence!) Well, I have found that I am really not very funny, not like K.P. or quirky like Crash or hot like Shelle...and I could go on and on. However, I did realize that I do do an awful lot of b---hing, complaining, moaning, whining, and just plain venting. Am I a downer? Am I as depressing and pathetic as I seem? I have no talent at this writing thing...but I do enjoy it, and I love to read all of your stuff!

Do I really have to find a lost puppy? Can I trade in one of my kids for a puppy? I don't even get a good vacay! Our vaycays consist of BYU football games (go cougars!) but seriously...how sad is that? Don't make me start being all spiritual and faking like I could do a post like that!

Well...I guess I will continue to write about Homer and McFly...and no she has no clue where her nick name comes from, she is way too blonde to figure that out! Oh, by the way Inmate #666 wasn't even offended about his nickname, he was ticked about his lousy photo! He thought maybe some hot blogger would want to look him up and he didn't like his smile...oh...the naive-ness of non-bloggers! I told him that was the least of his worries!

So guys, keep making me laugh, keep humoring me and fake like ya'll like me!! And I will try and get a picture of Scary Shorts Guy, who walks his dogs up my street everyday! THAT will make you laugh...

Welcome Home Jail Bird!

This is my BIL...let's call him...Inmate #666, got out of prison on Tuesday. He had only been in about 18 months, (second stint) but to my MIL, he is the chosen one! Now, he is a lot of fun, loves my kids immensely, used to be a crack head, and is only 47 yrs old!!!

Don't cha just love the white beard?

The lady at Von's grocery store made this...we didn't have much to work with.

We only get together as a Rader family when we have to, so he was grateful!
This is so my life...

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day everyone, hope it is all you desire, except my mom...who wrote an anonymous message on my last post! She eludes to the fact that I inherited my "bad mother" qualities from her! Oh please! I earned those qualities all on my own thank-you-very-much! I have the gray hairs and the He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named to prove it! Hey I bought you a cake now be nice!!!
Jules...for you!

P.S. Parenting from the Trenches
Do you have a child who lies, steals, sneaks, stalks, hordes, chatters non-stop, or urinates in places other than the potty, etc?! Check out this blog!

http://lisajordanpuddin.blogspot.com/2009/05/woo-hoo.html

Do they love me in spite of me?

First of all...let's get the blackmail off my back. I keep getting threatened about our little Easter tragedy. So let's just put all the cards on the table. I KNOW that I am not a good mother so don't threaten me!

This is McFlys' Easter basket.

And this is McFly just as happy as can be! I bought the candy and crap, I just forgot to put it in the baskets with the cute grass and stuff the you vacuum up for months afterward. A cardboard box? Seriously? It didn't look that bad at the moment, but I will admit...not so good now.

I told her that I forgot to put them in baskets (as she was sitting there all dressed and ready for church) and she just rolled her eyes at me. Rolled her eyes? Where does she get this stuff?

At least Wheelchair Boy got a Tupperware bowl. A big one too...just sayin'...

This photo is just funny. He falls asleep everyday watching T.V. Here he is asleep with his only working finger still on the remote! Gotta love that sweet boy!

I can't keep going on about all my motherly sins, so back to the reason for this post. Now...I KNOW my one and only Homer loves me more than anything (except maybe golf...oh...and football...oh!...and the kids!) BUT! He committed the very worst of sins. Worse than cheating on me! The hurt from this is too deep to even explain!

See this?

This is probably THE LAST box of Sugar Free Snackwell's Shortbread Cookies in the U.S. of A.!

I order some from my friendly neighborhood Albertson's and got the last 3 cases from Nabisco that there was. They don't make them anymore...and this is my last box! I have been savoring these puppies sloooooowly!

My second to the last box was opened, and I was partaking in long intervals, and then it happened! One of Wheelchair Boy's friends came over to visit and brought his girlfriend. (This is a great 21yr old kid that lives down the street). Now please note that I love him to death. He comes and plays Madden with the Boy, takes him to the movies and just hangs out with him in between classes and work when he has time. So sweet and caring...I just love him...BUT...NOT enough to share my second-to-the-last box of cookies!

They were watching a movie and Homer gave them my cookies! I didn't know till the next day! I don't know that I can forgive him! And he rolled his eyes at me! Where do they get this? Is nothing sacred anymore? He won't even say he is sorry...he thinks I am petty! Hummp! Whatever. I can be petty if I want. I have not had sugar in over 5 years. I love those cookies and I am bitter that they quit making them. I need them. I love them. I want more!

OK, I feel better. So look at this cute baby quilt I made for the cutest little redheaded boy in our ward!

So easy! It is a Thimble Blossoms pattern.

How cute and squishy is he! His 2 brothers and sister call me Grandma Carrot. I just love them!

Which brings me to the point that I miss my grandbabies somethin' fierce. Maybe if they were here, I would have made better Easter baskets!

Just sayin'...

It's Friday!

I have spent the last couple of days in St. George trying to be a good mormon and quilt with my friends, because I have no talent and am not a "crafty" little mormon girl. It was good to have girl time and relax and not have anyone call me mom...except Wheelchair Boy did call me 17 times yesterday. At least one of my spawn likes me! He is the good child you know.

While I was there, I figures since I was the only one in the world not reading Miss Delacourt or anything by David Sedaris, I bought them. And yes, I did buy the book "Naked" just for the name of it. I'm only a couple of chapters in but it is hilarious! Does this mean I'm in with the the cool people?

Also, check out my BFF (whether she likes it our not) Shelle at BlokThoughts, her post on Dirty Little Secrets is too fun, and you can leave your secrets anonymously! But go ahead and leave your name...we won't judge...maybe laugh, but not judge!

OK, enough about the hot girl, 'cause it's all about me don't cha know! I wanted to show you a photo of a quilt I did for Wheelchair Boys' Neurosurgeon Dr. Peoples. I call him "Peeps" 'cause he has saved the boys' life so many times, I feel I have earned the right to call him names! OK, history...Peeps is a Einstein fanatic and has been collecting tee shirts since college and I took them all a made a quilt!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...it only took me two years but at least I finished it which is more than I can say for anything else I ever do.



This is Peeps and his Assistant Khyla, whom I love ssssooooo much 'cause she always laughs at my jokes!

For all you quilters, PLEASE don't enlarge this and look at all my mistakes cause it was done completely out of love, and I mean love! He is the greatest surgeon ever, an honest and upstanding guy, and dang cute on top of that! Oh, and he makes me laugh...

Motherhood?

It's been another long week at the zoo, McFly hates me and makes sure that I know it every minute of everyday...but help is on the way! I have an appointment with a Neuropsychologist, so at least she can tell me if I am raising a Sociopath or not!

I had to teach RS yesterday at our church, and I went early to talk to the Bishop and of course he was out of town! Next thing I know...Guy-On-The-Corner who is in my ward asks me how I am and I burst into tears! Now...I pride myself on being known as the chick with no heart or feelings...and I am crying like a little girl! Hello! Uncomfortable! Not only for me but for him as well! Not only does he think we are THE white trash of the neighborhood...he now is feeling sorry for Homer thinking that he has a total basket case for a wife! And to top it all off...he was very nice to me, gave me good advice, AND didn't make fun of me or roll his eyes at me once (that I could see anyway)!

Then to make things worse...he has really good kids and a great wife, so now they both are going to know how pathetic I am...and I swear if he tells one person that I am really a big baby, I will toilet paper his perfectly manicured lawn! I will, I will!

How Homer puts up with me I will never know! I hate that he is a better mother than I am...but hey...I can yell, and he never does unless it is in some kind of sports...never loses his cool, and is never down. Me on the other hand, I internalize everything! So glad he keeps me in check...but he can't cook worth crap!

So let this be a warning to all of you...do not tell anyone that I am sensitive or that I care about anyone...cause I don't...seriously...

It's Official!

Well...it is official! I am a bad mother! I know, I know...you are all surprised to find out this little tidbit of info, but it is true! McFly dropped the birth mother card on me! She is 11 yrs old and has known who her birth mother was for about...3 months! Plus...the woman died last summer and she has only met her 3 or 4 times!



Seriously? At least when my other kids hated me I could at least tell them I gave birth to them and was in labor for like 6 days! Ok, 4 hours, but that is not the point! They were stuck with me! McFly wants to go live with her birth grandparents now because I made her do her homework...noooo...no History Genius' for me Crash! It is so not fair!

Should I lock her in her room for the rest of her life or will CPS come after me? And do I care? I'm just sayin...

Serious Post...Seriously...

Does anyone out there have experience with RAD? (Reactive Attachment Disorder) I have read about 5 books, been to every web site, so I want to know if anyone has close experience with this little problem of mine! Please e-mail me...before I have to start taking drugs, 'cause they are not working on McFly!

Check this out...

After I wrote my post (see below) I read another lil sister blog...this chicky-poo is funny...check her out! BlokThoughts

Ginormous Dilemma!

I have a huge decision to make! I am thinking of changing Cute Sisters name to Mean Sister!

Now, here she is with Wheelchair Boy, she is very good to him and loves him lots, so that is a plus. The other day I called her (she lives about 20 minutes away) and told her I was having a bad day and I needed a Red Mango. So, if you have every HAD a yogurt from Red Mango, you know what I am talking about! She laughed at me...LAUGHED!

Well, as I was finishing a quilt I was making...in walks little sister. Did I mention that little sister is 21 years younger than I am? Psycho Sister was the youngest and she was 17 when Cute Sister was born...I still have nightmares when I think about my parents doing...well you know...

Back to my dilemma, lil' sis walks in with a Red Mango! I have never felt such joy! I reached for it with tears in my eyes...then...here it comes...she tells me I have to go for a walk first! A WALK! Not only a walk a really, really FAST walk! She made me walk 2 and1/2 miles really fast as she literally jogged circles around me...literally!! Does it get any meaner? My poor 51 year old legs were like jelly! Did I mention that she is, like, skinny...and cute...and works out everyday? I really kind of hate her! For her being cute and skinny and all...I'm just sayin'...

THEN...as I am trying to forgive her...she calls me and says..."He went to Jared's!" WHAT THE FLAGNON! Yes people...Guitarman went to Jared's for their 5th anniversary! Diamond necklace, ring, and bracelet! Rubbin' THAT in my 27 married years face! Homer hasn't ever been to Jared's! (OK in his defense...I did get a beautiful Vintage wedding ring for my 25th, but that wouldn't make my story very good now would it?)

So what do yo think? Should I change her name?

Conference Weekend Guilt

Is it just me? Am I the only one that feels guilt after watching conference? Is it possible to feel so lifted up and so much sorrow at the same time? I really don't think that it is meant that way. It seems like one talk is given that gets me all rev'ed up then BAM! the next one comes and I want to crawl in a hole. I would like to take this moment to thank my Ma for having the guilt gene ingrained in me forevermore. I'm just sayin'...

It is amazing how strong your testimony can grow listening to the council of the Prophet. Don't you just love Pres. Monson?! Even my spawn enjoyed it! I wish He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless could have heard what was said. It would have been good for him to know that he is not alone and his life will not get better until he pulls his head out! Again...I'm just sayin'...

In a small way, I am greatful for that guilt gene, (in a small way) I guess it does keep me on the straight and narrow, well...it doesn't KEEP me there, me testimony keeps me there, but the guilt gene does give a much needed kick in the pants when I seem to get into life's little ruts. Elder Anderson said "The keeping of testimonies in these days will be a badge of honor through all the eternities", what a great thing that is! I hope that I am wearing that badge of honor, but I am sure that I will be so humble that I will not see it! I can't let you all think that I am going soft! That I am spiritual! I can't have that now can I!!!

Phoenix Trip

OK...Kristina P., here I am updating...(check out her blog, it's freakin' funny but don't tell her I said that, she gets a big head...and she hates Edward...and I finally saw the movie and I did like it although I will never admit to it. Wheelchair boy watched it 4 times in 2 days...so I am now an expert on it and I have to say I am a James fan...he likes to play with his food and so do I!!!

It has been a LLLOOOONNNGGGGG week...I jacked my back up and was laid up for a couple of days and still had to help my Ma move to her new apartment. (insert whine here), then we went to Phoenix to see Princess PePe and The Boy.

As we were in the car I was taking pics, trying to get to know my camera. This is part of the new bridge...do ya think ya want to drive over this when it is done?

NOt looking so safe to me!!

Creepy?

More creepy?

Great sculpture

Look how much to water line has dropped!

Wheelchair Boy in the front seat...am I not supposed to be second in command?

McFly in the very back. We got a new Durango with 3 seats so I wouldn't have to sit with her (Miss OCD)!! She was STILL trying to rearrange my seat and put everything up with me so her area would be clean!

When we got to Glendale, or where ever we were, Baby Mama and the kids met us at the motel and we went to Peter Piper Pizza (kid's choice),

and me being the good grammy that I am...had to deal with it!

Chicken Nuggets (pretty good too) 'cause The Boy "I don't like pizza, I only like chicken nuggets"...

Nasty Pizza

The Boy coming out of the play tunnels

All I could think about was all of the germs, snot, and who knows what on all of the toys! It was really creeping me out! How often do you think they clean those things?

Wheelchair Boy dong what he always does, respecting his MaMa!

After we ate we went to the high class toy store Wal-Mart to take the kids birthday shopping. When they turn 3, we take them to the store and what ever they can carry to the register, they get to keep. We do it at 3 because they haven't quite figured out the electronics department yet.

The Boy got 2 monster cars and a big wheel

Princess PePe's birthday was the week before, so she got herself a princess bike

She rode her bike through the store (only a grandma would let a kid do that!) and he pushed his goods down the isle while we video taped it!

This is our very nice checker-outer lady!

Homer was trying to put the big wheel together with no tools...The Boy was so excited and so patient...a trait he did NOT get from his father...

Can you believe how many extra parts they put in boxes of toys? I tried to tell Homer that I think they went somewhere, but NNNOOOOOOOO!!!

The kids stayed in the motel with us, he talks in his sleep and fell off the bed twice without waking up and PePe snores...

Look at this!!! Ramada Inn! This is our shower in the handicap room! And it leaked all night long!

I took a shower with flip flops on.

Princess PePe had a soccer game and Baby Mama is getting her ready

Wheelchair Boy is so excited!

Homer tried to get her on the field and she would not go and play! She is so stubborn!

The Boy was happy!

Here I am trying to pay her to play...

She did go out and cheer in the end!

After that we went and saw Monster's vs Aliens...too funny! I highly recommend it for kids and adults...